Please share your tips for getting off the crazy train
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 349
Please share your tips for getting off the crazy train
You would think by now I would be an expert and know the answer to my question. I can't seem to remove myself from my relationship with my son for more than a few weeks. he could care less about anything, family, friends etc as long as he has his girlfriend and her apartment. I don't know why I keep trying. I needn't find a way to stop the madness.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
Ooh- that's tough- because it's your son. I could give you an earful about letting go of an addict lover- but- ouch. I'm so sorry.
I guess the best you can do is work on your own recovery from codependency. Celebrate Recovery has worked wonders for me. Not only have I had a chance to talk about my issues, but it's given me such a support network.
Work on yourself- it's all you can do! Let him know that you love him- and that that means you cannot enable him to hurt himself.
Best wishes- you will get through this!
I guess the best you can do is work on your own recovery from codependency. Celebrate Recovery has worked wonders for me. Not only have I had a chance to talk about my issues, but it's given me such a support network.
Work on yourself- it's all you can do! Let him know that you love him- and that that means you cannot enable him to hurt himself.
Best wishes- you will get through this!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
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I don't know why I keep trying.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
Allthatsgood,
Children are the hardest to separate from, DW and I go to a therapy group monthly - the psychologist there calls this phenomena the "Mamma Bear Syndrome" although I will personally attest that the Papa Bear Syndrome also exists. Detaching from your child runs counter to all natural, instinctual impulses and everything which you have ever been told about parenting.
That being said, I have found some inner peace and tranquility at Nar-Anon.
One day at a time,
Jim
Children are the hardest to separate from, DW and I go to a therapy group monthly - the psychologist there calls this phenomena the "Mamma Bear Syndrome" although I will personally attest that the Papa Bear Syndrome also exists. Detaching from your child runs counter to all natural, instinctual impulses and everything which you have ever been told about parenting.
That being said, I have found some inner peace and tranquility at Nar-Anon.
One day at a time,
Jim
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello All that's good,
I'm glad you posted. Reaching out when you need help is a great step to get re-centered in your program.
1. Insert meetings in your life. You aren't alone.
2. Every time you want to meddle or reach out, try something else - even if it's sitting on top of your washing machine praying the serenity prayer while it runs a cycle. 25-32 minutes of calming down + clean clothes!
3. Re-read Codependent No More.
4. Read tagged threads on SR
5. Write out YOUR boundaries. Are you within them? Get there.
I'm glad you posted. Reaching out when you need help is a great step to get re-centered in your program.
1. Insert meetings in your life. You aren't alone.
2. Every time you want to meddle or reach out, try something else - even if it's sitting on top of your washing machine praying the serenity prayer while it runs a cycle. 25-32 minutes of calming down + clean clothes!
3. Re-read Codependent No More.
4. Read tagged threads on SR
5. Write out YOUR boundaries. Are you within them? Get there.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
Code Job, that is an awesome list! I am going to share it with my NarAnon group.
Allthatsgood, I am here for you and support any decisions you make that sustain your boundaries, self-care, detachment, and peace of mind.
Allthatsgood, I am here for you and support any decisions you make that sustain your boundaries, self-care, detachment, and peace of mind.
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