rcutch

I have come to that crossroad where I must make a very difficult situation. I have been married to my AH for 21 years. We have raised 3 beautiful daughters - there have been clean years and there have been bad years. Our oldest is current planning a wedding scheduled for December. Our middle graduates from high school in June and our baby is about to turn 16. We are in a year of milestones -I think I am about to reach my milestone. My AH has tried numerous times to get clean in the past 2 years. Today I feel like we are in "Get Clean - Take 100". He has slept for 6 days straight and will start to return to life tomorrow. He is working no program, changes no behavior, just simply says "I'm done this time because I am sick of it"... until the next dealer calls. He has had 3 major back surgeries and does suffer, however he does nothing to help with the pain other than pop pills - so I don't see this changing anyway.

With all of that being said, I went to an attorney last week to see what options I had. I believe that I am about to file for divorce and file a petition to have him removed from the home. I know this is going to be an uglier battle than I have ever fought. I won't leave my home because I pay for everything here, can remain here, and if I walk out I will lose it all - add on top that my office is from home. I have been doing an online program called Lover Over Addiction and it says not to leave the addict unless you know that you are really done. Take time to get healthy, strong, and prepare for battle. Guess that's what I'm planning to do.

Just needed to share my thoughts, make them real, and do my best to commit to this change. Prayers are greatly appreciated!

Bekindalways

Hi Rcutch, sounds like this has been a long time coming. Glad to hear you talked to a lawyer. Just keep taking that next right step to the best of your abilities.

I so hope you have a good support network of friends and go to alanon (if it is your thing). Please do everything you can to take care of yourself: eat well, exercise, take time to do something fun.

Dee, in the forums for alcoholics, always tells posters to get a plan and there is a link to an outline. There should be one for Codies leaving addicts. Hmmm . . . there probably are plans for working up to a divorce.

hopeful4

I just want to send you support and strength. I know for myself, once I actually made the decision, and filed, the relief was immense.

You have to think with your brain, not your heart. It sounds like you have really thought this out, and gotten good legal advise.

Sending you lots of strength during this time!

hopepraylove

sending you strength and compassion during this difficult time. You sound strong and ready. XX