faithnlove13

So my husband called me yesterday from.rehab and we had a nice chat until i told him his cousin was working for his friend which now he is worried his friends will know about his use which they already know and that one of his old dealers were telling his same cousin all of my husbands business and he blew up sayinf he can not return to our hometown after recovery that he will stay where he is now. So i asked okay sooo what about me an our kids and his reply was i dont know...umm really? He is blaming me his family for his addiction and doesnt want to face his past and is scared of it and said he cant relapse if he comes back to the same stuff...i told him i woul pack our things and find us a house so when he got out he had a place and he said i just dont get it....i got mad and said well it seems like tour unhappy and we need to go our own ways and he got mad and said no ...im confused does rehab make you have ups and downs? Why is he acting like this..he is three months in recovery but six months clean..one day its i love u next its im not sure if i can get past everything because i nagged to much...im lost i have done nothing but stood by him through his use and sure i own up to nagging about his using,no job,bills,etc but im the bad guy when he has done more damage than i have ever done .

Ann

I'm not sure how long he has been in rehab, but it's not unusual for their emotions to be raw especially in the early days. That doesn't justify blowing up at you, it just suggests that in time he may calm down and become capable of putting a good plan for a sober life together.

You don't need to walk on egg shells. This might be a good time for you to decide what YOU want, how and where YOU want to live and then express your wishes to him to see if he cares to join you.

Rehab is not a guarantee of anything, what it does is give them tools to cope with life on life's terms. Whether they choose to use those tools or relapse is a decision that will decide whether he will continue on a good path or go back to his old ways.

This isn't easy for you or anyone. A good reason why both sides of recovery take it one day at a time.

Hugs

JOIE12

I agree with Ann. We tend to make our plans based upon what the addict or addict in recovery, wants to do. It needs to become important to make OUR OWN plans for ourselves and our children - and if he cleans up and stays clean and a productive member of the family - He can check in when he is out.

Stand strong !
Hugs
Joie