kayemak222

OMG....I am so upset....my son was unresponsive early last evening, I couldn't wake him up and called 911. The ambulance came and also the police and the police searched him and found crack cocaine and pot on him and he was arrested. I feel terribly guilty. Was it legal for the police to search him and his room when the reason I called was for his unresponsiveness? I thought he was od'ing

whyme1975

I assure you that you did the right thing. He may get mad at you and he may be in a bit of trouble but calling for help is the best thing you could have possibly done for him. The courts are set up to help people. People who are arrested for drug possession are sent to drug court and this is a program set up to help addicts recover. Tough love, Mom. As a parent its your job to make sure your son makes it to the next level in life, do that no matter how hard it seems. You will be happy you did in the long run. Also, the moment you call for help, you are inviting the authorities into your home. If they see anything illegal while in your home, thats automatic probable cause to search. They are doing their job well, and you as a parent are doing yours. Now, let your son do his part of the work to get sober and don't do anything to "help" helping him will keep him sick. I've been through this with my Husband and he's been clean 2 years now. I had to call the police on him one night and it was the hardest thing I've had to do, but it worked.

Ann

I had to call 911 twice when my son overdosed. Each time he would have died if I had not called. It was lucky that I was home and discovered it in time.

Any legal consequences to his actions are minuscule compared to the fact that his life hung in the balance. These are his fault and not yours, you are a parent who saved your child's life.

Never ever feel guilty (or foolish) calling for help...for him or for yourself.

My prayers go out for your son and for your family, I know the pain you are going through.

Hugs

atalose

You 100% did the correct thing by calling 911.

Why was he unresponsive? What medical conditions does he have? Is he allergic to anything? Is he on medications? If he is a drug user, what kind of drugs? Most police/medics/ambulances now carry a drug called “Narcan” that reverses heroine overdose and without knowing the cause of his unresponsiveness they can’t really treat him properly. AND searching him for things that could potentially harm the very people called to help him, like needles, etc. is standard.

zoso77

You absolutely did the right thing. And be aware that it's not your fault he was arrested. He was the one who was holding. He was the one who was using. He was the one who overdosed. And it was the cumulative effect of the decisions he made that led him to be arrested.

Plus, if he's in the clink, he won't be using while in there...

JimC60

kayemak,

Of course you did the right thing, certainly do not feel badly about calling for help.

Think about the situation for just a second -- if anyone else had done this for your son, you would be calling them a HERO for saving your son's life!

As to the legality of the search and arrest, I cannot comment without much more information - even then I would not be positive. Your son's attorney or PD will investigate that issue.

As an aside, there are several people in my Nar-Anon group that thought that the worst thing that could happen to their addicted children was that they would go to jail. Then their kids went to jail and found their sobriety..........a blessing in disguise.

Keep coming back,

Jim

AnvilheadII

i'm sure they searched to see if they could find ANY drugs that would indicate what lead to his state. YOU thought he was od'ing on drugs. and not all OD's are treated the same.

don't overlook the fact that your son WAS using. and that drugs ARE illegal. and that he used enough to knock himself out. that is a very dangerous situation.

the sooner he has to face the consequences of his choice to use drugs, the better. i'd be very thankful to all the emergency responders who may very well have saved my son's life.

again2016

What if??? I ask myself that a million times a million ways....

Know that you are a good mom, this is a disease and the sooner he faces that and reaches out for help the safer he will be.. Never apologize for loving and probably saving the life of your son....

I have two in soberliving right now and I pray every day that they continue down the right path, what I do know is my house was not safe anymore for any of us.....They are learning how to be on there own in a program and with people in recovery Hugs to you and your family ...Stay strong.....hit a meeting, they help

MIRecovery

You may wish to remind him that this is YOUR house and HIS actions caused the problem not you. I would highly recommend you learn about codependency and enabling. The question about legality is simply not your worry.

It is time he took responsibility for his actions not you. If you do things like pay for his legal costs you are hurting him not helping him.

I lost a daughter to natural causes but belong to a child loss grief site. You would not believe how many people have lost children in their teens and twenties to overdose

fripfrop

You thought he was od'ing!What if he had been, you hadn't done anything and were sitting there now, planning his funeral, and wishing that you HAD done something?
I know which I'd rather. He should be feeling ashamed that he put his mother through that terrible panic ..not you feeling bad because you thought he was dying and did something about it.
My son is epileptic, and the panic I feel when he has a seizure is unreal...it must have been horrible for you.

MIRecovery

I'm sorry but by even asking that question you are giving him permission to bring illegal drugs into your house

PlasticInsanity

The alternative choice would be not calling - and what what do you think would have happened then? He would probably be dead.

Getting arrested sucks, but if he can learn from this, he now has the opportunity to change his life for the better.

vaya

kayemak222- I have been in the same boat as you, when I worried my son was possibly ODing. Luckily, I was able to stir him and get him to respond, so I thought he was ok. Thank God that was the case. I have thought about calling 911 but didn't, mainly so he wouldn't get arrested. That is my codependency, because I didn't want him to mess up his chances further and add to his record of arrests and convictions. Not sure it was legal for them to search, depending on circumstances of what he took and if you knew what he took, but regardless that is the consequence of his using, not because of you, and if he wasn't using, you wouldn't have had to make the call in the first place.....whatever the outcome. Jail is definitely safer than where he was, although that's hard to take. He can't use, at least as much(it's not perfect there) and you know where he is. Most importantly it gives you some peace for now if you let it.
I recently gave information to the police when my son was accused of a crime and it did lead to his arrest. I felt terrible and it was a very serious charge. He was lucky they did not prosecute and dropped the charges and I pray it will continue that way.
My AS returned here a couple of months ago after he lost his low income apt,which was a mistake. He has been steadily using. I just took him to psych hospital Friday andthey admitted him for at least a few days. I have made the decision clear to him that he cannot come back here. Even that was hard. When they are arrested and jailed it oddly makes it a little easier.
I don't know where you live, but now possession cases are a misdemeanor and they usually court order people to a program, so if they do that where you are, that may also be a blessing.
Wanted you to know I've been there, beat myself over it, but recognize it's for his own good. I have been lucky I didn't lose him when I didn't call and thought I had it under control since he could respond and got up.....Be glad your son is alive and is safer now than he was when he was using. Peace to you.

sevenofnine

ugh, i never called the cops on my xah, even when i knew him to be super high on crack and driving. didnt want to hurt my kids dads chances for employment. but even though no one got hurt, no car crashes etc, i still feel guilty for basically going along with it. i now see that ultimately if problems were to have ensued from me calling the cops, it would only have been cause he was doing the wrong thing. if at any point he called the cops on me, for example, they would never ever have had any reason to arrest me or anything at all, at THAT would not be because he called either.

addict's actions earn those nasty consequences, not you!

soberlife123

I've read about cases like this in the media. In fact, in two cases I specifically know of, when individuals cleaned up drugs before calling the cops or failed to call the cops because of fear of legal consequence they were charged with criminal negligence causing death (In both cases the individuals died) and were convicted of same.

soberlife123

That is to say you did the right thing, your son could have died but for your actions, don't feel guilty.

Delilah1

Hi Kaye,

Just checking in to see how your son is doing. I know you posted this a few weeks ago, hope he is doing okay, and that you are too.

❤️ Delilah