glitterdeva

Hello, family. I am hoping someone dealt with this before. AH, h user has been gone for close to 48 hours. Got recently fired from one job, just got an amazing opportunity and its 5 min away from our house last week. I, of course, sent out his resumes, made him go to interviews, etc. Anyway, he is off to the races, I am sure job is gone. He is driving a car registered to my name. I am scared that he is either OD'd somewhere (but someone will call me then right?) At what point can I report him missing and also report my car missing? If we are married, but have a separation agreement, where it says both cars are mine (since he cant pay for anything), can I report the car stolen? Has anyone done it before? I am 100% not letting him back, no way, we have been through these for 5 years. It's getting worse and worse and when you think it cant get worse, it does. I tried everything else, but all my help makes him worse. I just dont know what i should do next and I am scared

faithnlove13

Been there!, if you are in Tx they wont do anything about the car but a missing persons report has to be 12 hour. At least it was for my husband when he was mising. Have you checked hospitals or jails first? Dont mean to scare you but always look there first.

glitterdeva

Checked jail and there are like 14 hospitals in DC, and he can also be in Maryland or who knows where But wont they call me from hospital or no?

faithnlove13

It depends, when my husband was missing they never called i did a missing persons report and the report was sent to all the hospitals and then the officer got a phone call from them saying he was in er....but with him being gone that long they would have called by now due to his ID i would think. If I were you I would do a missing persons report if you cant reach him....this may sound crazy but do you have tracking on his phone?this was another thing I had to do.

glitterdeva

He left his phone at his new job so I can't track him. He is very resourceful when it comes to his mama heroin I am torn between - I dont want to do anything ( because this has got to stop and the only person who can stop it is me) and shouldn't I at least find out if he is alive? His id is from a different state, with previous address, so I dont know how they would even find me. My hope is that he is again in jail, that would be the best case for me

faithnlove13

I know what you are going through, my husband is a meth addict and disappeared for three days cone hone to sleep then off again. They put us through so much and dont relize how bad it effects us....Maybe see if he comes around and if he doesnt show by the weekend then call in as missing person.

Hawkeye13

You may be liable for any damages he does in your car if you don't report it stolen glitter.

Glad you are ready to get off the crazy train at last--
It's been a long, terrible ride for you and your kids.
I hope it is OK but please take care of you--he seems to take care of himself.

StormyWeather33

If he is in jail, the car has probably been towed and will be racking up storage fees. Since the car is in your name, you'll be responsible for those fees. Ugh... so sorry you're going through this!

glitterdeva

Well, I finally called the cops! They came and I explained that we are separated, but he still lives here, he stole my car and has been gone for 2 days, driving high on heroin. He called his mother apparently (36 year old man calling mama) and said that he is dying and needs to go to rehab and can he please come here to my house and then go to rehab from here. I said absolutely no way.

Cops said that they cannot do anything. Nothing. Can't get my car. If he shows up and hits me then yes, call them back. Otherwise, they cant even remove him from the house EVEN IF HE IS HIGH AND THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE. They said "laws changed in VA and half of everything is HIS".

He doesn't know any of this. His mother told him that cops are out to get him to get the car and arrest him for stealing it. So he thinks that his only option is to go to rehab and return the car. I lied to his mother and she communicated the lie to him that if he doesnt return the car, I will press charges.

Dont know what else to do. But I will fight this until the end. i want my freedom

atalose

What does your legal separation papers say? If the vehicles are in your name and it states that on the separation papers then file a report even if it’s a self reporting report, to state that the car was taken without the owner’s consent.

Cops are not lawyers so I would suggest you talk with your attorney asap regarding who is responsible for any injuries or deaths that may occur while he has your vehicle.

This is all about covering yourself and your interests.

hopeful4

I agree with atalose. And I would call and ask to speak to someone higher on the totem pole with the police.

glitterdeva

Thank you! I am meeting with an attorney on Monday. I felt so out of it that I didn't even know what to say. Me and my children are ready to call the police again if she shows up here before I meet with my lawyer. I guess I have to wait and see what he says, as I was for sure that the police will at least do something . Maybe I can file some emergency motion on Monday.

The good thing is that I did it. It took me 6 years. I am ready to let him fall and suffer the consequences of his actions. I also think that there is a woman involved, but I am not totally sure.

zoso77

glitter...

Sorry this is happening. atalose offers some sage advice, and my hope is you take it to heart.

I'm sure your stomach is doing flip-flops at the moment Please keep us posted.

hopeful4

Glitter...that sounds like a solid plan. Many hugs, I am super proud of you!

glitterdeva

that's what I was thinking too - there must be some sort of report I can file. Honestly, its all noise. I mean, yes, its very serious, the car. But he has been driving it for 3 years, getting high, getting tickets, etc. I have to also face my consequences for signing for this car. The most important thing is that I got off this crazy train. I feel that good things will come out of this eventually. Its just very hard right now.

Hawkeye13

Be strong for you and your kids.
You can do it

glitterdeva

Today is hard. I went back to school, have 2 exams coming up. I don't know what to do - quit school until I put myself together or pull through this hell. He showed up at his moms work with some junkiee, said that he doesn't remember being gone for 3 days, thought it was a day and that he will go to rehab if I let him back. She said no. He said he is going to die then and left. She is pressing me - he will die without you.

He has a car and insurance, and she has a house where he can stay. Why is this on me? He has not reached out to me, no text, no call, nothing. I am trash to him, nobody. Last I heard was on Tuesday at 10 am - I love you, see at at 2, have a good day, love you too. And its gone. This is addiction - boom, and your life is doing 360 on yo. Everything upside down. And you question your sanity. Is this me? Am I insane?

I feel crazy, family. Not stable mentally. I know I did the right thing. But really, I didn't even do anything. I just set a boundary that he can't come back here. First time called the cops. I guess whats killing me is that - he completely dropped me, his wife, his family, job, all in one day. With no care.

I know its for the better, but my head is spinning.

PuzzledHeart

glitterdeva, you have to protect your children. His mom, as misguided as she is, is trying to protect her son.

Same motivation, but different outcome.

I am on this board because of my sister. My sister has endured much childhood trauma. I had my share, but she ended up with a much bigger portion. She ended up turning to drugs and really lousy relationships to fill the void.

I used to be her defender, especially when it came to my parents, but this past year put everything to a head. I realized that there was no way I could ever help my sister unless she came to her own realization that her choices were dragging her down. I realized that she was a compulsive liar and would say anything to anybody to defend herself (I drove myself insane keeping track of all the lies and crap she spewed out last year. ). I realized that all the attention and love in the world would never fill the void that she feels in her heart. As long as she clings onto her delusions and fantasies, and refuses to create her own path to recovery, my efforts and the efforts of others mean absolutely nothing.

Every day I struggle with the guilt I feel for cutting her off. Every day I struggle with the anger I feel towards her for making such destructive choices, especially when it affects others. But I try to focus my energy now on my mom, who has cancer, and my own family, which includes my sister's daughters.

Being on this board has attuned me to all the tricks drug addicts play in order to sustain false solace. I can't be a member of that game anymore.

It sounds like you've made the same decision.

ardy

glitter babe we hold you tight .. so many of us have been through the same path.. prayers Ladies circle tight .. Father in Heaven Goddess to the left of Him.. Hear our cries.. help this Dear Lady .. guide her path.. hold her and children tight... have the best of your light come down and show her the path to take.. so many of us ask this from our hearts and souls for Our Sister in Pain.. please dear Father and Goddess hear our prayers...

Bekindalways

Love this Ardy. It makes me laugh although I agree with it wholeheartedly!!!

Glitter, I don't know if you are a believer but I would like to join Ardy in calling down legions of angels on you and your family. (If you prefer good juju, pixie dust, The Force, I will pray for that too!)