My best friend is an addict
 

My name is Emily. My best friend of 12 years is currently using/addicted to meth and heroin. She has a beautiful 1 year old daughter who is being raised by my friends mother. She has been using heavily since her mother took possession of her daughter. Tonight i tried to talk to her and she doesnt think she has a problem. She has suicidal thoughts regularly and if i bring up that she has a daughter to live for then she say "why does that matter? She is better off without me". I am desperately seeking help for her. I am a recovering addict from pain killers and aderall and i have been clean for 2 years but i have no clue what i can do in this situation. I never went through treatments or went to meetings i kicked my addiction on my own. PLEASE HELP ME SAVE MY BEST FRIENDS LIFE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!!!!

Emily - first, welcome to the forum - this is a great place to get some advice, strength and support for yourself. And congratulations on your 2 years being clean!

I am afraid that I don't have any great pearls of wisdom to offer you - but someone else will undoubtedly be along soon, maybe they will do better.

For your friend - do you know why her mother took over the care of her daughter? From what you wrote, this seems to have been a key event / trigger for your friend. She obviously has serious self-worth issues if she thinks her daughter would be better off without her and contemplates suicide on a somewhat regular basis.

Perhaps you could do a little research and see if you can find a NA meeting in your area - offer her recovery resources and support. Take her to a meeting maybe something will click for her. Her first step will be admitting that she has a problem - NA has some literature to help folks come to that realization and quit denying it.

You need to accept that your friend will not get clean until she wants to - nothing you can do will make her get and stay sober until she wants it for herself. Just like you did, once she makes her decision, she will be hard to stop!

Just today, I got this from a friend who has two sons that are heroin addicts, know that he is NOT alone in his vigil - "...as always I'll pray for all and I mean ALL who suffer."

In the words of another member here: "Love cannot save our addicted loved ones, if it could, not one of us would be here." - Ann from SR

Keep coming back,

Jim

Alanon my friend, try to get to an alanon meeting.:grouphug:

It sounds as if your friend could use some counseling or psychiatric care. If she acts on her suicidal thoughts at all, even suggesting she is headed that way, call 911 and get her some professional help.

first things first ... take care of yourself. No one can save another if they aren't interested in recovery. You know this all too well. Congratulations on your recovery and continued sobriety. Hugs to you, Joie

Hello Egab, welcome to SR!

Could you reach out to your friend's mom? She could probably fill you in on the exact reason why she has her grandchild. You could give her hope that hopefully her daughter will choose recovery soon. You could ask her for guidance on gently offering options for your friend to hopefully change.

Blessings!

There is nothing you can do. That is the hardest part for all of us. I still try to come up with ways to save my x. Although, the difference now is I don't act on it. It is really insane ( my x lost his child too) that even after loosing their child they don't see a problem with it. It baffles me loosing their child isn't their rock bottom. I know it hurts. Hang in there and I will be sending lots of love and light your way.