Husband and opiates. Need advice please.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Honey, I hate to break it to you but you have basically 2 options:
1. Stay with your husband & accept that merely by letting him live with you, if you are unable to cope without pain meds of your own, that there's a very likely chance he'll continue stealing meds of yours. He will probably say he's sorry every single time he does. He will probably turn over his "power" to you every time, in some way. But it is highly, highly unlikely he will ever stop using them, even if he IS in some kind of program, because the temptation & his addiction will overcome. So given that, option #1 is for you to not only live a life of holding his hand through his addiction, but to risk being in on-again-off-again pain yourself because your medication will continue to "disappear".
2. Take the journey with him. I don't know you, so I'm not suggesting that your pain is manageable without prescription strength medication, but IF there's a chance that it could be, I would highly recommend researching any other option than opiate painkillers IF you want to stay with your husband. At the same time, research in-patient treatment for him, & don't kid yourself about being able to track, control, schedule or otherwise manage his addiction yourself: it's not going to happen. If you truly believe that he wants to rid himself of this addiction to pills, then it will go further than you could even imagine to offer to walk the walk with him.
Then, despite what you may try & how hard you may try it, you need to be prepared for him to go back on everything you've attempted & then some.
My husband, too, used to steal MY pain meds, lie about it first, & then beg me to hold onto his own Suboxone, count them & dispense them to him.
Same goes for booze, cigarettes, you name it. No matter HOW many times he told me he "didn't want to be dependent on anything", in the end, he would simply cover his tracks as he traded one vice for another.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "I don't want to be dependent on.." or "I can just quit cold-turkey, I know I can"...I would be beyond rich.
Whatever course of action you take, do not take it by yourself. Then it becomes a cat & mouse game-he said, she said, & that is a game that no one wins.
Good luck.
1. Stay with your husband & accept that merely by letting him live with you, if you are unable to cope without pain meds of your own, that there's a very likely chance he'll continue stealing meds of yours. He will probably say he's sorry every single time he does. He will probably turn over his "power" to you every time, in some way. But it is highly, highly unlikely he will ever stop using them, even if he IS in some kind of program, because the temptation & his addiction will overcome. So given that, option #1 is for you to not only live a life of holding his hand through his addiction, but to risk being in on-again-off-again pain yourself because your medication will continue to "disappear".
2. Take the journey with him. I don't know you, so I'm not suggesting that your pain is manageable without prescription strength medication, but IF there's a chance that it could be, I would highly recommend researching any other option than opiate painkillers IF you want to stay with your husband. At the same time, research in-patient treatment for him, & don't kid yourself about being able to track, control, schedule or otherwise manage his addiction yourself: it's not going to happen. If you truly believe that he wants to rid himself of this addiction to pills, then it will go further than you could even imagine to offer to walk the walk with him.
Then, despite what you may try & how hard you may try it, you need to be prepared for him to go back on everything you've attempted & then some.
My husband, too, used to steal MY pain meds, lie about it first, & then beg me to hold onto his own Suboxone, count them & dispense them to him.
Same goes for booze, cigarettes, you name it. No matter HOW many times he told me he "didn't want to be dependent on anything", in the end, he would simply cover his tracks as he traded one vice for another.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "I don't want to be dependent on.." or "I can just quit cold-turkey, I know I can"...I would be beyond rich.
Whatever course of action you take, do not take it by yourself. Then it becomes a cat & mouse game-he said, she said, & that is a game that no one wins.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 8
On day 3 now. He's definitely got some withdrawal going on but so far it's not too bad. I tried talking him into trying a different therapist, but as of right now he won't even consider it. If/when he takes pills again, I'll bring it up again because at that point I'll have more reason to get him to go. He is doing good so far.
I do agree it isn't helping that I have a constant supply of pain meds. However, in the next 2 months I'm seeing 2 different specialists who hopefully will have some ideas. It sounds like I'll be having surgery, possibly two surgeries, in an attempt to get my pain under control. So there is hope that at some point I'll be able to be off the pain meds for good. We'll see.
I hate that everyone says it's only this way or that way. I understand addiction has a powerful hold, but I also know everyone is different. I don't know if the way we're doing it will work, but I certainly hope it does.
I do agree it isn't helping that I have a constant supply of pain meds. However, in the next 2 months I'm seeing 2 different specialists who hopefully will have some ideas. It sounds like I'll be having surgery, possibly two surgeries, in an attempt to get my pain under control. So there is hope that at some point I'll be able to be off the pain meds for good. We'll see.
I hate that everyone says it's only this way or that way. I understand addiction has a powerful hold, but I also know everyone is different. I don't know if the way we're doing it will work, but I certainly hope it does.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
If you want some more info on non-religion based recovery programs you can hop over to the Secular Connections for Friends and Family forum on here. A lot of people over there use some different methods you may be interested in finding out about, and many of them are full of great information!
Tight hugs to you. You are not alone!
Tight hugs to you. You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Here's the thing...you may THINK it's only been a couple of months, because that's when you noticed.
And he may tell you what you want to hear.
But chances are, it's been going on much longer than you think, it's just that he's now been caught.
And he may tell you what you want to hear.
But chances are, it's been going on much longer than you think, it's just that he's now been caught.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Hi all.. some of you know me and my Hubby.. kids if you are going to get off the stuff you have to realize the problems you are doing to your family and yourself... I had to see a Doctor yesterday. have had a bladder problem once every 3 months since Jan.. that is when Ed started to quite the morphine.. he had been dosing me everytime we made love with out us realizing this.. I am in a form of withdrawal.. the Doctor was amazed when they ran my urine for op's.. never concidered the fact this would happen..
He has to have help.. this is not an easy withdrawal and the more he and you try to do it on your own the less that it will be a good path..
Prayers kids and beans and so much love to you all ...ardy
He has to have help.. this is not an easy withdrawal and the more he and you try to do it on your own the less that it will be a good path..
Prayers kids and beans and so much love to you all ...ardy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
