Can I vent a little?
 

Oh, family. I want to laugh and then it’s not very funny. EXAH is in rehab where I have once again sent him. Somewhere in Nevada, on my insurance, for which I pay, of course. I have filed for divorce and now he has to sign a waiver (the easiest way and quickest). I maintain no contact, because I know in my heart, I will be hurting by what he has to say. No contact is the best. His mother is mediating between us - I want the waiver signed and she wants her son to have insurance for as long as possible, so that he can be getting luxurious treatments across the US on my dollar. And, of course, she doesn’t want him back in the area because then she would have to take care of him.

So anyway. After fighting with her and her going back to him, we have agreed that he is going to sign my waver, and I will keep him on insurance until January (so he has 10 months to get it together). She will pay half and I will pay half. I am stuck with his car debt and many others debt for which I be paying for a long time.

I have not told many people about my divorce because, honestly, he has been in rehab 4 times and I just want to get it done. I don’t want to get any pity (I stayed with him for 6 years, u know?), or opinions, I am just going through the process, once i get it done then I will announce. Well, apparently, his mother bought him a phone and send it to Nevada (they are not even supposed to have phones there). We have some family members in common on FB, although, I have deleted as much as I could. Mutual friends. So he posts something like - I am currently in Las Vegas, training this up and coming boxer (my ex used to box from the age of 7 to the age of 12, he is currently 36 and haven’t boxed, like really boxed, i don’t know in many years?). So, he is apparently in Las Vegas and he is moving to San Francisco to promote this new boxer and thank you to HIS MOTHER for everything she has done and also to me, the ex who WAS supportive, but not anymore.

Ok, you are sitting in f-g rehab for which I pay, you are not even out of detox yet, then you are going to sober house for 6 months to California. What fighter? What promotion? So, of course, I have all these friends calling and asking - oh, your husband moved for a new job and you are not supporting him and are you getting a divorce?

One one side its funny. I mean really. You just almost died of yet another relapse. You are sick and on all kinds of pills. You cheated on me and left me like a piece of dirt. And now you are getting treatment for which I pay. Be humble a-hole, be quiet, get well or something!

I am not reacting, just here, with you guys :) Thanks for letting me share :)

:c004:

I read these things and wonder exactly what kind of booze these people drink? Because I mostly recall shame, worthlessness, and depression...apparently I missed out on delusions of grandeur and field trips to fantasy town?

Lordy. What a piece of work.

Glitter - keep your head up. You are doing the right thing by walking away. Focus on yourself and your own happiness and health. I know it's hard when it's shoved up in your face. I'm experiencing a similar thing with my EXBFA. He's "sober" for 4 months (who knows if he is actually working on his recovery), in a relationship with a girl he got pregnant (ALREADY! and good luck with that!), started a new business and surrounded his business and himself with his old drinking/drug buddies. Of course, everyone is praising him for "getting better" and "starting a new chapter in his life" (without me whom they all hated). Little do they know that addicts have specific patterns and these patterns ALWAYS repeat themselves. Really makes you want to bang your head against a wall, doesn't it?? Silly, silly people... all drinking the same Kool-Aid. Chin up! Head up! You've got this!

PS- feel free to vent away... that's what we're here for. :)

Glitter he got a very good deal out of you; rehab, paying off HIS debts, and he's not overflowing with gratitude to you. Sounds like the relationship with his M could be the reason he feels so entitled, but once you're out of the picture I doubt either of them will feel better off.

Only a nine months now. Hang in there.

You have come so far and I'm so very happy for you. Not the part about paying to remove him from your life but that you are moving forward towards healing and more peaceful times. It's a nightmare that ends when we MAKE it end.

Blessings to you during this time. He didn't define you.
Hugs
Joie