Older Brother Addicted to Oxycotin
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 1
Older Brother Addicted to Oxycotin
So i'll keep it long story short.
My brother is a pothead. No big deal. We're from california. My brother is hearing impaired (deaf) so he basically commits his whole life to growing weed in the house and getting geeked out about hydroponics because its hard for him to get a job with a disability.
Since he's hearing impaired, it makes it really easy for me to spy on him and detect if he's lying to me or acting erratic by reading his body language. The only reason I spy on him is because I remember he would be in the bathroom at 3 am for an hour.. thinking I was asleep but im actually on my iphone.
I would hear him snorting something, and then he would come out of the bathroom super rushed, like a sudden rush of adrenaline or energy and he would use that to get started on working with his plants, cleaning the dishes, wiping the floor, organizing the house. So it was no big deal until the next morning.. I find him vomiting in the sink, super pale and fatigued. He looked horrible.
So thats when I knew he had a drug problem. But what do I do?
After a while, I managed to stand up and say something about it. That's when he lied to me and tried to play it off and took it as if I was insulting him and his personality. I wasn't having any of his ********.
Anyway, one morning he finally confessed to me.
I have a problem. Im addicted and I need help. I've been using heroin, oxycodeine for three years.
He said he doesnt use heroin anymore, but he has a problem with oxy. He tried to stop and he couldn't handle the withdrawals. I remember he actually quit cold turkey and I could hear him moaning and shivering like if he was dying from the flu. He was so pale and he just couldn't get out of the bed. This was bad..
so the good thing is that he admitted to me he had a problem.
my question to you is..
What do I do?
I tried telling my parents, and they found the perfect rehab place for my brother. But the problem is, my brother doesn't want to go to rehab.
He made up the lamest excuse too. "I don't want to go to rehab because they will give me pills to counteract the toxins in my body and then I'll get addicted to those pills"
I just said ok.. and reassured him that I will do my best to help him. We'll make a schedule, go to the gym, drink plenty of water and drink vitamin pills. Stuff like that.
But really, I was just trying to buy time to get him into rehab.
So when I told my parents..
**** hit the fan.
My mom simply tried to tell him that she has a plan, and she consulted with doctors and that this place would be perfect for him.
But my brother went crazy and hurt everyone emotionally by saying stuff he wouldn't normally say. It was like someone else was in my brothers body. He wasn't even my brother anymore. He's just not the same...
He claimed that I was making **** up and that I was lying and he never really confessed to me.
My parents believe me of course, but now we're at the problem where.. okay he doesn't want to go to rehab, what do we do?
SO now, I don't live with my brother anymore. I moved in with my parents because I don't like having the smell of weed on me all the time and knowing he's high on oxy and theres nothing I can do about it.
What should I do?
He comes over my parents house every other day to visit and he has a closet/storage room here where he keeps his stuff. So it sucks when he comes over because he's usually high as a kite and he thinks that we're stupid and don't notice. We just don't want him to go crazy and explode again. He'll never talk to us again and he'll rip apart the family.
What should I do? I've been reading many similar stories, although mine is pretty unique because my brother is hearing impaired, but nevertheless, my parents OWN the house he lives in. He just pays the bills. Do you think it would be a good idea to kick him out of the house and encourage him to go to rehab and we'll pay for everything??
or what?
please help..
sincerely,
a young teenager with a 24 yr old brother with drug addiction
My brother is a pothead. No big deal. We're from california. My brother is hearing impaired (deaf) so he basically commits his whole life to growing weed in the house and getting geeked out about hydroponics because its hard for him to get a job with a disability.
Since he's hearing impaired, it makes it really easy for me to spy on him and detect if he's lying to me or acting erratic by reading his body language. The only reason I spy on him is because I remember he would be in the bathroom at 3 am for an hour.. thinking I was asleep but im actually on my iphone.
I would hear him snorting something, and then he would come out of the bathroom super rushed, like a sudden rush of adrenaline or energy and he would use that to get started on working with his plants, cleaning the dishes, wiping the floor, organizing the house. So it was no big deal until the next morning.. I find him vomiting in the sink, super pale and fatigued. He looked horrible.
So thats when I knew he had a drug problem. But what do I do?
After a while, I managed to stand up and say something about it. That's when he lied to me and tried to play it off and took it as if I was insulting him and his personality. I wasn't having any of his ********.
Anyway, one morning he finally confessed to me.
I have a problem. Im addicted and I need help. I've been using heroin, oxycodeine for three years.
He said he doesnt use heroin anymore, but he has a problem with oxy. He tried to stop and he couldn't handle the withdrawals. I remember he actually quit cold turkey and I could hear him moaning and shivering like if he was dying from the flu. He was so pale and he just couldn't get out of the bed. This was bad..
so the good thing is that he admitted to me he had a problem.
my question to you is..
What do I do?
I tried telling my parents, and they found the perfect rehab place for my brother. But the problem is, my brother doesn't want to go to rehab.
He made up the lamest excuse too. "I don't want to go to rehab because they will give me pills to counteract the toxins in my body and then I'll get addicted to those pills"
I just said ok.. and reassured him that I will do my best to help him. We'll make a schedule, go to the gym, drink plenty of water and drink vitamin pills. Stuff like that.
But really, I was just trying to buy time to get him into rehab.
So when I told my parents..
**** hit the fan.
My mom simply tried to tell him that she has a plan, and she consulted with doctors and that this place would be perfect for him.
But my brother went crazy and hurt everyone emotionally by saying stuff he wouldn't normally say. It was like someone else was in my brothers body. He wasn't even my brother anymore. He's just not the same...
He claimed that I was making **** up and that I was lying and he never really confessed to me.
My parents believe me of course, but now we're at the problem where.. okay he doesn't want to go to rehab, what do we do?
SO now, I don't live with my brother anymore. I moved in with my parents because I don't like having the smell of weed on me all the time and knowing he's high on oxy and theres nothing I can do about it.
What should I do?
He comes over my parents house every other day to visit and he has a closet/storage room here where he keeps his stuff. So it sucks when he comes over because he's usually high as a kite and he thinks that we're stupid and don't notice. We just don't want him to go crazy and explode again. He'll never talk to us again and he'll rip apart the family.
What should I do? I've been reading many similar stories, although mine is pretty unique because my brother is hearing impaired, but nevertheless, my parents OWN the house he lives in. He just pays the bills. Do you think it would be a good idea to kick him out of the house and encourage him to go to rehab and we'll pay for everything??
or what?
please help..
sincerely,
a young teenager with a 24 yr old brother with drug addiction
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR, I am glad you found us. There are many here recovering from addiction who also live with disabilities, and there is help available that would accept him even though he is deaf.
The thing is, disabled or not, if they don't want to find recovery, there isn't much any of us can to to "make" them. We have all tried, and if love could save our addicted family members, not one of us would be here.
Is there anyone from the hearing impaired support centres who could talk to him, or perhaps there are meetings in your area that he may find acceptable?
I don't have answers for you, but I have support because i know the pain of watching someone we love, self-destruct.
I hope you find the support you want and need for yourself here.
Hugs
The thing is, disabled or not, if they don't want to find recovery, there isn't much any of us can to to "make" them. We have all tried, and if love could save our addicted family members, not one of us would be here.
Is there anyone from the hearing impaired support centres who could talk to him, or perhaps there are meetings in your area that he may find acceptable?
I don't have answers for you, but I have support because i know the pain of watching someone we love, self-destruct.
I hope you find the support you want and need for yourself here.
Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,358
Hi and welcome jaqlo 
Yeah trying to get someone into rehab if they don't want to go is pretty difficult.
There are other options tho - your brother could check out NA or some other recovery group, he could see his doctor and come clean about his drug abiuse...he could be referred to drug counselling...
you could even suggest a place like this for him to post for himself
The important thing for you to remember is - this is not your problem to fix - love your brother, support him in what ever way you think fit, but you cannot make him better - that's something he needs to do for himself.
You can definitely look after yourself tho - organisations like Nar-anon can help too, giving you support and guidance
What's Nar-Anon? ? Nar-Anon Family Groups
My disability is different and the drugs I used where not the same, but I was in your brothers shoes once - then, I had an aha moment and I got clean and stayed that way, so it is possible - don't lose hope
D
Yeah trying to get someone into rehab if they don't want to go is pretty difficult.
There are other options tho - your brother could check out NA or some other recovery group, he could see his doctor and come clean about his drug abiuse...he could be referred to drug counselling...
you could even suggest a place like this for him to post for himself
The important thing for you to remember is - this is not your problem to fix - love your brother, support him in what ever way you think fit, but you cannot make him better - that's something he needs to do for himself.
You can definitely look after yourself tho - organisations like Nar-anon can help too, giving you support and guidance
What's Nar-Anon? ? Nar-Anon Family Groups
My disability is different and the drugs I used where not the same, but I was in your brothers shoes once - then, I had an aha moment and I got clean and stayed that way, so it is possible - don't lose hope
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
It's difficult to let go of someone you love but there isn't anything that you can do to make your brother 'want' to recover. He made the choice to begin and he will make the choice to end if that's his decision.
I'm sorry this has affected your life.
Forcing and pushing an addict into detox or rehab generally does NOT work. A lot of wasted emotion, effort, time and money. Been there.
The money seems well spent before it's gone. After, there comes the realization that we had very little influence over the addict.
Along with that is 'codependency'. Please learn more about this and try to avoid the vacuum that it creates. Read the stickies at the top of this forum.
Wishing you and your family, peace and hope. Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing. Hugs, Joie
I'm sorry this has affected your life.
Forcing and pushing an addict into detox or rehab generally does NOT work. A lot of wasted emotion, effort, time and money. Been there.
The money seems well spent before it's gone. After, there comes the realization that we had very little influence over the addict.
Along with that is 'codependency'. Please learn more about this and try to avoid the vacuum that it creates. Read the stickies at the top of this forum.
Wishing you and your family, peace and hope. Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing. Hugs, Joie
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
If you can find yourself a meeting--NarAnon or Alateen--that would be the best step you can take towards coming to terms with your situation in relation to your brother's addiction. I wish you well and hope you find the support you need, in person, in addition to SR.
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