Pregnant and using
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Twofish 
Dear Kitty,
My RAD just came off methadone, had a life threatening car/moped accident, was on many narcotics for pain, had many X-rays then switched to Suboxone, all not knowing she was 12 weeks pregnant.
What helped me support my daughter and relax a bit was knowing that the placenta is a MIGHTY filter and somehow protected the baby (boy).
After the delivery, CPS was right there to take samples of the baby's blood, etc.
The beautiful baby was spared of any withdrawals, he is 10months old, happy and appears to be developing normally.
I am telling you this to give you hope. There's always two sides of the coin.
My RAD is still on Suboxone, tapering slowly. She tells me frequently that she wishes she wasn't an addict (in recovery).
Her Drs insisted she remain on the Suboxone, changed to Subutex once they discovered she was expecting. That was explained to us that she might miscarry if she suddenly stopped and gone into withdrawals.
Kitty, have hope. Go to the OB/GYN appts with your daughter. Ask the questions.
Try, and this is hard, to not let the worry overwhelm you. It is what it is.
I'll pray for you and your daughter and grand child's safe development.
(((Hugs)))
TF
My RAD just came off methadone, had a life threatening car/moped accident, was on many narcotics for pain, had many X-rays then switched to Suboxone, all not knowing she was 12 weeks pregnant.
What helped me support my daughter and relax a bit was knowing that the placenta is a MIGHTY filter and somehow protected the baby (boy).
After the delivery, CPS was right there to take samples of the baby's blood, etc.
The beautiful baby was spared of any withdrawals, he is 10months old, happy and appears to be developing normally.
I am telling you this to give you hope. There's always two sides of the coin.
My RAD is still on Suboxone, tapering slowly. She tells me frequently that she wishes she wasn't an addict (in recovery).
Her Drs insisted she remain on the Suboxone, changed to Subutex once they discovered she was expecting. That was explained to us that she might miscarry if she suddenly stopped and gone into withdrawals.
Kitty, have hope. Go to the OB/GYN appts with your daughter. Ask the questions.
Try, and this is hard, to not let the worry overwhelm you. It is what it is.
I'll pray for you and your daughter and grand child's safe development.
(((Hugs)))
TF
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Kitty,
Your AD may think she's so smart and in control....but Drs, OB/GYNS are maybe a little bit smarter.
When my RAD was going to the methadone clinic then the suboxone clinic, she was drug tested, a lot. If she indeed is taking benzos and other non prescribed drugs, they will confront her about it.
How will she hide the pregnancy? Or the smell of cigarettes? Or a suprise drug test?
If she is getting prenatal care, she will be asked about the drug usage and once discovered, she will get professional help and counseling. Most likely she will be drug tested to confirm the abuse, not only of herself but the innocent baby growing inside of her.
CPS is there for a reason, to help her be the best mom she can be. If she prefers active addiction to active parenting...they will step in.
I say this with great compassion to you...if you are so certain she is abusing benzos and others drugs and you are very concerned over the health of your developing grandchild...CALL CPS with your concerns and worries. Plus smoking Heroin 10 ft away from a preteen? What kind of message is that giving the 10 yr old son? That alone should be reported. And, you can do this annonomously. Think of the little ones, and the potential danger they are in.
Do what your "gut" tells you to do.
Many thoughts and prayers and support coming your way from your SR family.
TF
Wait til Anvillhead sees this...
Your AD may think she's so smart and in control....but Drs, OB/GYNS are maybe a little bit smarter.
When my RAD was going to the methadone clinic then the suboxone clinic, she was drug tested, a lot. If she indeed is taking benzos and other non prescribed drugs, they will confront her about it.
How will she hide the pregnancy? Or the smell of cigarettes? Or a suprise drug test?
If she is getting prenatal care, she will be asked about the drug usage and once discovered, she will get professional help and counseling. Most likely she will be drug tested to confirm the abuse, not only of herself but the innocent baby growing inside of her.
CPS is there for a reason, to help her be the best mom she can be. If she prefers active addiction to active parenting...they will step in.
I say this with great compassion to you...if you are so certain she is abusing benzos and others drugs and you are very concerned over the health of your developing grandchild...CALL CPS with your concerns and worries. Plus smoking Heroin 10 ft away from a preteen? What kind of message is that giving the 10 yr old son? That alone should be reported. And, you can do this annonomously. Think of the little ones, and the potential danger they are in.
Do what your "gut" tells you to do.
Many thoughts and prayers and support coming your way from your SR family.
TF
Wait til Anvillhead sees this...
Last edited by Twofish; 10-07-2015 at 07:25 AM. Reason: Spelling
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Twofish, I am so glad you stepped in here, I was hoping you would! I agree, call CPS. Then distance yourself if possible. I hate to say that, but at this point, it sounds like you need to do all you can to take care of yourself. It's sort of like the airplane mask, put it on yourself before you can be of help to someone else. As TF said, you can call CPS and be completely anonymous.
In reality, it's after this baby is born that will be difficult to see. Like you said, a baby living with two active, using parents is not a good environment. This is not your fault, these are choices she has made herself. As an adult, we are given the tools to overcome things that were difficult in our childhood. That takes self care and commitment to being well. You either put in the work, or you don't. You cannot control her choice.
I say this all with compassion because I cannot even imagine how much this has to hurt. Please take good care of yourself, and keep coming back. You are not alone!
In reality, it's after this baby is born that will be difficult to see. Like you said, a baby living with two active, using parents is not a good environment. This is not your fault, these are choices she has made herself. As an adult, we are given the tools to overcome things that were difficult in our childhood. That takes self care and commitment to being well. You either put in the work, or you don't. You cannot control her choice.
I say this all with compassion because I cannot even imagine how much this has to hurt. Please take good care of yourself, and keep coming back. You are not alone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Twofish
Dear Kitty,
Your AD may think she's so smart and in control....but Drs, OB/GYNS are maybe a little bit smarter.
When my RAD was going to the methadone clinic then the suboxone clinic, she was drug tested, a lot. If she indeed is taking benzos and other non prescribed drugs, they will confront her about it.
How will she hide the pregnancy? Or the smell of cigarettes? Or a suprise drug test?
If she is getting prenatal care, she will be asked about the drug usage and once discovered, she will get professional help and counseling. Most likely she will be drug tested to confirm the abuse, not only of herself but the innocent baby growing inside of her.
CPS is there for a reason, to help her be the best mom she can be. If she prefers active addiction to active parenting...they will step in.
I say this with great compassion to you...if you are so certain she is abusing benzos and others drugs and you are very concerned over the health of your developing grandchild...CALL CPS with your concerns and worries. Plus smoking Heroin 10 ft away from a preteen? What kind of message is that giving the 10 yr old son? That alone should be reported. And, you can do this annonomously. Think of the little ones, and the potential danger they are in.
Do what your "gut" tells you to do.
Many thoughts and prayers and support coming your way from your SR family.
TF
Wait til Anvillhead sees this...
Your AD may think she's so smart and in control....but Drs, OB/GYNS are maybe a little bit smarter.
When my RAD was going to the methadone clinic then the suboxone clinic, she was drug tested, a lot. If she indeed is taking benzos and other non prescribed drugs, they will confront her about it.
How will she hide the pregnancy? Or the smell of cigarettes? Or a suprise drug test?
If she is getting prenatal care, she will be asked about the drug usage and once discovered, she will get professional help and counseling. Most likely she will be drug tested to confirm the abuse, not only of herself but the innocent baby growing inside of her.
CPS is there for a reason, to help her be the best mom she can be. If she prefers active addiction to active parenting...they will step in.
I say this with great compassion to you...if you are so certain she is abusing benzos and others drugs and you are very concerned over the health of your developing grandchild...CALL CPS with your concerns and worries. Plus smoking Heroin 10 ft away from a preteen? What kind of message is that giving the 10 yr old son? That alone should be reported. And, you can do this annonomously. Think of the little ones, and the potential danger they are in.
Do what your "gut" tells you to do.
Many thoughts and prayers and support coming your way from your SR family.
TF
Wait til Anvillhead sees this...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by hopeful4
Twofish, I am so glad you stepped in here, I was hoping you would! I agree, call CPS. Then distance yourself if possible. I hate to say that, but at this point, it sounds like you need to do all you can to take care of yourself. It's sort of like the airplane mask, put it on yourself before you can be of help to someone else. As TF said, you can call CPS and be completely anonymous.
In reality, it's after this baby is born that will be difficult to see. Like you said, a baby living with two active, using parents is not a good environment. This is not your fault, these are choices she has made herself. As an adult, we are given the tools to overcome things that were difficult in our childhood. That takes self care and commitment to being well. You either put in the work, or you don't. You cannot control her choice.
I say this all with compassion because I cannot even imagine how much this has to hurt. Please take good care of yourself, and keep coming back. You are not alone!
In reality, it's after this baby is born that will be difficult to see. Like you said, a baby living with two active, using parents is not a good environment. This is not your fault, these are choices she has made herself. As an adult, we are given the tools to overcome things that were difficult in our childhood. That takes self care and commitment to being well. You either put in the work, or you don't. You cannot control her choice.
I say this all with compassion because I cannot even imagine how much this has to hurt. Please take good care of yourself, and keep coming back. You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Kitty,
Keep venting, asking, learning. We have been where you are now. GM and I both went through the drama of having daughters being pregnant while wanting to be in recovery. We were lucky, in a way, that our RADS WANTED to be sober, listened to their OB/GYNS, worked their program and although exhausted, are proud mommas today of beautiful and healthy babies.
You will hear this a lot..."Take care of YOU!" Do what you have to do, and always have hope.
Welcome to the grandma club!!
We care.
TF
P.S. Hey SnoozyQ! Good to "see" you again!!!
Keep venting, asking, learning. We have been where you are now. GM and I both went through the drama of having daughters being pregnant while wanting to be in recovery. We were lucky, in a way, that our RADS WANTED to be sober, listened to their OB/GYNS, worked their program and although exhausted, are proud mommas today of beautiful and healthy babies.
You will hear this a lot..."Take care of YOU!" Do what you have to do, and always have hope.
Welcome to the grandma club!!
We care.
TF
P.S. Hey SnoozyQ! Good to "see" you again!!!
Last edited by Twofish; 10-07-2015 at 05:28 PM. Reason: Spelling
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