Vleavitt

Every day seems to be getting a little harder is that normal for the wife of an addict??
He has been clean for about a week now, he is out of jail so we will see.. My heart still really hurts but in a way our marriage seems to be getting a little better but I think it might still be to early to say for sure...
I would like to thank every body the help I really wish I would have known about this website a long time and it has been very helpful.
This is a very hard thing to handle and people that do not have and addict in there famil will never understand the hurt. It it so nice to have people to talk to that know what it like so THANK YOU SO MUCH

teatreeoil007

Yes, it's hard, for sure! Not your imagination. Early recovery is a rocky ride for everyone in the addict's life and for the addict. The brain is basically trying to recovery from a head injury. He's likely not sleeping all that great and that alone can make a person very hard to live with. He is probably very irritable and grouchy too. Who wants to be around someone like that for very long, let alone live with them. It's like a major overhaul for everyone and while overhauls are needful, you feel like your life is being turned upside down during the process. Hang in there ... you're right it's still too early to tell how this is all going to go. It's like you want to patient and everything, but also feel resentful that his addiction is putting you all through this in the first place. You want to be helpful and supportive without being enabling. That can feel like a fine line sometimes and hard to know if you're getting it right. If I were in your shoes I would try very hard to focus on taking care of you, set firm boundaries and hold them and don't allow your addict to blame-shift to you. You didn't cause this. I am sure others will be along with more help and support.

Ann

Teatreeoil said it well, even clean there are often many struggles. It's a huge adjustment for them, chemically in the brain and learning how to handle life on life's terms....which makes it difficult for those living with them and who love them.

Keep working on your own recovery, find your balance every day and just do what you need to do to keep your life healthy and chaos free.

Hugs