How to Say "No" And Mean It.
How to Say "No" And Mean It.
Sometimes it's hard to find the words to say "no" so I thought I'd start some suggestions.
I am sorry for your problems and hope you figure something out...but I cannot help you.
I have no money. (repeat as needed)
That's too bad, but no.
You cannot live here, no. (repeat as needed)
There are consequences for your actions and I cannot interfere with the outcome...no.
I have responsibilities at work/home and cannot leave, you will have to figure something out yourself, no.
I will not lend you money, I have my own commitments to meet, no.
I cannot pay your bills, I can hardly pay my own, no.
I am unable to bail you out, no.
I will not listen to you holler in anger, no.
Anyone else? Please add your own "how to say "no" and mean it. Aw, come on, give it a shot!
I am sorry for your problems and hope you figure something out...but I cannot help you.
I have no money. (repeat as needed)
That's too bad, but no.
You cannot live here, no. (repeat as needed)
There are consequences for your actions and I cannot interfere with the outcome...no.
I have responsibilities at work/home and cannot leave, you will have to figure something out yourself, no.
I will not lend you money, I have my own commitments to meet, no.
I cannot pay your bills, I can hardly pay my own, no.
I am unable to bail you out, no.
I will not listen to you holler in anger, no.
Anyone else? Please add your own "how to say "no" and mean it. Aw, come on, give it a shot!
Suki, you never fail to bring a big smile.
Another...
Am I crazy, imagining drugs are in my house...heck NO!
Will I pay your dealer so he doesn't break your arm? NO (I've heard that one too many times).
Can you take my grocery money and do the shopping for me? NO.
If this is a hijack and I need to start another thread for this please tell me. I love the list but what do you do about drugs or alcohol in the house? I'm pretty sure I'm going home today to a stoned husband. I've told him before I'm not okay with him having drugs in the house but I'm not sure how to actually stop him (short of throwing them away, which I've done before but the searching and stuff is a co-dependent no-no, right?)
If this is a hijack and I need to start another thread for this please tell me. I love the list but what do you do about drugs or alcohol in the house? I'm pretty sure I'm going home today to a stoned husband. I've told him before I'm not okay with him having drugs in the house but I'm not sure how to actually stop him (short of throwing them away, which I've done before but the searching and stuff is a co-dependent no-no, right?)
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
I've found just saying no on the small things one at a time just to let them know they won't get everything they ask for/want AND more importantly their schtick will not work on you.
Saying no is not just one big battle, saying no is or could become a daily task(practice makes perfect). Don't have to scream or yell but by say and sticking by no a message will be sent.
Saying no is not just one big battle, saying no is or could become a daily task(practice makes perfect). Don't have to scream or yell but by say and sticking by no a message will be sent.
Suki, lol, love that list (and am stealing it for my treasures).
Thequest, you make a good point. "No" is understood as a whisper as much as a shout. Actually, shouting makes is less firm, it shows we are out of control...and therefore more easily controlled by another.
Not today, actually not anytime soon, no!
No, call 911 and see how you make out there.
Calling me names will gain you no favour...NO! And goodbye.
No, I will not do for you what you should do for yourself.
No, I will not call and tell anyone you're sick.
Cosign a loan? Ummm, NO!
Oh someone stop me, lol, so many "no's", so little time.
Thequest, you make a good point. "No" is understood as a whisper as much as a shout. Actually, shouting makes is less firm, it shows we are out of control...and therefore more easily controlled by another.
Not today, actually not anytime soon, no!
No, call 911 and see how you make out there.
Calling me names will gain you no favour...NO! And goodbye.
No, I will not do for you what you should do for yourself.
No, I will not call and tell anyone you're sick.
Cosign a loan? Ummm, NO!
Oh someone stop me, lol, so many "no's", so little time.
If this is a hijack and I need to start another thread for this please tell me. I love the list but what do you do about drugs or alcohol in the house? I'm pretty sure I'm going home today to a stoned husband. I've told him before I'm not okay with him having drugs in the house but I'm not sure how to actually stop him (short of throwing them away, which I've done before but the searching and stuff is a co-dependent no-no, right?)
When my son lived with me, this was a boundary (no drugs in my home) and I added that in my home if I suspect there are drugs being hidden, I would find them and throw them away or call the police and tell them who had them and then ask the person who brought them there to move out immediately.
If you have children, this is even more dangerous. In many states you could go to jail just for knowing the drugs were in your home...we had more than one member who had that happen.
No is a small word but very hard to say....practice makes perfect.
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