again2016

im not paying it but I guess my son gave his home address and I really have only paid for smokes in the past six months and try hard not to be the rescuer any more with money. I don't have it and I don't blame him, it is overwhelming for someone that hasn't experienced it personally, heck it is overwhelming for us so I get it, just sad

again2016

I am not paying this it is in his name , I think it was more about the reality that im not in control, my son needed narcan and was in hospital and I didn't know, he thinks I should go out of state and see my son, he doesn't understand when I say let go and let God and that I am trying to save his life from not rescuing him any more that is what I have learned thru the years I would love to see him and hug him and let him know I love him. I f I had the money I would do a weekend that way and may still. but not to save him, cause what I have learned is that I cant..............God knows I wish I could as we all do

FeelingGreat

I'm so sorry that you're feel so hopeless. It's such a conflict between the natural wish to rescue your own child, and having to stand back and do nothing. I hope you get your weekend away.

again2016

Thanks and so true! People who are not living this life don't understand, he tries but he doesn't get it.

I had my boss the other day say move out to the country and bring both kids with me and keep them in a controlled atmosphere, nice thought, would do in a minute if would work but...as I said to him, it is a nationwide epidemic and if they want the doc they will find it. does he not get that I would give my life if it would end this disease???? Really

Hechosedrugs

Again,

I am so sorry. People all think they have the answers. You are right that if he goes looking for it, he'll find it, no matter where you move him to. I am just now looking back to the time I forced my ex into rehab. Immediately after he left he gave MY bike away to his rehab roommate. His story was that the poor soul hadn't a penny to his name and needed that bike more than I did. How could I be so selfish?! I always had a niggling suspicion that he did it for drugs, but now I'm nearly positive. His roommate was further in the program than my ex and had permission to leave the facility for a few hours each day (my ex never made it that far because he convinced me to let him come home early). I bet he bought drugs in rehab with my bike as an IOU.

Yes, if they want it, they will find it.

You are doing the best thing you can for your son by stepping aside and letting him face the consequences of his choices on his own. But it's gotta be hard, and I'm so sorry. Please keep coming back whenever you need support.

You are not alone!

again2016

So I am turning 50 next month and my family wants to have a party for me. I have one child still home and he deserves to see good life and happy times for sure but for me, I don't know how to celebrate with having two in rehab/sober living. How do I laugh and celebrate? Havent had to do that yet I guess I feel selfish but I think it will make me sad but I need to show my little one im ok! my family so thoughtful and generous anyone ever feel like this?? my son Just OD and in rehab and number 2 is in sober living, how do you celebrate?? what do you celebrate?? im old as dirt, I don't need anyone telling me I already feel it. silly thoughts I guess but still mine for today I feel ungrateful to say no

FeelingGreat

Do it, enjoy it, and let your family show you they love you. You don't have to carry the burden for your children, just be there to support them as they work out how to carry it themselves.

You'll be glad you took some time out to celebrate. Plus.....presents.

Ilovemysonjj

Dear Again! Have your party and celebrate YOU! I had my 50th, and JJ showed up high. I kicked his butt right out the door and it was MY choice to either let that moment ruin my night (we had a party at our home with tons of friends, fun and DJ) OR go on with MY life.

allthatsgood

Again - my family is throwing me a (surprise?) a 60th birthday party on Saturday. I have been worried all week about it. I'm not sure if my son is clean or putting on a good show. I can't tell anymore. But I'm not going to let it ruin my day - at least that's what I'm saying now. And I certainly don't want to ruin it for my daughter and whoever else has been involved in putting the party on for me.

again2016

Thank you all good advice as always!! I want my youngest to see it is a disease but it isn't death! I have really been working on this and have given in to it. Thanks again

again2016

Update Son just out of rehab 5 days ago, surprise im home mom cause he was being evacuated due to hurricane , came home for long weekend with rich girlfriend who paid for round trip tickets for them... I get the storm but he is so fresh right out of rehab only 30 days clean this time, Dear God I pray for him. Scared me a little to be honest. girl in life is lovely but clueless to the diease and enables and pays for lots when he should be getting his life on track himself. I will enjoy the visit for sure, I miss and love him and will make the best out of the surprise but I don't seem to like surprise s anymore, lol they seem to always come with strings.............

again2016

allthatsgood, you enjoy the heck out of your party as well, please please do. Mothers have to feel the love when we can cause God knows we feel the heartache................I hope your day goes amazingly well

Hechosedrugs

I agree, allthatsgood. I haven't celebrated a birthday in years, and this last one it really hit me. Maybe it's because I was all alone- X had the kids. But I never want to go through that again. I'm tired of making excuses to not celebrate- I'm too old, there's too much going on around me, too much to do, etc. Next year I'm doing it up and surrounding myself with all the people who love me. And you should, too!

LovesToTravel

Don't pay any of his medical bills. It isn't your problem. He is an adult.

Ann

Our addicted sons can ruin our lives only if we let them. Their problems are not ours to bear. The are grown ups and can figure things out on their own.

Reclaim your home, celebrate your birthday and have fun and laugh and enjoy every moment. YOU are worth it, girl! Show your younger son what fun is all about, my guess is that he hasn't had much lately either.

Hugs

again2016

I am trying so hard and need to make sure my youngest gets fun in his life. I think he is so angry about siblings in turmoil and he does deserve it for sure ! Thanks Ann