selpats

It's only been a week, and my ex has already disrespected my wishes and my boundaries. The last thing I said to him was really more of a request when I asked him to please leave me alone. This morning he texted me and asked if I had any of his clothes. So much for "don't contact me". I found this to be pretty ridiculous. I know he doesn't actually care about getting his clothes back, and it was silly of him to ask in the first place because he knows that I have them.

It was really similar to the last time he tried contacting me after our first break up. He kept texting me asking me about really random things that I knew he didn't really care about until he got me warmed up enough to agree to see him. I am a little shocked that he was so quick to break my no contact rule this time. I'm honestly just fed up. I asked him to leave me alone, and he can't even do that one thing for me. I can't for the life of me even imagine why he would think he would get a response and what he even wanted to come from that situation. I guess it's possible that he really does just want this clothes back, but I doubt it.

Anyway, I didn't respond. I'm thinking about just mailing his clothes to him, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder why I would take any of my own time or money to do something for him. What difference does it make anyway? He probably won't get any of it back.

Refiner

He's always "warmed you up" in the past, so of course he thinks he will again. Why not block him?

FeelingGreat

The best way to lose him is to tidy up all the loose ends like the clothes etc. then you can block him.

allmirages

Selpats - it is so unfair of him to put you in this rollercoaster situation...he pushes you away, then sucks you back in, then breaks it off again, then comes up with a reason to initiate contact. It seems to be a way of control or manipulation. I can tell from your posts that you are seeing through his actions, please stay strong. You deserve so very much more than someone that will play games with your head and your heart!

hopeful4

I personally would notify him that you are leaving all of his belongings at X place (it could be your front porch for a day, etc), and he has 24 hours to come get them or you donate them. Then he has no reason to contact you again, ever.

Hugs to you.

zoso77

Change your number. Problem solved.

mnh1982

If you have things of his, get rid of them. If you have his number, delete it.
Tiny inconsequential things like belongings are always, always a way for someone to try & weasel their way back into your life & test your response to them. Don't let him have that power over you anymore.

selpats

I definitely see through his bull. I don't know why he initiated contact again after only a week when he seemed so set on his decision at the time, but I do know that he's not getting back into my life so easily. He's an idiot if he thinks that. I may not have shown much respect for myself by letting him back into my life, but I do have it. I'm remembering who I am and that includes gaining back my self-respect.

Honestly, there aren't many bad feelings. I don't hate him. I just don't care. I feel comfortable saying I couldn't care less, in fact. I don't want to delete his number or change mine or anything like that because it doesn't feel necessary. For now, I may just block his number, but I don't even feel tempted to be in contact with him. Not even a little. It's actually really empowering being able to ignore him for once, as bad as that may sound.

The only way he's getting his clothes back is if I mail them to his house because I don't want to set myself back by talking to him. And like I said above, I'm not sure I really want to dedicate my time, energy and money into making sure he gets back clothes I know for a fact he doesn't care about. The last thing I said to him was to leave me alone and I assumed he didn't answer me because he was respecting my wishes. Little did I know that I overestimated his humanity yet again. I'm so over his crap.

secondwind

How frustrating when our wishes aren't respected.
My ex was only allowed to communicate through email. This allowed me piece.
What we have to remember though, is we have no control over anyone and their actions. No power to demand they follow our rules.
"No contact" is best implemented when we decide it means "I will no longer be in contact with you." Normally it fails when we say "you are not allowed to contact me."
As for his items.. make your new life and no contact a fresh one. If he left the items there by choice... donate them. If he never had the choice to get the items... mail them to him.
Clutter makes for an unhealthy life. The time and energy gathering his items together, is well spent getting it out of your home.