happy new year, and btw your husband uses meth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 7
happy new year, and btw your husband uses meth
New Year's morning I woke up early to watch the sun rise and found my husband in the backyard in our greenhouse with a little bag of crystals on the floor next to him. I have never seen meth in real life, but I knew instantly that's what it was. For months I had noticed weird behavior, but I chalked up the insomnia, impulsivity, and irritability to his ADHD. Then BOOM. It all made horrible sense. I'm devastated, flattened, confused, heart broken. But I've been listening to my wiser self and taking care of myself and doing things that bring me peace and balance. But I haven't talked to anyone about this, and it is eating me alive. We've been together 10 years, and never in a million would I have thought he was using meth. This pain is what brought me to this post, my very first post ever, anywhere. I would love a friend right now. I'm 35, no kids, Atlanta if that makes a difference. Thank you all for reading this, my prayers to you all as well
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I would love a friend right now.
The good news is you've come to a really, really good place. Our other members will be by to greet you and offer you support. Meth addiction is outside of the realm of my knowledge base, but we do have members that have both been where you are, and have been where your AH is, too. When they share with you, pay close attention.
What I will say is something I say often to women such as yourself who are confronted by their husband's addiction issues. When the two of you got married, the tacit agreement inherent in your vows was neither him or you would engage in behavior that would undercut the viability and vitality of the marriage. By both feeding and hiding his addiction, he broke that tacit agreement. Based on that, any and all options in terms of how you handle this should be on the table. You have the right to protect yourself, and where your AH is using meth, you need to be cognizant of the risks to you, both emotional and physical.
Anyways, hang around. We're here for you. And again, Welcome to the Board.
NB: Was down where you are for Christmas. Hopefully the bad weather down there is over for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,980
Welcome Nathaliejane. I hope you find plenty of support here. This is a devastating situation to be in. You are very wise to be focusing on your own needs and peace of mind. Please come often and post lots.
Many years ago, I left a 5 year relationship because he got into Meth. We weren't married or even living together. Also I did see it coming as my XAB was native American and had alcoholic parents but I assumed it would be alcohol not meth. Leaving him was probably the hardest and most constructive thing I have ever done in my life.
Many years ago, I left a 5 year relationship because he got into Meth. We weren't married or even living together. Also I did see it coming as my XAB was native American and had alcoholic parents but I assumed it would be alcohol not meth. Leaving him was probably the hardest and most constructive thing I have ever done in my life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 731
Just saying "hello" and "welcome." This place is a life saver....I've ran out of people to talk to as I began to sound like a broken record.
My husband is a meth addict. He was sober for 12 years before I met him. We married after dating for 3 years. I naively thought "he has this." Big mistake.
I also caught him smoking meth, in our office, after a series of months of irritability, anger and avoidance. Then my questions were answered. So that's why! I wasn't crazy.
He relapsed 6 months into our new marriage; went to rehab on his own...and did well until a vacation in which arguement turned into a nightmare and relapse and escorts (new).
I wish I could say this is easy; or rehab cures it. NOPE.
It's ALL up to the addict we are just on their roller coaster. Until we choose to get off. I am off. He is gone. Adios.
Stick around here. Read the stickys. Ask and read.
My husband is a meth addict. He was sober for 12 years before I met him. We married after dating for 3 years. I naively thought "he has this." Big mistake.
I also caught him smoking meth, in our office, after a series of months of irritability, anger and avoidance. Then my questions were answered. So that's why! I wasn't crazy.
He relapsed 6 months into our new marriage; went to rehab on his own...and did well until a vacation in which arguement turned into a nightmare and relapse and escorts (new).
I wish I could say this is easy; or rehab cures it. NOPE.
It's ALL up to the addict we are just on their roller coaster. Until we choose to get off. I am off. He is gone. Adios.
Stick around here. Read the stickys. Ask and read.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 7
Colt is refusing rehab and has chosen to leave the house. I just wrote him a letter that no matter where his travels take him, he knows that I'll be right here waiting for him. But he needs to agree to go to inpatient program.
I'm having a really hard time right now... my body aches with grief and my heart is catastrophically wounded. I keep thinking about all the "lasts" we had... the last snuggle, the last time we fell asleep to L&O, SVU, the last hike through the woods with our dog, the last inside joke we took way too far until we'd both laugh and give up, the last time we kissed.... I'm so full of grief that some of these times I don't even remember. I wish I had known so I could have sucked that precious moment in deeper.... One time, though, I did a hugging meditation with him where the first time you hug, you think about the other person's mortality, and you are present in the knowledge that one day, they will cease to live. The second hug, you think about your own mortality, and how you too will one day die. The third hug, you feel the oneness of being with that person, in that moment, on this earth. I do remember that meditation with him, how big and strong he felt and how delicious his warmth was. He smelled so familiar and safe to me, like campfires and wood and soap. I miss that desperately, so terribly
I'm having a really hard time right now... my body aches with grief and my heart is catastrophically wounded. I keep thinking about all the "lasts" we had... the last snuggle, the last time we fell asleep to L&O, SVU, the last hike through the woods with our dog, the last inside joke we took way too far until we'd both laugh and give up, the last time we kissed.... I'm so full of grief that some of these times I don't even remember. I wish I had known so I could have sucked that precious moment in deeper.... One time, though, I did a hugging meditation with him where the first time you hug, you think about the other person's mortality, and you are present in the knowledge that one day, they will cease to live. The second hug, you think about your own mortality, and how you too will one day die. The third hug, you feel the oneness of being with that person, in that moment, on this earth. I do remember that meditation with him, how big and strong he felt and how delicious his warmth was. He smelled so familiar and safe to me, like campfires and wood and soap. I miss that desperately, so terribly
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 214
What a shock for you. There must be a lot of emotions right now. Did he open up to you regarding his use before he left? I feel for what your going through, but agree he needs treatment. He now has at least one consequence from his using - how it broke his relationship, heres hoping he will think deeply about his situation. Ive recently found myselff using exercise to help me release my tensions. Meditation and yoga give me a calm too.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
