Brother growing pot on 82 year old mother's property
 

My alcoholic brother has been living with my mother since my father died four years ago.

A year or so ago one of my sisters discovered that he had been growing pot in an open tool shed on my mother's farm property. He had one plant at the time, which my mother went out and destroyed.

Yesterday when my sister took my mother's dog out, the dog went out near the tool shed, and when my sister got over there, she noticed that my brother was once again growing pot, only this time he had three large plants growing in buckets, pot hanging from the rafters to dry, and he had a little work table and gardening tools set up where he must trim the plants, etc.

We know he's sold pot before, and obviously must be selling it again.

My sister went in and told my mother what she'd found, and my mother went out to look for herself. She cried, then said she was going to wait until my brother was sober today, then she'd "march him out there and make him destroy it".

My brother is in his mid-fifties, and the best thing that could happen would be for my mother to tell him to pack his bags and leave, but we all know that she won't do that.

He does hold a job, but he gets drunk every night on the way home, and he drinks on weekends too. My mother hates it, and has mentioned to him several times that he might want to think about quitting, especially for the sake of his son (who doesn't live with him), but he always tells her he "isn't ready yet".

The rest of us know that my brother won't stop drinking, and my mother isn't going to kick him out, but the pot growing thing has us worried. We don't know if there's anything we can do, and we're worried that his activities could cause my mother to lose her property.

Is there anything the rest of us siblings can do? At 82, my mother shouldn't have to be living under the stress that my brother causes.

put your foot down on top of his.. your Mom could end up loosing everything... and her life as well.. bad mix for a bad out come.. time for the sisters to step up to the plate... clean out the shed. clean out the room he is in and be the Sister that he has to have.. if he does not like it. don't tell him pack his bag. throw the stuff out the window to the lawn.. out. and for good. this is your Mother who has given so much to help you live... if you need help get the Pastor and some of your cousins.. yep...

vt, your mother probably isn't going to be capable of handling this on her own. Why not get together with your sister and other relatives (if they exist) and take care of the plants yourself?

In situations like this, is it up to the family to destroy all the pot, or should he be reported? We don't want my mother to lose her property, and we have nobody we can ask about how to handle the situation.

It would be really hard to report my brother, so we're between a rock and a hard place.

Not that this eases your mind, but is he a caregiver (meaning does he have a card to legally grow?) I know I wouldn't like it if my brother was growing pot on my mom property card or no card. However, if he has a card she can't get in trouble UNLESS he grows more then allowed. Still if you don't want it there maybe a family meeting is in order.

Passion

No, he is not a caregiver, doesn't have a card, and shouldn't be doing it.

My sister went to my mother's house today and volunteered to go out and destroy my brother's plants, but my mother didn't want her to.

She told my sister she had asked my brother this morning if he was selling anything, and he told her no.

My mother said he was "going to have the plants out of there in a day or two", so I guess that's supposed to make everything okay.

He has a job and he's selling on the side, so he SHOULD have plenty of money, yet he's behind on paying my mother the very, very small amount of rent she asks him for.

Not a very good way to treat your elderly mother, that's for sure. :(

I encourage you to do what is necessary to remove him from your mother's home. He's bad news, and I'm of the opinion your mother is not capable of handling this on her own.

I think at your mom’s age she is not going to change now and she is not going to throw your brother out. She also doesn’t need a stroke from this stress. I’m sure she is not looking for any kind of confrontation. She is sadly the person in the middle who at her age shouldn’t have to be dealing with this but her choices have gotten her here. You and your sisters are putting it on her to address when maybe it should be the sisters speaking with the brother as a united front in the best interest of your mother and her wellbeing

All of you should tell him that you are aware of his illegal activity on her property and next time any of you find pot growing you will destroy it and if it continues then his actions leave you all no choice but to get the authorities involved…..for mom’s best interest.

He will know that you all know what he's doing and he'll know the consequences if he continues.

vt, if you destroy the plants it doesn't have to go any further. Unless for some reason you are nervous about how your brother reacts. No need to involve your mother at all; in fact the less she knows the better.
Possible plan of action: destroy the plants, inform your brother, tell him not to involve your mother. It would be a strange police dept that had any problems with that course of action, and they need not get involved.

What a lousy way to treat a Mom.

This brother has to GO!

Your Mother is 82 this is NO way for her to be living out her twilight years.
He is a lazy , selfish loafer & has no regard whatsoever for the feelings of your dear Mum.

You need to get together as a family , remove your Mother from the situation and let him know he can no longer freeload.
It will be such a relief to your Mum if someone else does it for her.

Don't live to regret this decision cos your Mum isn't getting any younger.
Kick him to the Kerb and let him take care of himself. He needs to get it together & there is NO way he will do this at her house.

He is in his 50s living with Mum, yet has a son himself.
Do her a favour today, sooner rather than later so she can have her life back.

Good luck , I think you are so thoughtful and caring and want the best for your Mum.

️Xxx

Chances are if the plants were busted the law would not take the property of an elderly lady.

He may listen a little closer if face to face with a pissed off grown man ?

Maybe it's best for one of your husbands or male friends to straighten this brother out ?

You brother needs to be told man to man to stop that and you all are serious.

MM

Thank you for all the replies. My mother absolutely refuses to kick my brother out. She actually feels safer having him there, which I understand, even though she has to suffer through all the drama he causes.

It's not the way we wanted her "golden years" to be, but we don't have much choice.

One of my sisters who has extra room in her house has invited my mother several times to move in with her, but Mom won't budge, which I also understand.

An anon call to the police would likely help things along....

i'm sorry, but three pot plants is hardly a grow-op. that amount would be for personal consumption. sure you could maybe sell some, but that would just reduce your own stash. so i'm not sure this requires the DEA and a SWAT team.

that he is also a douche bag is a separate issue.

just one big question.. what happens when one of his pals has the thought he is being cheated and takes it out on the Mom.. why cause she is old and he wants to make a point to the grower and dealer... mmmm.. we have had 9 drug realited shootings in a 10 block area. children are being harmed families harmed and public dead on the street because of a drug deal gone bad.. Your Mom.. Your Thougths...