I survived!!!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: maryland
Posts: 86
I survived!!!!!!!
Tuesday, I sat in an old, muggy courthouse with my dad for 2 hours waiting for my turn to see the judge.
I couldn't sit still. I jumped everytime the door opened.
I frayed the edges of the folder I was carrying.
I waited so damn long for this day... & it came, & i didn't know what to do with it.
My case was called & the exhusband was no where to be found. (Being uncontested, in my state, means the defendant does not have to be present.)
No, we haven't lived together since July 1, 2014.
No, we haven't had marital relations since then either.
Why am I only offering 4 hours of visitation for my daugher per week?
Well, he chooses to not even take those...
Some legal stuff & the same questions asked to my witness, my sweet sweet father, & then we were done. i asked for my maiden name back.
it felt good. Divorced. The definition of bittersweet.
I walked out shaky, almost tearing up but smiling too.
I thought about a year ago this time. I was still lost in the fog of my life exploding. The smoke hadn't cleared. It was all I could do to get to work on time, to get off the couch & make dinner. It was pure adrenaline getting me through life. A three year old was very much counting on me to work it out, give her a steady life. Some days I never thought I could.
I did.
I make dinner every night. I pay for the roof over our heads. I bought her sparkly shoes for kindergarten. We have to live simply - but we're doing it.
She knows all of her sight words & is exceling in school. Mommy even started seeing a "friend" who has brightened up our lives a little & makes his presence with her a priority.
This time last year, I was mourning a relationship with someone who wasn't capable of focusing on anyone but himself. Not even the little girl who calls him daddy. I used to pat her back while she cried herself to sleep & hate him, loathe him even for hurting us. These days our bedtime routine consists of about 15 I love you's & hugs goodnight & some giggles.
Life is good.
I couldn't sit still. I jumped everytime the door opened.
I frayed the edges of the folder I was carrying.
I waited so damn long for this day... & it came, & i didn't know what to do with it.
My case was called & the exhusband was no where to be found. (Being uncontested, in my state, means the defendant does not have to be present.)
No, we haven't lived together since July 1, 2014.
No, we haven't had marital relations since then either.
Why am I only offering 4 hours of visitation for my daugher per week?
Well, he chooses to not even take those...
Some legal stuff & the same questions asked to my witness, my sweet sweet father, & then we were done. i asked for my maiden name back.
it felt good. Divorced. The definition of bittersweet.
I walked out shaky, almost tearing up but smiling too.
I thought about a year ago this time. I was still lost in the fog of my life exploding. The smoke hadn't cleared. It was all I could do to get to work on time, to get off the couch & make dinner. It was pure adrenaline getting me through life. A three year old was very much counting on me to work it out, give her a steady life. Some days I never thought I could.
I did.
I make dinner every night. I pay for the roof over our heads. I bought her sparkly shoes for kindergarten. We have to live simply - but we're doing it.
She knows all of her sight words & is exceling in school. Mommy even started seeing a "friend" who has brightened up our lives a little & makes his presence with her a priority.
This time last year, I was mourning a relationship with someone who wasn't capable of focusing on anyone but himself. Not even the little girl who calls him daddy. I used to pat her back while she cried herself to sleep & hate him, loathe him even for hurting us. These days our bedtime routine consists of about 15 I love you's & hugs goodnight & some giggles.
Life is good.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 20
You're teaching your daughter
How to be a survivor and how to thrive in the face of adversity. You are also teaching her not to let anyone mistreat her: she is valued and that is a gift a parent gives to her child.
Congrats on being the parent she deserves!!!
You go girl!
Congrats on being the parent she deserves!!!
You go girl!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
That indeed took courage and I know how very hard this past year has been for you. You found the strength and courage to make a good life for yourself and your daughter, how wonderful for her that today her life is filled with love and peace.
Hugs to you for doing the right thing. May the days ahead be filled with blessings and joy.
Hugs
Hugs to you for doing the right thing. May the days ahead be filled with blessings and joy.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
You go, girl!!! What a wonderful thing and congratulations!
You have also given your dear daughter something that money just can't buy--a loving parent dedicated to her best in love and what it takes to make that happen.
Beautiful.
You have also given your dear daughter something that money just can't buy--a loving parent dedicated to her best in love and what it takes to make that happen.
Beautiful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: maryland
Posts: 86
Thank you all so much.
This place has helped me immensely. I am not always posting but I am always reading, little things have stuck with me that got me through some of the very worst of it.
I hope a mom out there reads this one day & believes she can change her life, too.
And you're right, anxious wife no longer fits - does it?? haha
This place has helped me immensely. I am not always posting but I am always reading, little things have stuck with me that got me through some of the very worst of it.
I hope a mom out there reads this one day & believes she can change her life, too.
And you're right, anxious wife no longer fits - does it?? haha
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