Please help with advice
 

Yesterday we visited my addict in rehab. It was his 6th day in treatment and "sober":.. Sober wasn't really what we saw. He is taking suboxen and while he didn't seem "high like usual" he was definitely impaired. He was normal at first, then throughout the visit seemed a little odd. He was saying things like "I love heroin, it's the love of my life" ..... And although he was well adjusted and loves his nurses, staff, ect. His behavior was so strange? Like nothing I've ever seen before. He appeared to be a whole new person and not in a great way. Him and another person in there were even making jokes about addiction right in front of me and his mother... He was loosely talking about injecting and how many bags they scored. Things he's never said before so shamelessly. It was almost as if it was "cool to be a heroin addict" and they kept laughing saying we didn't get it... The other kid kept saying "see dude, they don't get it" .... Get what? That it destroyed your life, almost killed you, and stuck daggers in our hearts? I Left completely devastated and confused. He was even like grabbing me making out with me (again like when he was high off of opiates) they are supposedly weaning him off of subs which he wants...... But I'm convinced he has not had a sober day yet since rehab. I'm so confused! Does anyone have any advice? He said he wants to continue treatment at another veterans rehab five hours away with this (also opiate addicted) guy he's met in there and known for 6 days...... I have no idea what's going on here !!! Help!!!

6 days is nowhere near “sober” what you heard is the jabbering of an addict.

Ahh the drug a logs … war stories.

It isn’t personal. Although, he sounds like he was a real ass … especially with his mom in the room.

Sadly you really won’t know who he is, until he has some recovery under his belt. As was said 6 days is nothing.

And at the rate he is going, make a heroin friend and go off into the sunset to a new rehab, well that doesn’t sound promising or smart. What a red flag.

The rude awakening or reality check should come when they cut the sub off. Then the things coming out of his mouth might be different.

Take care.

many rehabs have a black out period and then a no visit period for exactly this reason.....at 6 days off of heroin and now on subs, he is not in his right mind and won't be for a while. i wouldn't even claim him to be IN recovery yet......he's detoxing and stabilizing.

he is likely to continue to romance the drug for some time to come. it has been the LOVE of his life, the giver of all, the great panacea.....

this is going to be a challenging stretch for you. you want to see instant results, you want him fixed and normal. you want to see changes. some of which may not ever happen. not ALL of his behaviors are solely based on the drug......and only time (LOTS of time) will tell - as the wheat separates from the chaff.

and IMO the jabbering of an addict who is not sincerely wanting to be sober...

I wouldn't visit until he has some more time under his belt. This will be too upsetting for you.

He is decidedly not sober. Abstaining from using is not the same thing as sobriety. And judging from his comments, I would say the probability of a relapse his quite high. So what's your plan?

I remember this phase. My axf heard things in detox and adopted them as his own beliefs, his sense of self was so low it's like he didn't even know who he was.

What i got tired of was being around for him to "take," like another drug, you said he was grabbing you to make out and I can just remember my axf doing the same thing, it gave me the creeps. Then I'd feel guilty for rejecting him. It's a bad cycle and I'm glad I got out.

I am sorry you're going through this.

I remember this phase. It can be a very long one. It all depends on the addict. I wouldnt say that I was really in my right mind again until at least 8 months or so... Even then I was not fully functioning and still had reservations.

My opinion might not be the majority... But for me... It took a whole year to come close to sanity. I am 20 months clean and have only been living on my own for 6 months.

6 days is nothing. He isnt even detoxed yet. I would limit contact and wait... But thats just me.

I am sorry. I know how devastating it is. This is a mental disorder. Some even call it a disease. It is a lifetime issue. That is the hardest thing for many to wrap their heads around.

Im sorry my post might sound so negative... But I do hhave this at least... Just for today, He is safe. Just for today, he is in treatment.
That in and of itself is a blessing. Tomorrow might be different... So maybe try to stay in today