Codependent brain on overdrive tonight

Old 12-07-2015, 05:51 PM
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Codependent brain on overdrive tonight

My AXBF had his last final for school today. He finally moved out in October after many failed attempts to find recovery in rehab (in and out patient) and with meetings. I was there through it all. When he had his last relapse and moved out to his parents, he has stayed with me to attend school as his parents live 2 hours away. It has been very volatile he has continued to drink and get high while here and so our relationship has been very bad. I knew it was a mistake, but I also knew that he had no other place to stay and he would fail out of school if it was left to his parents. The last time I saw him was Friday. He has been drunk and high for days. Frankly, I was surprised he showed up at all today for his last test.

His school information is on my computer. So I looked to see if he showed up and took his last exam. He did, and got 2 B and 1 A for the semester. He never called me when he was here today. He just texted he was in town and going to class which I assumed was a lie.

I know its stupid, but I am so mad. I have put up with hell and have been there for him. He could not even bother to call me and tell me his grades. He is completely ignoring me right now. I guess he is "celebrating" since he could sell his books.

I just needed to vent so I dont go into crazy angry text mode. It does go to show that 1. Addicts are not stupid and 2. They will use you for their needs. I figure he does not need me anymore and so I am disposable He has a 3 week break before next semester. He does not have a job and no money. His parents will let his stay there. I have no idea if he is signing up for next semester or transferring to a school closer to his parents.

I guess he can just use his student loan money for crack and alcohol and go to school. What a perfect life for an addict.
OWL -- feeling a little crazy right now!!!!
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:13 PM
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Here's a little piece of wisdom from someone who's been around the block a few times.

Never personalize what the addict is doing. What he does or doesn't do isn't about you. It's about him. He would behave this way towards anyone, because that's what addicts do.

In the meantime, considering your in FLA, take a moment to be grateful that you don't have to put up with the winter that is knocking on my front door.
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:46 PM
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Zoso - It is super beautiful out tonight. And I know you are right. Its not personal, just frustrating and hurtful. I think not seeing or talking to AXBF is for the best. I just need to let him go.
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