I'm getting healthier...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 408
I'm getting healthier...
I realize that I'm getting healthier and responding to situations entirely different than I have before...The focus has always been on my qualifier, I spent so much time trying to make sense of everything, focusing entirely on him, "is he sober, is he using? What does this mean..." Searching the house for pills...anything...to find "proof that he was using again."
It wasn't until I kicked him out and he left for his mom's that I've really been able to step back and see things for what they were...
We have limited contact now. From what I've heard, he's working a program, has a sponsor, is sober. Some days are much harder than others, I'd be lying to say that I'm "healthy as a whole," but I feel stronger, I see things more clearly, I am more compassionate...my rage and "pitty" for myself has almost completely subsided.
I don't know what the future holds...I take every day--day by day. Today I feel good. For anyone on the fence about leaving the active addict, I'm reaching out to you. I'm not suggesting you do exactly what I am doing, but at 6+ weeks of having this necessary space...I feel a peace I haven't felt in years.
It wasn't until I kicked him out and he left for his mom's that I've really been able to step back and see things for what they were...
We have limited contact now. From what I've heard, he's working a program, has a sponsor, is sober. Some days are much harder than others, I'd be lying to say that I'm "healthy as a whole," but I feel stronger, I see things more clearly, I am more compassionate...my rage and "pitty" for myself has almost completely subsided.
I don't know what the future holds...I take every day--day by day. Today I feel good. For anyone on the fence about leaving the active addict, I'm reaching out to you. I'm not suggesting you do exactly what I am doing, but at 6+ weeks of having this necessary space...I feel a peace I haven't felt in years.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 32
Congrats Hopepray love!
I can 100% relate. Every day is a new challenge but the truth is after leaving you really do feel better. I'm really happy to hear you ad doing well and I hope anyone reading this realizes how much of a burden your addict is and how you cannot be everything for them. Above all you must be everything for yourself.
I can 100% relate. Every day is a new challenge but the truth is after leaving you really do feel better. I'm really happy to hear you ad doing well and I hope anyone reading this realizes how much of a burden your addict is and how you cannot be everything for them. Above all you must be everything for yourself.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3
Glad to hear he is still working on himself and so are you. I am going through something similar, I think now is the time to walk away..or distance myself at least until my boyfriend shows some serious effort towards recovery. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 30
Your post inspires me.
Looking back over the past almost 3 years the best moments for me were when I was not focused on him, his addiction, recovery, lies, deceptions etc...but rather focused on my own stuff.
Only so many hours in a day and I can't believe how easily I let myself get sucked back in to being the behaviour police rather than spending it on things that are so much more enjoyable.
Looking back over the past almost 3 years the best moments for me were when I was not focused on him, his addiction, recovery, lies, deceptions etc...but rather focused on my own stuff.
Only so many hours in a day and I can't believe how easily I let myself get sucked back in to being the behaviour police rather than spending it on things that are so much more enjoyable.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 408
Originally Posted by Wishful04 
Your post inspires me.
Looking back over the past almost 3 years the best moments for me were when I was not focused on him, his addiction, recovery, lies, deceptions etc...but rather focused on my own stuff.
Only so many hours in a day and I can't believe how easily I let myself get sucked back in to being the behaviour police rather than spending it on things that are so much more enjoyable.
Looking back over the past almost 3 years the best moments for me were when I was not focused on him, his addiction, recovery, lies, deceptions etc...but rather focused on my own stuff.
Only so many hours in a day and I can't believe how easily I let myself get sucked back in to being the behaviour police rather than spending it on things that are so much more enjoyable.
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