Indigochild

An update for anyone reading and wondering what happened here. 2 and a half years later and yes things have seriously escalated. When I used to read about the progression of this habit I thought it was a quick progression. Well I don't think it was, it's taken well over two years for him to get to a clearly desperate and seriously mentally absent point in my opinion.
Its clear to see now and I have distanced myself from him. Luckily I can spot his Manipulation tactics from a mile off. I guess in the past he didn't need to manipulate me much as his job paid for his habit, now he can't earn enough to cover his smoking.
Its a shame. I really, really feel for people who have family members with addictions, if this was one of my son's, the devastation would be heart breaking. He's not my son though and I know it's never been love between us, just fake, that makes it a lot easier to cut losses and move on.
I guess it's one of those things that you have to go through really, you can read and read and read but nothing shows you how it is or makes you understand like experiencing it first hand. Its a life lesson I guess.

As I read plenty of times, love can't save an addict and nothing means more than their drug. The **** WILL hit the fan. Sooner or later.

Peace out, IC.

Hechosedrugs

Thank you for updating. So important for all of us to see.

Gm0824

Thanks for the update, IC. I am not certain from your post if you have already left or are planning on leaving ... or not leaving at all. Either way, I sincerely hope you have found some inner peace and able to take care of yourself. Hugs

Indigochild

For clarification, we separated. It wasn't pretty but it's over and done. On reflection so much becomes clear.

IC.

Indigochild

Another update for anyone who may be reading and looking for advice..

Pah!! I thought it was bad 2 years ago, nope, that escalation we hear about so much... He managed to manipulate me for almost another two years and I promise I am NOT a weak woman, by no means. It was unreal.

It got to the point last month, I am so physically and mentally ill from that relationship that my survival instincts kicked it, it was me or him. I literally thought I was going to die from all the crap. It took it's toll. I finally understand that I had to be seriously ready to leave him for it to end. He would always come back. Of course he would, he knows where the bread is buttered. I cut all contact. It's hard to stay no contact, but I just remind myself how poorly I actually was.

I am now in the process of healing properly. I am taking in the silence and sleeping all night long, waking up with a clear head. Working through thoughts that come my way and remembering the bad times purposely. I am enjoying just being with me, I no longer feel the need to obsess over what, where, who he is doing. Nothing ever changes, it's just the same.

I now feel like I am in a position where I feel able to give advice properly. I just realise what it's like to be on both sides of this, to really want to be able to take advice but find it so hard, to really want to warn people of how it will most likely end up.

I hope for anyone out there in a similar situation that you can find the strength to leave before you reach the point I did, or that the addict/s in your life can find the strength to quit for good.

IC.

HardLessons

IC

I just read this entire thread again. I think I read it the first time when you updated in 2018 because I hit thanks back then.

Your first post Nov 2015 made me think of my own situation. I was with her back then but I was not reading online or a member yet on SR.

She like your BF was on methadone back then. Daily trips to clinic & on a high daily dose. Back then I didn't know the extent of it but she was also mixing in other drugs. Methadone is a powerful & long lasting drug. It does keep them somewhat on the mellow side even if they are mixing in stimulants. They get the buzz they are after but its not the same powerful buzz if there was no methadone in their system.

Back in June of 2017 as was the case with you my survival instincts also kicked in. I was at a point where I told her to just do me a big favor & run me over with the car I bought her. I was in no fear of death back then. But it did come down to a choice between me or her.

I literally had to crawl away from her. When I say crawl away - I mean crawl on my hands & knees.

Just want you to know that I can relate to where you've been. She still pops up now & then. She is still running with her hair on fire & chasing her addictions. And yes things have gotten progressively worse for her. Its mostly all posted here in this forum.

Im glad to read you finally broke free a month or so ago. Hopefully you will continue to stay clear.

Abandoned80

Indigochild

HardLessons,

Thankyou. I have read a lot of your posts and I agree, I totally relate to how you feel, I feel what you feel through reading what you write. I sense your pain. Hopefully we will continue to be strong. I was happy to read you didn't respond the last time. These people are a hard habit for us to break, again the irony.

I hope you are OK. I am on the mend, I do believe it is going to take a while to fully recover to be honest. I am making it my aim to keep positive.

Always around to give support if needed

IC.

Indigochild

Thankyou AB, I like to update forums as much as possible. As a researcher I find it very frustrating to read threads that just end, its always a relief to see people come back and let you know how things worked out (or not), even if it is negative. I just hope I do help anyone who may be in the same situation.

I think when it comes to Crack Cocaine, there is very rarely going to be a better ending. At least not for the addicted. It's such a shame but that's the way it goes.

IC.

Lina30x

My husband has been using crack for almost 30 years. In the beginning it was only on the weekends. When Friday came, he was gone. When he would go on a binge, things would come up missing in the house. Be careful, as it continues to get worse, all types of manipulation and lies will come out of his mouth. Whatever has to be said or done. It has gotten worse over the years and I never have money on me. He is constantly pulling scams to get his drugs. And the sad part is my husband is a kind hearted man who would give his shirt off his back to help someone. Until he is ready to use or high. No one matters but himself then.
I am sorry you are dealing with this. Please be careful and keep yourself safe. It can spiral quickly. Good luck to you both.