hopeful4

Oh honey, please don't base your entire being and sobriety on what this woman has said to you.

You and I both know, an addict is a sneaky being. They can fool even the most experienced person. You can bet your daughter is going to show them who she really is. That is sad, but it's really true. Until then, this person may have the wool over her eyes, but she won't for long.

The best thing you have given yourself if your own sobriety. Please don't let some ill informed person who does not understand addiction rob you of that.

Many, many hugs.

Jojomano123

My sponsor immediately said "you don't know who this person is!" And, she's right. But, I've heard that when Rachel got busted, she struck a deal with the cops. I have a feeling she's a snitch. That sounds very dangerous to me. So, as long as they have her information they look the other way to her drugs and prostitution.
That cop was so out of line. She was lecturing me on how to be a good mother! I'm 56 years old. I just didn't need to hear this! I was beyond offended.
I don't think I'll answer the phone if she ever calls again.

hopeful4

I think that's the right thing to do. You have told them what you know. What they do with it is up to them at this point. She may be a snitch. She may not. Ultimately, you have no control over that in any way. Pray for her.

The best thing you can do for you is maintain your own sobriety. I am glad you reached out to your sponsor.

We are here with you friend.

JimC60

JoJo,

First, welcome to the forum, you will find much support here from kindred souls.

"....My sponsor immediately said "you don't know who this person is!" And, she's right..."

Hooray for sponsors and recovering people who have learned to lean on them!

The "detective" that called you might be legitimate, might be a drug dealer, an ex-boyfriend, a collection agency or someone looking to harm your daughter. You can at least determine if the "detective" is legitimate simply by calling the police department and asking for Detective XYZ -- at least you will know.

"......the detective basically told me I was a horrible mother based on what Rachel has told her. I've never been this close to a drink in over 15 months. ...."

Persevere and don't give in to the AV!

I once heard a story, maybe here, maybe at a Nar-Anon meeting; it is very true and goes like this:

I confided in a co-worker that my daughter was a heroin addict; they told me I was a terrible parent and that I should be ashamed of my daughter and my parenting skills. A few days later, I went to a Nar-Anon meeting and told a room full of total strangers that my daughter was a heroin addict; they gave me hugs and told me to keep coming back.

I can only extend a virtual hug, but I can certainly say

Keep coming back,

Jim

PuzzledHeart

My sister has blamed me for abandoning her at age four because I learned to read. She blamed my parents for being too strict on her, and then at the same breath blames them for not being strict enough. She most likely backstabbed me for years with my relatives, and it was only when my mom got sick last year that they realized how delusional she had become.

She blames my parents for enabling her and not believing that she can support herself, and then the next moment she's asking for money.

She told me that when we heard my mom's cancer diagnosis, all she felt was peace and love, while we were filled with fear and anger, yet SHE was the one who ran away!

So I know that if I ever run into any of my sister's friends, they will most likely hate me right off the bat. But sadly and surely, they will find out for themselves what it's like to be on her side. I was once on her side, but the truth smacked me in the face and I'm still reeling from the shock of it.

But now I remind myself not to take my sister's anger personally, and for the most part it helps me right myself. What else can I do?

alcoholics wife

If alcohol was illegal and costed a fortune, there may be much more women whoring themselves for booze.

Bekindalways

Hey Jojo, I'm thinking of you and hope you are staying the course, and treating yourself with compassion.

Big hug!

Jojomano123

Thanks for thinking of me.

I had a moment last night where I thought I was truly going crazy! I'm just pissed. I investigated the detective who lectured me and she is real. She works in human trafficking. Then on Friday I find out that this old hag in AA, my old sponsor is talking $hi/ about me to everyone!! I've never done anything except fire her because she was awful. That just added fuel to my anger.
I was seeing RED.
And my sponsor says let it go.... Huh?
Don't I have the rt to confront her??? She even went to the "board" about me. What? She told people I dress provocatively!!!! Sorry, I'm pissed.

Then came Mother's Day which is a very tough day. Very tough.

So, last night I had a moment where I thought I might be going crazy!!! Lol

Oh, I got a tattoo on my foot Saturday. That helped with my anger cause it hurt like hell!!! OMG!! Ha.

Thanks for listening!!

Jojomano123

The message got buried and forgotten 😞