roccotaco11

Hello. I am in my late 30's and have been dealing with an addicted mother all my life and it's exhausting me and I am finally reaching my breaking point. I was the product of teenage parents where my dad moved on with a new family and was inconsistently in my life. I was stuck with my mother who chose alcohol first and next her boyfriend. I put up with sexual abuse from an uncle and my sister's dad. My sister and I were left home alone a lot in a neighborhood that I wouldn't even want to drive through. Thankfully I had loving grandparents who provided us with care packages and made sure that the lights and heat were on - something my mom didn't care about. Despite my childhood, I persevered and put myself through college and now I am happily married with a great career. My mom on the other hand moved on from alcohol (she still drinks on occasion) and is still now a pill popper and I can't deal with her anymore. She is selfish and mean for no reason. I go out of my way to help her and I get treated like garbage. We recently brought my 91 year old grandma out for her birthday and as usual my mom is high on her pills. She is loud and doesn't understand anything I am saying. A day that was suppose to be a celebration turned out to be a horrible time for me. The next day she kept calling about something she wanted me to look on the internet for her. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her so ignored her. She called me 5 times and the voicemails kept getting more and more mean. Her last one finally called me names and saying that she doesn't have a daughter and as if I am a horrible person when she is the one who is. Prior to this she got upset with me because again high on her pills she forgot her sleeping pills in my car. After driving back across town, I told her that I would bring them over another day. Well that wasn't good enough she harassed me and my husband by leaving messages and even had the audacity to say that she was going to report me to her pharmacist for stealing her medication. I am as straight as they come. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I couldn't believe that she would say this about me. Her behavior is so hurtful and I feel bad for turning my back on her, but enough is enough. Any suggestions on how to handle this? Sorry to ramble - just frustrated.

Hawkeye13

It is fine to go No Contact with an addict at any time, parent or no, especially an abusive one.

I think reading some of the stickys at the top of the page will be helpful.

zoso77

rocco...

Welcome to the Board. I'm sorry for what has brought you here, but I'm also happy you've found us and took the time to post. You've found a good place, and you'll soon meet members who share some of your experiences.

When a parent has lived their life in the manner in which your mother's lived hers, it's a sad thing to watch. Unfortunately, this happens a lot, and after nearly 40 years of being exposed to that, it's understandable that you don't want to be around her. And it's also important that you recognize that you do not need permission to do what is best for you. Clearly having her in your life isn't good for you.

This doesn't mean you'll enjoy icing her, because you won't. It'll actually be quite unpleasant. Perhaps you may even feeling guilty doing it.

Don't.

I encourage you to read as many posts as you can written by members who've dealt with addicted parents. You're not alone, rocco. Not by a longshot. We're here for you.

Keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.