My Story: Cutting ties with opiate addicted sister
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My Story: Cutting ties with opiate addicted sister
So I think this is probably more of a therapeutic tool than anything else. I have been dealing with a sister who is an opiate addict for a very very long time. This is basically going to be bits and pieces of that story. I apologize if it bounces around a bit, sometimes things need to be explained or things attached to them need to be added.
What angers me the most is that she doesn't have the capacity to understand why she's the problem, and instead gets angered at people like they're the problem when they don't enable her. I'm done buying that line though.
So the beginning of the end basically starts when our mother passed away from cancer last December, she fought for nearly 3 years. My sister was already a drug addict long before that, and often came home to live for 2 years at a time, more than a handful of times.
She is now 35, basically closer to 40 than to 30, has 2 kids, and still lives at home. Our step father is sick of it, and little does he know he's enabling her too.
She got her inheritance from life insurance in January, a very sizable amount. My sister was originally the beneficiary, but our mother only had her as that because she was the oldest and changed it once my sister almost went to prison for dealing a large amount of drugs, which my sisters husband took the responsibility for to keep her out of jail. She did spend a few weeks in jail, and it cost our parents over $30K in court costs and lawyer fee's; they had to actually put their house up on a second mortgage to get the money to do it or something like that. This was shortly before our mother found out she had cancer.
So as you can see, my sister has a long history of conning people into enabling her, and many didn't even realize that's what they were doing.
She's done stupid little things over time too....she once wanted me to watch a kitten she got, I'm allergic to cats and she knew it, it was only supposed to be for a week....turned into 3 months before I finally dropped it off to our parents forcing her to pick it up.
I came into her work (she worked at a fast food place) and she was the cashier, and she asked me for money. Gave her more money than I spent on my meal, not a thank you, never paid it back.
Borrowed her $400 once to buy a phone, was supposed to pay it back in 2 weeks, 2 weeks go by, not even a call....had to actually go through parents to get her to give the money back, and that took another week.
And that's not everything, that's just a smidgen, that's just what I can think of off the top of my head. And that doesn't even include what she's done to other people, nor things she's probably done to others that I don't even know about.
Needless to say, there's a pattern of using people and sucking people into her drug addled vortex.
So back to her inheritance; she was supposed to get $900 a month, and that would have lasted her years. But after our mother died, she was coming at me about the money before I even had a chance to file the life insurance claim, and before the funeral even. I suspect she was also probably piling up debts in anticipation of our mothers life insurance payout.
This all understandably angered me, as she has treated her inheritance like she won a scratch off.
So she created this whole scenario where she had to pay some left over bills for our mother, and came at me for the money for it (it was bills she had run up in our mothers name, and actually drug money for her). So it got to the point where she drove over to my house pissed because I refused to pay, bringing one of her druggie friends with her so she could have a witness to say whatever she wanted to say happened. I know how she operates, so I already had the police waiting. She drove up all speedy like, came out huffing and puffing while the officer popped out and stopped her in her tracks, basically acting like an out of control child.
While we were waiting on her, the officer asked me for her information so he could look her up. Turns out she doesn't even have a license anymore (from numerous DUI's) and he told me "I hope she isn't driving here". And I said "I don't want her to get into trouble, but I don't know what else to do, I don't want to fight my sister". I already knew that if she attacked me, I'd have to hurt her bad to get her to stop. She got lucky, the officer let her drive off with a warning.
Afterward she texted me with nasty stuff, pissed at me about having the police there.
So about 3 weeks later the payout comes in for the insurance, and I was in charge of who gets what. I payed everyone what they were owed in the will, and my sister wanted hers in a lumpsum rather than the $900 a month. My mother and I had a conversation about this very thing, and I asked what I should do if that's what she wanted, and our mother said, "just give it to her, let her make her mistakes". I knew that no matter what I did she'd be pissed at me either way; give her a little at a time? She'd hate me for holding the money back. Give her all of it at once? She'd hate me for letting her waste it all. So that's exactly what I did, I wrote her a check for the full amount and that's the last time I talked to her in the last 9 months.
Fast forward about 6 months after she got her life insurance payout, it's all gone. Every. Last. Penny. Nothing to show for it. She probably barely weighs 100lbs, She's living with our step father, with her 3yr old son and her 18yo son and his girlfriend. In their defense they're trying to leave the nest, but my sister keeps guilt her own son into staying so she can latch on to him. It's to the point where she's causing problems between him and his girlfriend because his girlfriend wants them to live on their own together....but obviously my nephew can't exactly say no to his own drug addled mother, he doesn't have the experience nor the strength to anyways, he's just an 18yo kid still. Keep in mind, she hasn't really had a job in several years, has been living basically rent free the entire time too, either with her husband and at parents home.
So fastforward to 2 weeks ago, my sister calls me after not having talked to her for nearly 9 months. Our mother left her in charge of paying our step fathers life insurance policy (and me in charge of our grandmothers policy), But she has no money, so she wan't me to pay it. But she doesn't want to sign it over to me, she just wanted to put me as the beneficiary, and I wasn't falling for that trick, because she could change it anytime she wanted. I refuse to pay something I don't own and control, and I know that the moment I start paying it, she will never pay another penny on it again and her mind set will be he'll have to keep paying it if he wanted the payout from it and wants what he already payed into it to not go to waste. It's essentially, entrapment. She came over and we discussed it, and when she left, I noticed she had thrown an empty pill bottle away in the garbage; it was a prescription in her name for valiums of course.
To top it off, the policy is already 3 weeks overdue. My step father is pissed at her because he's been letting her stay rent free and she hasn't payed it and waited to the last minute to say anything. He told me he'd pay it, but my sister doesn't want to sign it over to him, she's protecting it like it's a gold egg.....can't afford to pay it yet still wants to hold on to control of it. It's just a complete mess. She called me yesterday complaining about me refusing to pay it, saying that our step father was kicking her out, in a tone where she seemed to be fishing for sympathy, for me to tell her I'll fix everything. But I know that would only be enabling her. I like to think of it as the "wake up fire!" routine that drug addicts do; they wait until the last minute, reach out to someone saying they need this or that right now in a hurry, and they need you to put that fire out. And that's exactly what she's doing. On top of that, paying something she is supposed to pay is only giving her the money in a different way since that's money she can keep in her pocket.
Bonus: She tried to get her son to borrow $600 off of me to help them move out to get their own place; not just him and his girlfriend though, but my sister too. So she burns through her inheritance, and tries to spend mine to. She tells me she didn't even want that inheritance money now, but she sure as heck had no problem demanding all of it at once and spending it all! Just infuriating. Of course I have a lot to potentially lose if I don't pay it; because the life insurance policy could lapse and I wouldn't get the portion of it I'm supposed to get, but I'm not even sure if my sister would reliably pay it out anyways. If she had been in charge of our mothers when she died, I strongly believe she would have skipped town with it all.
I could keep going on and on, but I think I'll end here; I wish I could have ended it better; I'll probably add more as it pops into mind. I know it's a lot to read, so thanks for reading. Maybe some of you will go "wow what a mess", or some of you will think "I know exactly what you're going through" or other thoughts, feel free to share them or similar experiences that touch on things I've said.
Basically now
What angers me the most is that she doesn't have the capacity to understand why she's the problem, and instead gets angered at people like they're the problem when they don't enable her. I'm done buying that line though.
So the beginning of the end basically starts when our mother passed away from cancer last December, she fought for nearly 3 years. My sister was already a drug addict long before that, and often came home to live for 2 years at a time, more than a handful of times.
She is now 35, basically closer to 40 than to 30, has 2 kids, and still lives at home. Our step father is sick of it, and little does he know he's enabling her too.
She got her inheritance from life insurance in January, a very sizable amount. My sister was originally the beneficiary, but our mother only had her as that because she was the oldest and changed it once my sister almost went to prison for dealing a large amount of drugs, which my sisters husband took the responsibility for to keep her out of jail. She did spend a few weeks in jail, and it cost our parents over $30K in court costs and lawyer fee's; they had to actually put their house up on a second mortgage to get the money to do it or something like that. This was shortly before our mother found out she had cancer.
So as you can see, my sister has a long history of conning people into enabling her, and many didn't even realize that's what they were doing.
She's done stupid little things over time too....she once wanted me to watch a kitten she got, I'm allergic to cats and she knew it, it was only supposed to be for a week....turned into 3 months before I finally dropped it off to our parents forcing her to pick it up.
I came into her work (she worked at a fast food place) and she was the cashier, and she asked me for money. Gave her more money than I spent on my meal, not a thank you, never paid it back.
Borrowed her $400 once to buy a phone, was supposed to pay it back in 2 weeks, 2 weeks go by, not even a call....had to actually go through parents to get her to give the money back, and that took another week.
And that's not everything, that's just a smidgen, that's just what I can think of off the top of my head. And that doesn't even include what she's done to other people, nor things she's probably done to others that I don't even know about.
Needless to say, there's a pattern of using people and sucking people into her drug addled vortex.
So back to her inheritance; she was supposed to get $900 a month, and that would have lasted her years. But after our mother died, she was coming at me about the money before I even had a chance to file the life insurance claim, and before the funeral even. I suspect she was also probably piling up debts in anticipation of our mothers life insurance payout.
This all understandably angered me, as she has treated her inheritance like she won a scratch off.
So she created this whole scenario where she had to pay some left over bills for our mother, and came at me for the money for it (it was bills she had run up in our mothers name, and actually drug money for her). So it got to the point where she drove over to my house pissed because I refused to pay, bringing one of her druggie friends with her so she could have a witness to say whatever she wanted to say happened. I know how she operates, so I already had the police waiting. She drove up all speedy like, came out huffing and puffing while the officer popped out and stopped her in her tracks, basically acting like an out of control child.
While we were waiting on her, the officer asked me for her information so he could look her up. Turns out she doesn't even have a license anymore (from numerous DUI's) and he told me "I hope she isn't driving here". And I said "I don't want her to get into trouble, but I don't know what else to do, I don't want to fight my sister". I already knew that if she attacked me, I'd have to hurt her bad to get her to stop. She got lucky, the officer let her drive off with a warning.
Afterward she texted me with nasty stuff, pissed at me about having the police there.
So about 3 weeks later the payout comes in for the insurance, and I was in charge of who gets what. I payed everyone what they were owed in the will, and my sister wanted hers in a lumpsum rather than the $900 a month. My mother and I had a conversation about this very thing, and I asked what I should do if that's what she wanted, and our mother said, "just give it to her, let her make her mistakes". I knew that no matter what I did she'd be pissed at me either way; give her a little at a time? She'd hate me for holding the money back. Give her all of it at once? She'd hate me for letting her waste it all. So that's exactly what I did, I wrote her a check for the full amount and that's the last time I talked to her in the last 9 months.
Fast forward about 6 months after she got her life insurance payout, it's all gone. Every. Last. Penny. Nothing to show for it. She probably barely weighs 100lbs, She's living with our step father, with her 3yr old son and her 18yo son and his girlfriend. In their defense they're trying to leave the nest, but my sister keeps guilt her own son into staying so she can latch on to him. It's to the point where she's causing problems between him and his girlfriend because his girlfriend wants them to live on their own together....but obviously my nephew can't exactly say no to his own drug addled mother, he doesn't have the experience nor the strength to anyways, he's just an 18yo kid still. Keep in mind, she hasn't really had a job in several years, has been living basically rent free the entire time too, either with her husband and at parents home.
So fastforward to 2 weeks ago, my sister calls me after not having talked to her for nearly 9 months. Our mother left her in charge of paying our step fathers life insurance policy (and me in charge of our grandmothers policy), But she has no money, so she wan't me to pay it. But she doesn't want to sign it over to me, she just wanted to put me as the beneficiary, and I wasn't falling for that trick, because she could change it anytime she wanted. I refuse to pay something I don't own and control, and I know that the moment I start paying it, she will never pay another penny on it again and her mind set will be he'll have to keep paying it if he wanted the payout from it and wants what he already payed into it to not go to waste. It's essentially, entrapment. She came over and we discussed it, and when she left, I noticed she had thrown an empty pill bottle away in the garbage; it was a prescription in her name for valiums of course.
To top it off, the policy is already 3 weeks overdue. My step father is pissed at her because he's been letting her stay rent free and she hasn't payed it and waited to the last minute to say anything. He told me he'd pay it, but my sister doesn't want to sign it over to him, she's protecting it like it's a gold egg.....can't afford to pay it yet still wants to hold on to control of it. It's just a complete mess. She called me yesterday complaining about me refusing to pay it, saying that our step father was kicking her out, in a tone where she seemed to be fishing for sympathy, for me to tell her I'll fix everything. But I know that would only be enabling her. I like to think of it as the "wake up fire!" routine that drug addicts do; they wait until the last minute, reach out to someone saying they need this or that right now in a hurry, and they need you to put that fire out. And that's exactly what she's doing. On top of that, paying something she is supposed to pay is only giving her the money in a different way since that's money she can keep in her pocket.
Bonus: She tried to get her son to borrow $600 off of me to help them move out to get their own place; not just him and his girlfriend though, but my sister too. So she burns through her inheritance, and tries to spend mine to. She tells me she didn't even want that inheritance money now, but she sure as heck had no problem demanding all of it at once and spending it all! Just infuriating. Of course I have a lot to potentially lose if I don't pay it; because the life insurance policy could lapse and I wouldn't get the portion of it I'm supposed to get, but I'm not even sure if my sister would reliably pay it out anyways. If she had been in charge of our mothers when she died, I strongly believe she would have skipped town with it all.
I could keep going on and on, but I think I'll end here; I wish I could have ended it better; I'll probably add more as it pops into mind. I know it's a lot to read, so thanks for reading. Maybe some of you will go "wow what a mess", or some of you will think "I know exactly what you're going through" or other thoughts, feel free to share them or similar experiences that touch on things I've said.
Basically now
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 59
Anyone with an addict knows exactly what you have been through. We are the only ones who can hear your story and say oh yea that happened to me and not judge. I go to Naranon meetings and have found them extremely helpful and found some great people there for support. Just know it can get better. Never lose hope for her to be clean. Try not to take it personally. Ourselves we can change. You can't change her. Only she can but we can stop enabling while also being compassionate and let her face the natural consequences of her actions. Let it go. I know it sounds easier then it really is but all we can do is pray. Hope this helped you out! You're much stronger then u give itself credit for.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Plastic if I was dying and leaving money I would definitely use you as the executor. You are honest, but also have a realistic grasp of how an addict's mind works. I'm sorry for the stress you've been put through anyway.
I'm sure that not all addicts have this lazy dishonest take on life, but when it starts young it seems to alter their brains permanently.
I'm sure that not all addicts have this lazy dishonest take on life, but when it starts young it seems to alter their brains permanently.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh gosh. Her behavior is so typical addict behavior. It's so sad and just awful to sit back and see happen. And hurtful, she's your sister.
Thing is, she is going to keep doing this, and as her addiction progresses, it will only get worse. She will steal from those she loves to support her own addiction, that is the reality.
I myself would let the policy lapse, and I would take out a new policy in which I am the owner, and the beneficiary. Just my .02
I am so sorry. We are here, we understand, and we support you!
Thing is, she is going to keep doing this, and as her addiction progresses, it will only get worse. She will steal from those she loves to support her own addiction, that is the reality.
I myself would let the policy lapse, and I would take out a new policy in which I am the owner, and the beneficiary. Just my .02
I am so sorry. We are here, we understand, and we support you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3
Yeah, her behavior is text book, typical, etc. I haven't even scratched the surface of how much she's done to people around her including her family, she's done soo much I'm sure that I've probably even forgot things she's done entirely. I'm sure I haven't even listed things a fraction as bad as some things she has done.
She's run up thousands of dollars in phone bills before, had a home and cars repossessed, cheated on both of her husbands, had coked out boyfriends here and there, our mother practically raised her son while she went out partying (he actually used to call his grandmother, mom, that's how much my sister wasn't around) just basically over used family generosity and hospitality in general in soo many ways over the years....but acts like she's never gotten anything from anyone, like she thinks she's a street smart self made person yet relies on everyone else for everything. She always needs something from someone, and I'd say 90% of my interactions with her over the past decade have either involved asking for money or something she needed done for her.
I had actually told her clearly that I was done with her before I gave her her inheritance. Now she's basically trying to slowly sneak her way in like nothing ever happened. That's her mentality though, like if I were to flip it around and ask her for money, she'd have no problem saying no because she really doesn't have it (even if the only reason why she doesn't have it is because she wasted it or refuses to work), and she thinks that because other people might have it, and that she needs/wants it, that they should have no problem giving it, regardless of the reason, because hey, family right? Wrong.
She was always rotten since childhood. As a teenager she was horrible, already sleeping around, pregnant at 16 by a 24yo guy, ran away multiple times, she was just always a "do what I want" type of person.
Of course, as you might expect, she's the type of person that has tons of tattoo's all over, legs, arms, back, neck, etc, you name it.
So even outside of her drug use, she is just in general, not a person one wants to be around, not a person to be proud of. At this point, basically everything about her is baggage. It's not just drugs that are the problem, she as a person is a problem....she's soo far gone that I doubt even if she sobered up she'd be a different person. She'd just see a bunch of people that didn't give her what she wanted when she wanted it.
But yeah I refuse to pay the policy, even if I have a lot to lose on it. Sad thing is our mother had been paying into it for over 20 years. My sister is soo foolish that she really expects to be able to control something she can't afford that she wants other people to pay, but that fact alone speaks volumes about how she lives her life and faces situations.
Now I'm basically faced with having to tell her that I'm done with her...again. And I've had to cut ties with my nephew because of it. And of course his mom drills stuff into his head, I've heard from family, like our step brothers wife, that she had been talking all kinds of crap about me behind my back over the last several months. I feel soo bad for my nephew because he's understandably going to stick by his mom, and I know all of the problems in store for him for the rest of his life as she latches on to him.
My brothers wife even told me my sister had mentioned that she should rob me because I was "sitting on all of that money", of course, meaning my portion of the inheritance from our mothers life insurance. That really got my attention. I had half a mind to call the police right then and have his wife testify to her saying that, but she really doesn't want to be in the middle of it. So I've been on guard since then, gotten security camera's for my home, etc. This was a few month ago that me and my brothers wife had this conversation, before all of these new issues with my sister. So of course I was already angered with her for saying all that stuff about me before any of this new stuff about the policy and money even came up. My brothers wife only really talks to her because my sister calls her and just starts talking all buddy buddy, but she doesn't really like my sister at all.
Thing is, I really wouldn't put it past my sister to try to rob me, she has plenty of druggie friends she could 'hire', and she'd feel justified in trying, because she essentially has the mentality that she's entitled to whatever she wants. Of course it'd be hard for her to get anything out of me even if she tried to force me to do so at gunpoint, she'd be better off robbing a bank, but of course when you're dealing with a drug addict rationality is not there. I have been contemplating moving to keep her from knowing where I live; which is easier said than done, to the point where it's basically not an option to move at this time.
Her drugs of choice are primarily painkillers and cocaine, along with valium type pills. Of course like the typical drug addict, she goes to the hospital making up medical issues in order to get prescriptions whenever she can....but I'd say she primarily buys her drugs off the street, especially since she probably does more than any one prescription could provide in a single month.
She's gone to rehabs before, been on things like methadone and other stuff; I can't even say she has relapsed because you've have to get clean to relapse and I don't think she's ever actually gotten clean.....she's the type that goes to rehabs and still does drugs, or does drugs as soon as she gets out.
Another thing that is just the worst, is that with all of the drugs she's done, with the effect they have on her, she really doesn't care to remember all the crap she's pulled, nor how it has affected others. It's like drunk driving, running someone over, and wondering why your car has blood stains on it the next morning. That's how she moves through life; with all the drugs she doesn't have the capacity to have that continuity of conscience, to recognize that her previous actions are why people see her or treat her a certain way. That's no excuse though.
Our mother somewhat kept her in check when she was alive. After that though, my sister has basically just been as bad as ever. And our mother somewhat was the glue that kept the family together too, but since she passed, I really have just had no ties to my sister at all, I'm already beyond the point where if I never saw her again, I'd be fine with that.
She's run up thousands of dollars in phone bills before, had a home and cars repossessed, cheated on both of her husbands, had coked out boyfriends here and there, our mother practically raised her son while she went out partying (he actually used to call his grandmother, mom, that's how much my sister wasn't around) just basically over used family generosity and hospitality in general in soo many ways over the years....but acts like she's never gotten anything from anyone, like she thinks she's a street smart self made person yet relies on everyone else for everything. She always needs something from someone, and I'd say 90% of my interactions with her over the past decade have either involved asking for money or something she needed done for her.
I had actually told her clearly that I was done with her before I gave her her inheritance. Now she's basically trying to slowly sneak her way in like nothing ever happened. That's her mentality though, like if I were to flip it around and ask her for money, she'd have no problem saying no because she really doesn't have it (even if the only reason why she doesn't have it is because she wasted it or refuses to work), and she thinks that because other people might have it, and that she needs/wants it, that they should have no problem giving it, regardless of the reason, because hey, family right? Wrong.
She was always rotten since childhood. As a teenager she was horrible, already sleeping around, pregnant at 16 by a 24yo guy, ran away multiple times, she was just always a "do what I want" type of person.
Of course, as you might expect, she's the type of person that has tons of tattoo's all over, legs, arms, back, neck, etc, you name it.
So even outside of her drug use, she is just in general, not a person one wants to be around, not a person to be proud of. At this point, basically everything about her is baggage. It's not just drugs that are the problem, she as a person is a problem....she's soo far gone that I doubt even if she sobered up she'd be a different person. She'd just see a bunch of people that didn't give her what she wanted when she wanted it.
But yeah I refuse to pay the policy, even if I have a lot to lose on it. Sad thing is our mother had been paying into it for over 20 years. My sister is soo foolish that she really expects to be able to control something she can't afford that she wants other people to pay, but that fact alone speaks volumes about how she lives her life and faces situations.
Now I'm basically faced with having to tell her that I'm done with her...again. And I've had to cut ties with my nephew because of it. And of course his mom drills stuff into his head, I've heard from family, like our step brothers wife, that she had been talking all kinds of crap about me behind my back over the last several months. I feel soo bad for my nephew because he's understandably going to stick by his mom, and I know all of the problems in store for him for the rest of his life as she latches on to him.
My brothers wife even told me my sister had mentioned that she should rob me because I was "sitting on all of that money", of course, meaning my portion of the inheritance from our mothers life insurance. That really got my attention. I had half a mind to call the police right then and have his wife testify to her saying that, but she really doesn't want to be in the middle of it. So I've been on guard since then, gotten security camera's for my home, etc. This was a few month ago that me and my brothers wife had this conversation, before all of these new issues with my sister. So of course I was already angered with her for saying all that stuff about me before any of this new stuff about the policy and money even came up. My brothers wife only really talks to her because my sister calls her and just starts talking all buddy buddy, but she doesn't really like my sister at all.
Thing is, I really wouldn't put it past my sister to try to rob me, she has plenty of druggie friends she could 'hire', and she'd feel justified in trying, because she essentially has the mentality that she's entitled to whatever she wants. Of course it'd be hard for her to get anything out of me even if she tried to force me to do so at gunpoint, she'd be better off robbing a bank, but of course when you're dealing with a drug addict rationality is not there. I have been contemplating moving to keep her from knowing where I live; which is easier said than done, to the point where it's basically not an option to move at this time.
Her drugs of choice are primarily painkillers and cocaine, along with valium type pills. Of course like the typical drug addict, she goes to the hospital making up medical issues in order to get prescriptions whenever she can....but I'd say she primarily buys her drugs off the street, especially since she probably does more than any one prescription could provide in a single month.
She's gone to rehabs before, been on things like methadone and other stuff; I can't even say she has relapsed because you've have to get clean to relapse and I don't think she's ever actually gotten clean.....she's the type that goes to rehabs and still does drugs, or does drugs as soon as she gets out.
Another thing that is just the worst, is that with all of the drugs she's done, with the effect they have on her, she really doesn't care to remember all the crap she's pulled, nor how it has affected others. It's like drunk driving, running someone over, and wondering why your car has blood stains on it the next morning. That's how she moves through life; with all the drugs she doesn't have the capacity to have that continuity of conscience, to recognize that her previous actions are why people see her or treat her a certain way. That's no excuse though.
Our mother somewhat kept her in check when she was alive. After that though, my sister has basically just been as bad as ever. And our mother somewhat was the glue that kept the family together too, but since she passed, I really have just had no ties to my sister at all, I'm already beyond the point where if I never saw her again, I'd be fine with that.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hi Plastik,
Take care of you. I think you are correct in all of your assessments regarding your sister.
I think you've done what you can do. You honored your mom's wishes. You have boundaries. As for her bad mouthing you, it happens. It sounds like she's reaching the point that her lifestyle choices are physically evident. People will figure it out. People will figure it out real soon once she uses them too!
Take care of you. I think you are correct in all of your assessments regarding your sister.
I think you've done what you can do. You honored your mom's wishes. You have boundaries. As for her bad mouthing you, it happens. It sounds like she's reaching the point that her lifestyle choices are physically evident. People will figure it out. People will figure it out real soon once she uses them too!
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