Missmystister

I have written on here before about my twin sister who is a meth/heroin addict. When she left the house when this first started she took our fathers ashes with her to stay at one of her fellow addicts home. Well now it's been months and since she did that and she is in jail for the fourth time. Not very concerned with getting them back at all. It seems that my sister owes this woman money and the woman has ignored me trying to get them back because of that I think. I want to know what I should do to get them back. I've tried to tell her how important this is and tried to tell her how this is affecting me. But she still hasn't agreed to give them back. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with addicts like this so I'd like to know if I could get so eh advice on how to deal with this. Maybe I'm not talking to her the right way. Or if there's no talking to her, do you think there is something I can do legally?

Ann

I suggest getting a police officer and going to the woman's home and asking for them back. I suspect she won't want any trouble and will give them back quickly without a search.

That's what I'd do.

Warning her ahead of time, might get the ashes tossed or buried, I think an unannounced visit is in order and it is safe with a police officer with you.

Good luck dear.

JimC60

Missmystister,

I'll vote with Ann, an unannounced visit to the house might get your father's ashes surrendered without a fight.

Probably does not want any police wandering around in her house seeing possible evidence.

Or, if you can stand the wait.......once your sister is released from jail, will she be on probation? If so, a chat with HER probation officer could really work wonders!

Keep coming back,

Jim

AnvilheadII

brace yourself, but they may already be beyond retrieval. there isn't a lot of RESALE value in ashes of the deceased, so i don't think she's holding them as ransom for any debt. i suspect she's "ignoring" you because there is nothing to return.............there isn't some special addict speak, like Klingon.....

PuzzledHeart

She may not honestly remember where she put them, but can't gather enough of her wits to actually search for them. From her point of view, it's easier for her to stall rather than admit that she was addicted to enough to forget where she put her friend's father's ashes.

She may even say to the officer that she's completely lost them if she thinks that will get you out of the house faster, then say to your sister she was lying to you just to get you off her back, but she really DOES have your father's ashes, and once she gets to it...

When we were pre-selecting my mother's grave, my sister couldn't cope so she texted her boyfriend and completely withdrew from the conversation. She told the us and the secretary that she was texting my mom, because she was afraid of telling us that she was texting her boyfriend. She was so good at it that we almost believed her. She even went to my mom and showed her a picture of the cemetery that my mom had apparently requested. My mom's face was literally WTF just happened, but she was also so ill she was uncertain of her own memory. I had an uneasy feeling, and didn't want to accuse my sister of lying, until a co-worker asked me "Your mother, the one who quit her job so she wouldn't use a computer, knows how to text?" Yes, my sister was THAT GOOD of a liar.