Addicts are smarter than they seem
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 30
I reached a point with my addict BF where somehow I accepted that him "coming clean" was what was important, as opposed to hiding his addiction.
It was a dangerous precedence to set as it became ..."but I told you eventually, or within x number of days, or right away when you asked"...and it became a way of avoiding the actual issues/boundaries that were being crossed. I was deluding myself thinking it was progress when really it didn't feel any better than not "knowing ". In a way it had me pushing my boundaries out and rationalizing as if somehow knowing sooner that he was binging made the binge ok - when my boundary was no using. Fuzzy logic on my part.
It was a dangerous precedence to set as it became ..."but I told you eventually, or within x number of days, or right away when you asked"...and it became a way of avoiding the actual issues/boundaries that were being crossed. I was deluding myself thinking it was progress when really it didn't feel any better than not "knowing ". In a way it had me pushing my boundaries out and rationalizing as if somehow knowing sooner that he was binging made the binge ok - when my boundary was no using. Fuzzy logic on my part.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 25
Reading through your posts, you mention he is addicted to crack. Run. It is highly unlikely the situation will improve. I dealt with someone addicted to crack, and crack wins. It takes a very motivated and extremely strong individual to kick that habit. He only stole $20.00 this time....he took your car....he could trade your car one of these times....do not let love blind you.
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