I tried to prepare for the unpreparable...and lost
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 105
I tried to prepare for the unpreparable...and lost
Hi guys,
About five months ago I was on here posting about how my boyfriend of 6 years left me when he got out of rehab. My emotions were in a frenzy and I guess in the back of my mind I assumed he would come back at some point.
Well this past weekend, my ex came home...... With his new girlfriend... To go to his new girlfriends brothers wedding. I thought I mentally prepared myself for this, but I guess I didn't because I feel a mess. I messed up and contacted him after I had talked very little to him in the last 4ish months (probably about three times total). He answered we talked about how hurt I was but he kind of went around it, and then told me he was at work and would text me later and never did. I have been through this and shouldn't be so upset but I am. And I feel like I am back to square one. I feel like I am the one with the addiction, one conversation with him and I am an emotional mess
About five months ago I was on here posting about how my boyfriend of 6 years left me when he got out of rehab. My emotions were in a frenzy and I guess in the back of my mind I assumed he would come back at some point.
Well this past weekend, my ex came home...... With his new girlfriend... To go to his new girlfriends brothers wedding. I thought I mentally prepared myself for this, but I guess I didn't because I feel a mess. I messed up and contacted him after I had talked very little to him in the last 4ish months (probably about three times total). He answered we talked about how hurt I was but he kind of went around it, and then told me he was at work and would text me later and never did. I have been through this and shouldn't be so upset but I am. And I feel like I am back to square one. I feel like I am the one with the addiction, one conversation with him and I am an emotional mess
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
So you contacted him and he answered... just long enough to get his ego stroked. He just needed to know you were still aching for him, and then he was done. I could be wrong, but I suspect this is how it went... because that's what addicts do.
Anyway, you feel like you are the one with addiction- you are! And it's time to get to work on breaking this addiction. The first step is taking it seriously- really, it must be taken as seriously as any other. Because letting him back into your life is every bit as dangerous as taking a hit of crack. Really.
Best wishes on your recovery.
Anyway, you feel like you are the one with addiction- you are! And it's time to get to work on breaking this addiction. The first step is taking it seriously- really, it must be taken as seriously as any other. Because letting him back into your life is every bit as dangerous as taking a hit of crack. Really.
Best wishes on your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I'm guessing it wasn't just this one conversation with him. It was discovering the fact he has a new girlfriend, your feeling of jealousy arose and then your inability to control your impulses made you place an irrational phone call to him hoping that sharing your hurt feelings could somehow change the entire situation and that plan didn't work out how quite how you hoped it would.
Your womb was healing and you ripped the scab right off and now it hurts all over again.
These are the painful lessons we sadly must experience in order to NOT bring that kind of hurt into our lives.
Block his # and delete it off your phone and get back to no contact. Keep reminding yourself no new contact = no new hurts.
Turn the page and begin a new chapter in your life and try not to get stuck in this one because we all know how it ends. Its time for new beginnings.
Your womb was healing and you ripped the scab right off and now it hurts all over again.
These are the painful lessons we sadly must experience in order to NOT bring that kind of hurt into our lives.
Block his # and delete it off your phone and get back to no contact. Keep reminding yourself no new contact = no new hurts.
Turn the page and begin a new chapter in your life and try not to get stuck in this one because we all know how it ends. Its time for new beginnings.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I'm sorry for the pain and the distress you're feeling. I'm not sorry that he is, for the moment, someone else's problem.
I went back and revisited your first posts and our interaction during the course of the thread. What I wrote then is still applicable today. Step back and look at this objectively. He's done you a favor.
Ann often writes about "strangely wrapped gifts". He's given you your freedom, and that qualifies as a gift. What do you want to do with it?
I went back and revisited your first posts and our interaction during the course of the thread. What I wrote then is still applicable today. Step back and look at this objectively. He's done you a favor.
Ann often writes about "strangely wrapped gifts". He's given you your freedom, and that qualifies as a gift. What do you want to do with it?
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