Nelly1

I wish he knew how much it hurt.... To watch him high everyday. I wish he knew how much I died a little inside everytime i saw him walk through the door; eyes pinned, red, and looking sicker and sicker. I wish he knew how much it hurt to lie to my friends and family, and get through my days with a smile on my face knowing my fiancé was essentially gone. While I know that addiction is a beast and a real SOB I wish for one second I could see the real him again and have him tell me everything is going to be okay. I guess it's like wishing you had one more day with a loved one that's passed away.

The scariest thing about loving my opiate addicted fiance is knowing that he may never get better. Knowing that one day I might have to bury him or walk out of his life. I have stopped holding on to fate and prayer and hope, I know now that he must choose to get better or he never will. My prayers fall on deaf ears and sometimes I just want to run down the road screaming because I am so completely devastated over the constant lies and knowing that every day will be just like today until.............????

DustyDreams

Wow. You just summed up my situation and feelings perfectly! I wish I knew what to say to make it better, but I don't. I just joined, but it's so nice to know other people understand what I'm going through.
Sending hugs and prayers your way.