pinkpolkadot

Hello..I decided today I have to try and admit and not be so gullible believing every word my husband says.thinking he would never lie,steal my pills. My sons pills..anything he finds..I drive myself crazy telling myself "I must have misplaced them or they disappeared on their own.because he would never " hurt us.or lie to me on purpose.but now i know I need to make changes for myself,my kids,my marriage. ..I guess I'min the stage where I need to learn about addiction.because I'm in the stage feeling heartbroken,sorry for myself,sad.. I met my husband 7 years thru a coworker . .both in different relationships at the time...we became best friends.I still remember when he expressed his feelings towards and how happy and excited because i felt the same way.we fell in love..moved into a house and 6 months later got married..I knew my husband did pills before i met him.believing he quit but instead he stole my pain pills.friends pills.my sons adderall.my pain pils after my surgerys.we ended up losing our house and had to move to hotel but we made it through..but now im beginning to notice hes stealing pills .high..i dont know where and what to do..please help.thank youl.

CodeJob

Welcome to SR Pink,

You sound heart broken and worn down. There is a lot of information here on addiction. Read.

Can you see a counselor using employee assistance program (EAP) or insurance? It would be good for you to have someone objective and able to help,you piece together a clear view and action plan. Al Anon is a worth trying for sure.

glad you posted!

Ann

I kept myself in denial for a long time because facing the truth that my son was getting worse, not better, was too painful to accept.

What helped me was going to meetings where I could safely share with others who had been where I was and where I learned a whole new way of living a healthy life and where I found the courage to do so. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that have helped so many of us.

Take a read around and you will see that you're not alone here, others have been through this too and although the pain of leaving was difficult, the pain of staying was worse when the addict remained in active addiction.

Welcome to SR, I hope you find comfort and knowledge here.

Hugs

pinkpolkadot

Well today was another day filled with fighting.myhusband throwing things,saying mean things to me and threatening to leave as he started packing his things.it was spirally out of control so I took the kids and left for the day..then later he apologizes like nothing.but it is something cuz I don't even know who Iam anymore..im so wore down and broken.part ofme is aafraid to imagine my life without him cuz Itruly love him morethan anything.but deep down I realized its time.its time to get myself and kids afloat again. I don'tknow how but iI know it needs to be done cuz its only getting worse.but I love my husband so much.aaddiction is such a horrible disease..I just wish I could "fix" but Iknow iI can't..

hopeful4

Addiction is awful. I just want you to know you are not alone. When my little daughter had surgery she was prescribed pain medication that she did not require (Thank God), however, don't you know, my X took his own daughter's pain medication! It goes on and on and on.

Read the stickies. Educated yourself as much as possible and start taking care of YOU.

Glad you are here!

pinkpolkadot

So I wrote a long letter to my husband about his drug addiction and my love for him but also that if chooses not to get help .thenhe will have to leave.i Just don't know how or when should iI give him this.is it best he reads it on his own?or I read it to him??iI'm so scared..scared that he will rrefuse help again.aand then Ineed to find the strength to have him leave....hardest thing I've ever had to deal with

maia1234

P- I am so sorry for your pain. There is nothing worse then loving an addict. All I want to say, is if you threaten you have to follow through. You need a plan. Do you have a place to stay? Any money put away? Do you work or have a car to take care of you and your kids?

Your Husband is an addict and asking him to just stop for "you" is virtually impossible for him. Those pills are like air and water to us, he needs them and will do all to get them. So if you threaten you have to have a plan because I can almost guarantee you that he will not stop, or will lie and say he did.

My XAH asked me for 5 pain pills after I had surgery in December. He took 10. What ever, he I guess needed them more then me, as i never took 1.

You need to reach out and get some help, the baby pinkpolkadots need a healthy mom to go through what you are going to have to go through. Hugs my friend, life will calm down if you stick around!!

pinkpolkadot

Thank u to everyone for all kind words and support.I feel at ease here because people understand vs my family,friends that think my husband is just a horrible person..yes he's a drug addict..but deep down he is the most loving amazing father and husband..tonight I told him we had to talk in the morning .I'm very scared. ...luckily the car is in my name.cuz I'm not sure how he will react..as far as help for myself where do i even begin...meetings??how do i get passed this??thanks everyone..D
O

hopeful4

Honey, just be prepared to follow through after you give him that letter. Don't say it if you don't mean it. I say this b/c I've done the same. I thought my desperation would make him find his "bottom." The sad reality is, some of them don't have a bottom. When I did things like this and did not follow through, it just made him hide his addiction even more and made me feel more crazy day by day.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Many hugs to you!

pinkpolkadot

Yesterday morning I read the long letter I wrote him . .Itold iIfelt he needed professional help.and if he choose not to iI could not stay with him..during our convo he really ddidn't say much....then he admitted he was embarrassed I found out and confronted him. Not sure what to think about it all. Not sure what to do now..he did tell me he'd"_work on it"..just dont know.please help