CaringScared

After months of no contact, I have talked to my ex a few times this past week--hours-long conversations (which is kind of weird, when he's in active use he usually doesn't have hours for chit-chat).

Don't worry, I have no plans to see him and I feel pretty calm in my life and actually excited for this new chapter--I'm in a good place.

But I'm sad for him. His lows are so low. We spoke briefly today and he could barely talk. When I said, "How are you?" he said, "Lonely."

I am getting better at not feeling his feelings, if that makes any sense--I empathize but I don't feel as responsible for it and as if his being sad means I have to be. At the same time, what a hell of a disease. It is truly a beast.

The world is a mysterious place.

Bekindalways

Yes it is a hell of a disease. I actually wish we had a more negative word than disease to describe it. Sometimes these folks do seem like the walking dead. It is so incredibly tragic.

Big, big hug to you Caringscared. You are doing the right thing.

CaringScared

Thank you, Bekindalways. Agree. I have to remind myself that there IS hope. Really important to distance yourself when necessary though and it's good to not feel guilt. I agree with Cynical One's points. He didn't make me feel guilty, I made me feel guilty.

greeteachday

This makes perfect sense to me and demonstrates progress on your side of things. It can be sad to see what the disease does for sure, but there is a huge difference between acknowledging that feeling and living in a bad place because he is in a bad place. Good for you!