Nelly1

My fiancé is coming home Monday from his second completed rehab program. This time he opted for a private rehab in the mountains instead of the veterans rehab which we all agreed wasn't The best (most of the people inside were drying out from drinking and they didn't really cater to heroin addicts) he was the only heroin addict in the program. That was about a year ago, he relapsed the second day home. His whole attitude from that time to this time is completely different. He said numerous times he was "forced" into the Veterans rehab, and he was. We all but dragged him there..... This time he chose to go. He called me and his mother and said... I'm done, can't do it another second, I am calling a detox tomorrow. We found an amazing place and the guy who said "I'm only staying for a week detox" ended up staying much longer. He also refused suboxone and suffered through the detox. He threw up for days in there and had suboxone available and continued refusing it. I am so proud of that. Anyone who has been through this knows how big of a deal that refusal is. He didn't take the easy way out..... He chose to feel the real withdrawals and not give himself yet another substance. We had a family meeting at the rehab and the counselor who is amazing commended me for joining a group like this.... He said it's a great help for families and suggested I find alanon near me. I know this will be a struggle.... I know not to have insane expectations and to keep my hopes down but my faith high.... But I will remain hopeful in his battle. I just wanted to share my glimmer of happiness througuout this nightmare for anyone living in the battlefield with me! Xoxoxox

Nelly1

Also I wanted to add that when I mentioned his attitude changing there are a few major things. A year ago in rehab he would never man up to any of his mistakes or apologize for the awful behavior. He was angry for being there and resentful. This time around he is showing real guilt and remorse.... He is owning up To his actions and admits to feeling scared... His counsellors said that scared is good. That he should be afaid because that means he wants to do better. I loved this treatment center they really cared for the families and acknowledged the hell we have been through. They included us and we even have a meeting again tomorrow before he comes home to set boundaries and discuss plans of action. I pray he keeps the peace inside he has found here. He has ptsd counseling scheduled at his outpatient facility his team set him up with and I ask you all to pray that he can overcome this nightmare. I know the bad that can happen; trust me I am not sitting here believing he is a new man by any means. I am just hopeful that he has the tools to put in the work and the strength to fight!

Refiner

Sounds like this one could stick since it is HE who has chosen recovery. I, too, pray he's learning the tools to stay clean. He sure wanted to feel the real pain of what addiction does by going cold turkey through detox. I hope that memory of what he went through stays with him!

teatreeoil007

Nelly-this sure sounds like a more true change of head and heart on his part...not all rehabs are created equal...each has it's own 'feel', vision, and attitude among the staff. It's great they are including you...caring for yourself REGARDLESS of what he does is so important. Be selfish, it's okay...put your needs at the top of the list right now...this is a great time to do that as he is busy with rehab and having all his stuff addressed by professionals. Alanon and NarAnon are really life savers....it's good to know you aren't alone and you can gain strength from others...we're here too, so keep up updated. We care.