AimlessGrace

Hi, this is my first time on here, I'm just so tired of feeling like no one can relate even though I know they're so many people going threw the same struggle. My brother stole from my boyfriend today, a lot of money. My parents kicked him out and I think this time they won't let him back. I usually am very level headed, I didn't even raise my voice when he stole from me, but I lost it today sending me into a full anxiety attack. My parents knew I had an anxiety disorder but they have never seen an attack before, ever sense high school I felt like they had enough to worry about with my brother and I didn't want to bother them with my emotional issues. With all the money or drugs he must have now and with no one around looking out for him I'm worried he's going to die tonight. I worry for my mom more the anything, my other brother and myself have found a way to come to terms with it as much as anyone can but she, like so many mothers of addicts, blames herself. I don't really know how things here usually work but I just needed to put my thoughts somewhere and maybe find some others who understand. Thank you.

Maudcat

Welcome to Sober Recovery, Aimless. Glad you found your way here. I am so sorry for your pain and sadness today. What are things you can do to ease your anxiety right now? Meds? Breathing? You are not alone. There is a lot of caring support here. Your brother, as you know, is doing what addicts do. You can't change or control his behavior, and worrying is not good for you. Try to rest and ease your mind. Peace.

JimC60

Aimless Grace,

Welcome to the forum, you have found a good place to share and vent when needed. The level of experience and insight is very deep here so read and post as much as you can.

It sounds like you and your mom especially could use some face-to-face time with others in similar situations with addicted spouses, children or other loved ones.

I heartily endorse Nar-Anon as a resource and meeting place. Google "Nar-Anon.org" and then click on "Find a meeting" to find a meeting in your area. Others have found comfort at Al-Anon or Celebrate Recovery. If nothing else at any of these these groups you will discover that you are not alone in your journey........and that counts for a lot!

Keep coming back,

Jim

Sephra

I am so so sorry for what you are going through. It is so hard to be part of a family being destroyed by addiction. You are not alone. I hope today is a better day.

AimlessGrace

Thank you all for your support, I do take an anti anxiety med however I haven't been able to find it so I think he may have taken it. It's hard seeing my mom put so much of this on herself but honestly I'm so realeved to have him gone. It's heartbreaking but I have been going threw this for around ten years so I feel like I lost my brother years ago and for my own mental health I need him not in my life, and I need to remind myself that's not selfish. I have done everything I can for him and if I thought he really wanted to get better I would still be helping but I don't think he truly has any desire. He had two sons that I watch a lot and it's gonna be really hard to brake this too then. His youngest son is in middle school and he's so smart, he's gets so much and is so sensitive, I wish I could make it easy for them but there's only so much you can do, it sucks no matter what.

bigsister1982

Oh I wish I could hug you! I too, was a sister of an addict and I had major anxiety. Seven years of him living with my parents in active addiction was so hard. There is nothing you can do to change your brother or fix your brother unless he wants to change himself.

Every emotion that you feel is okay - relief, sadness, peace, anger. Take care of yourself and be a welcoming part of those two boys lives - I'm sure they are already so grateful to have you as their calm place with all the turmoil in their lives.

Sending much love your way. You will be in my thoughts.