It's about me.
 

So in recent events the addicted husband is in recovery. Which for anyone who has been there - isn't a day in the park. It is still total insanity. He goes to meetings every night which test my trust. Is he really going to meetings? Do I really want to go to sleep by myself the rest of my life? Am I better off just being single? All questions that I put on hold.
However, with me - I just got news that I may have thyroid cancer. It's suspicious for follicular neoplasm and what that means is that they won't know if it is, or isn't until they cut it out of me. I have contacted the best hospital for cancer in my state and sent them all the paper work. I waiting for a call back for an appointment. So, it's not a definitive yes I have it or no I don't. It's this medium place of "oh-sh*t". So, needless to say I don't need any stress in my life now.

His mom has also drawn boundaries I can respect. She no longer wants to hear about anything to do with me and her son. Which really means don't call my father in law with the problems anymore (her husband). So, that has cut off communication that was built to be open so he (addict husband) couldn't successfully manipulate me and his dad. Addict husband is professional manipulator.

So basically i'm in a crisis in my own mind. Praying for the best - worrying about the worst. I did get something for my anxiety which was never my drug of choice but I know can be habit forming. I am not taking anything more than recommended and realize there is an end point. However, it is helping me deal with getting through the day without crying, panicking or completely losing my crap.

I just felt that I should update. Not looking for advice. Just I have always found such warm support here and that's what I need right now. Thanks.

Sorry you are going through so much & hoping test come back soon & that all will be well. Positive thoughts & a prayer hour way!

I am also sorry to hear you are facing so much. I pray that everything works out for you and for your strength.

Sending love and support!

the waiting must be unbearable! sending tons of good thoughts your way. i admire your outlook.

My husband and I both went through cancer this past year, at the same time, it was awful and took every ounce of courage I had to stay positive and healthy...and it paid off, we are both doing fairly well today, cancer free but being checked often over the next 5 years.

So I do understand your fear and I hope you will not waste one ounce of your energy worrying about anyone except yourself and your own diagnosis and treatment, if necessary. I pray that all will be fine for you, most times it is, but however this unfolds, it's time to take care of you 100%.

Hugs

Thinking of you and praying for you, sister. One of the things I love about this country (I am not from here :)) is medical care. Especially when they catch cancers early - you are going to be ok. Take your meds, you need them now. G-d knows, I am taking mine too and it helps whole lot. Habit forming or not, you need them now more than ever.

We can't do chit for them, our H addicted husbands, no matter what. I just got a little break from mine, as his mama picked him up to go to his grandmas in NY as she is getting surgery. Mine been on Vivitrol and has now missed the shot for 2 months. I have been driving him, he is not allowed to have any $ (so he can't go anywhere and can't get chit). I tracked his every move. Guess what? He found some guy and did some hussle (dont know how) - basically had this guy drive somewhere and pick suboxone so that my addict can suck on it since H is not available :a043: It's really funny. We can watch them all day long like babies, but if they want to get high, they will summon all of the powers in this universe and get it.

Give yourself a little break, you need you more now than he needs you. If he wants to get high, he will no matter what you do or don't do.

THAT is a lesson I learned the absolute hard way - they will get high no matter what.

I got further results that it's 87 percent chance it is cancer, based on genetic testing. Thyroid Cancer. I'm meeting with new doctors Friday. I did freak out and cry a bit last night.

and..... AH looks high again today. So, who knows about recovery for him, but him. Stressing out about him can't be an option.

Hugs to you - you can do this, you've already been through a lot, you can and will get through this. You come first no matter what.

Sending you hugs KIR--

This!

Going in for surgery at Sloan Kettering in NYC. I'm lucky I live near one of the best cancer hospitals in the country. I am in good hands. I walked into initial appointment scared. I left knowing I will be cured. The doctors don't tell someone that unless the odds are great. He said as long as I don't refuse treatment I will be cured.
The surgery is the day before thanksgiving and i should be out of hospital on thanksgiving. I will update afterwards.

KIR so glad to hear your positive update. How things have changed when you can have cancer surgery one day and leave hospital the next!
Don't forget your MIL is only putting boundaries on talking about her son's recovery and you can still seek support for your health if that's comfortable for you.

Glad to hear of such a great prognosis for you. Many hugs to you.

I'm in the process of recovering. I am on Percocet which scares me but I'm going to be fine. I just wanted to update that surgery went well. Doesn't look like the cancer spread and that taking out the thyroid was my cure.
I'm on the road to recovery.

Thanks for sharing your news. Wishing you a speedy recovery and good health. Take care :)

Glad for the positive update.
Keep honoring yourself, your boundary, and you will certainly not only be cured
but prosper :)

sending hugs & prayers your way.

Keepingitreal, I'm so glad your surgery was successful.

Prayers for your continued recovery and health.