:(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 275
:(
There is a divine order to everything, I have felt it in a past couple of days. For those that followed my posts here, you know my 6 year marriage to heroin addicted EXAH has come to an end very suddenly. He left, cheated, we shipped him to rehab and he is completely removed from my and my girls lives. Although I am mad, sometimes, you know it comes to me, why? I mean, he was gone in 1 day.
I was married before to the most loving, caring, amazing, intelligent, unique, kind, faithful person. I was young and dumb and I took it all for granted. He suffered from bipolar depression and I didn't understand it. He started his own internet company at 23, super intelligent, genius...Things went south after our two girls were born, because, bipolar, he started drinking, suffering, I didn't get it, didn't understand it.
Anyway, he was always in my girls lives. They adored him. Yes, he never quit drinking, yes, he was suffering, re-married, but never ever ever ever abandoned his children. Made his $, paid child support, took girls every other weekend, spent quality time with them, loved them, cared for them...I felt so horrible for remarrying an addict who didn't do chit for my kids.
Three days ago the father of my children was found dead in his kitchen by his wife. He was 42
My girls are 12 and 13 and are taking it very hard. Youngest screams for him, yells, cries...Oldest is taking it in...
Today, when i was holding my crying daughter I realized. The power greater than myself removed that toxic person in my life, because the father of my children was meant to go and I was meant to be my daughter's mother, I was meant to go through this with them.
I have no other explanation
I was married before to the most loving, caring, amazing, intelligent, unique, kind, faithful person. I was young and dumb and I took it all for granted. He suffered from bipolar depression and I didn't understand it. He started his own internet company at 23, super intelligent, genius...Things went south after our two girls were born, because, bipolar, he started drinking, suffering, I didn't get it, didn't understand it.
Anyway, he was always in my girls lives. They adored him. Yes, he never quit drinking, yes, he was suffering, re-married, but never ever ever ever abandoned his children. Made his $, paid child support, took girls every other weekend, spent quality time with them, loved them, cared for them...I felt so horrible for remarrying an addict who didn't do chit for my kids.
Three days ago the father of my children was found dead in his kitchen by his wife. He was 42
My girls are 12 and 13 and are taking it very hard. Youngest screams for him, yells, cries...Oldest is taking it in...Today, when i was holding my crying daughter I realized. The power greater than myself removed that toxic person in my life, because the father of my children was meant to go and I was meant to be my daughter's mother, I was meant to go through this with them.
I have no other explanation
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
glitter...
To say I'm sorry is inadequate.
Those of us who've been around this particular block understand that addiction, unless it is fully confronted head-on with 100% commitment, ultimately leads to a premature end. And yet, when we learn of someone's passing under those circumstances, it still hits us where it hurts and it still shocks us.
The days and weeks to come are going to be very difficult for your girls. And I also expect them to be very difficult for you. The only thing you can do for your girls is let them know they're loved, and you've got their backs. None of this will make sense to them now. And speaking from personal experience, losing a parent at a young age is frankly devastating. I know and I'm confident that you'll do your best.
I hope you remember that we at FFSA have your back, glitter. We're here for you, always and unconditionally.
Your AXH, your girls, and you will be in my prayers.
To say I'm sorry is inadequate.
Those of us who've been around this particular block understand that addiction, unless it is fully confronted head-on with 100% commitment, ultimately leads to a premature end. And yet, when we learn of someone's passing under those circumstances, it still hits us where it hurts and it still shocks us.
The days and weeks to come are going to be very difficult for your girls. And I also expect them to be very difficult for you. The only thing you can do for your girls is let them know they're loved, and you've got their backs. None of this will make sense to them now. And speaking from personal experience, losing a parent at a young age is frankly devastating. I know and I'm confident that you'll do your best.
I hope you remember that we at FFSA have your back, glitter. We're here for you, always and unconditionally.
Your AXH, your girls, and you will be in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
I'm so sorry glitter. I always thought "that woman has a lot of strength in her" whenever I read your posts and you've just confirmed it. I wish you more hope and more strength for you and your family in the days ahead.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Glitter...
I am so sorry to hear of this and the pain you and your girls are going
though. I will say prayers to comfort you and your girls and here's a
tight hug, really tight, we are hear for you.
TF
I am so sorry to hear of this and the pain you and your girls are going
though. I will say prayers to comfort you and your girls and here's a
tight hug, really tight, we are hear for you.
TF
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Glitter))
so heartbreaking for little ones to lose a parent,
I know you will do your best for them, but please allow yourself time to grieve too - you will need a little time for self-care when you can fit it in.
Our granddaughter lost her mom when she was 4, she has greatly benefited from counseling to help her with the grief. I have also benefited. The counselor help me to understand children grieve differently than adults ~ for them at each age is a different understanding of the true meaning of death. So for them, it's like losing the parent all over again at each stage of comprehension.
Which is very hard on the parent (or guardian) left behind to help them heal.
gentle pink hugs to you & your precious little ones
so heartbreaking for little ones to lose a parent,
I know you will do your best for them, but please allow yourself time to grieve too - you will need a little time for self-care when you can fit it in.
Our granddaughter lost her mom when she was 4, she has greatly benefited from counseling to help her with the grief. I have also benefited. The counselor help me to understand children grieve differently than adults ~ for them at each age is a different understanding of the true meaning of death. So for them, it's like losing the parent all over again at each stage of comprehension.
Which is very hard on the parent (or guardian) left behind to help them heal.
gentle pink hugs to you & your precious little ones
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