lesa

my daughter out jail on house thing..she says if she dont get her way she will use ..I got mad said you going what you going to do ..threats dont bother me you know..she got ..how should it ..sick threats and her having no respect in my home.

WeakGirl

Whether or not she decides to harm her own mind and body has nothing to do with your actions. That's a terrible attempt at manipulation. Stay strong!

Jennirey

My daughter convinced me of this once too, She still used when I let her back.. But Who am I to talk.. she is still here, and headed to rehab again tomorrow..

Ann

Hi Lesa, you sound so much stronger this time around. You know now that whether she uses or not has nothing to do with anything you do or don't do.

Her disrespect for you is an indication of her lack of respect for herself. You're just the handy target.

I think you have taken back your power, to think for yourself and not be manipulated by her threat to use. Good for you.

Keeping your daughter in my prayers.

Sending hugs and cheering you on.

lesa

thank you all so much ....many prayers to all of you ..

vaya

I thought my AS was the only one that did that until I learned threatening to use and harm themselves is a very common tactic addicts use. It is her choice to use and you are not the cause. Good for you for what you said. I've been through the drug court/house arrest thing before and it is very challenging, mostly because we feel under some obligation to make things go right since it is court ordered. Actually, your daughter is under that obligation, not you. If she uses and fails a drug test, than they can remand her back to custody. I had to constantly remind my AS how lucky he was to not be in jail custody at the time, but all he thought about was getting high. He didn't use anything that could be drug tested in the end, but his behaviors were unbearable. Addicts are very, very crafty and manipulative. This is her consequence, not yours and I'm sure you can always go back to court to ask them to find another placement for house arrest. I know this is your first time with this and are reaching out, which is great. Stay with your gut feeling that tolerating her behavior or allowing her to make you feel guilty or responsible is not the way to live. You're on the right track. Keep coming back!