Counseling experience?
 

I've mentioned before that I have a mood disorder, I think. I'm in the process of revamping and strengthening my treatment. Anyway, I'm considering finding a counselor as it's been a few years. I've been told by my pdoc to seek trauma counseling but after that, I want to work on the stuff that brought me here to SR.

I wondered if any of you have had counseling in dealing with codependency/addiction of your loved ones/letting go? What should I look for? Is there a specific 'type' of counseling anyone has found helpful?

I'm thinking that I could probably use a load of help. Especially since I relate so heavily to the parents here and keep having to tell myself "I am not the parent. I'm the younger sister!"

I recently read an article about The Ranch, it is located somewhere in Tennessee (Nashville perhaps?). Along with substance abuse, the article said they also treated codependency in their family program, trauma, and personality disorders (among other things). It said they worked with most PPO's. I would be happily surprised if insurance would cover non-addiction treatment, but it may be worth a phone call. And, good for you for wanting to address the things that are keeping you from living your life to the fullest.

WeakGirl,

"......I wondered if any of you have had counseling in dealing with codependency/addiction of your loved ones/letting go?..... "

This is second hand experience so you should definitely take it with a grain or two of salt.

There is a couple who comes to my Nar-Anon group. They have two sons, both of whom are heroin addicts. At one point in their lives they had both sons plus an addicted girlfriend living in their home. Life was constant chaos for them, and they were classic codependents.

They (the parents) were seeing a counselor on a regular basis and essentially getting no where. Very early on in their relationship with the counselor, she told them they should get involved with Nar-Anon for support.

Being rational people, they reasoned, "How can a group of untrained people help us more than our "professional" counselor?" and they ignored her advice for more than a year.

In desperation, they finally made the decision and started to attend Nar-Anon. They came to the rooms and saw people that "had what they wanted." Now, they have sponsors, have both worked their steps, have sponsees of their own now and are no longer co-dependents. It should be noted that they found their recoveries at least a year before their sons. Unfortunately one son is incarcerated and will be for quite some time, the other is in good recovery, married, self-sufficient and thriving with a handsome baby boy.

Nar-Anon, Al-Anon, CoA or CR certainly will not take the place of a trauma counselor but might help you with codependency issues. It's worth a try and it's free!

Keep coming back,

Jim

Without giving too much away, I've been in counseling for a very, very long time, and I've been with my current clinician for six years. She's also an addiction specialist who works at a local hospital. I can tell you in no uncertain terms that if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have gotten through the experience with my AXGF. My clinician knew when to be tough on me, and she knew when to back off. She gave me a pretty good education on addiction and things like Borderline Personality Disorder.

That said, you can have the best clinician in the world and it won't matter if you don't do the work.

There are still times when I kick myself for some of the decisions I made when I was at my worst, but those times are becoming few and far between. None of us are perfect. Our goal, to paraphrase my clinician, is not to not make mistakes, but making sure the ones we do make are more sophisticated mistakes.

So be kind to yourself, and be patient. Wellness isn't a final destination. It's more of a journey...

I like that, Zoso. I'll have to try and remember it.

Weakgirl - That's wonderful you want to work on yourself. Sometimes, it just takes time and effort. I don't have any advice to offer especially since it'll come down to the therapy that works best for you. I only wanted commend you on your self improvement efforts. By the way, The Ranch (from cynical one's post) was recommended to my husband by my marriage counselor (at the time) and his individual therapist. My husband ultimately decided not to go, but the therapists spoke highly of the place and encouraged him to consider it. Anyway, I wanted to pass that along to you.

I think it is wise to be prepared to try a couple of therapists if the first one doesn't help. The first therapist I had was not helpful at all, she used two lines over and over that made me want to slap her..."Deal with it" and "Get Over It". I moved on and found a terrific lady who was right on the nose with suggestions and work assignments. She either studied very hard or had been through this herself, but whatever it was, she was the one that got through and helped me a lot.

Meetings helped me more than anything, it helped me not only deal with the past and present but gave me a solid foundation on which to build my future and still keeps me balanced today.

Good luck, let us know how you make out.

I searched for codependent on a local counselor listing. An older woman said she liked to deal with codependents. I liked her picture. She was close to my work. Sign me up! I went to her while I was in crisis for several months. She mostly let me rant in circles. But some of my rants cued me into how this was a lifelong behavior for me. I knew I needed some intervention myself!

I used my EAP to find a male counselor for my son. They found one close to my house with evening appointments. So my son had me go in the room with him and we had a few great sessions there. All were covered by the EAP. Months later I decided I needed help and went back alone to this guy. It was nice that I got several free sessions via the EAP too. My co-pay for counseling is $40 a session. I often came in with a list so I made the most of my time. I worked the steps during this time too and working through my past and why I respond to situations and laying groundwork for new responses was worth every penny. Every penny.

I've got some threads about my time with Mr. T and you can search for them if you like.

Thank you all for your feedback!

Jim, I definitely need to go back to meetings. There was much strength to be found there.

I'm fortunate that my insurance does cover therapy and inpatient treatment since I unfortunately have a qualifying illness. haha.

I definitely know I have to do the work to gain anything. Are any of you familiar with exposure therapy for OCD? AHHH! But, it did work. lol

I think I'm just going to hunt and peck around and see who/what I can find.

I found counseling with a psychiatrist and counselor who specializes in helping families with addiction the only type of counseling that helped me. I went alone. So that no matter what happened in my family, I would be prepared to handle it. It did help, very much.

Many counselors are surprisingly ignorant of addiction and how it affects a family. Don't waste your money if they are not well versed in the manipulation that comes with living life with an addict.