dealing with their anger
 

My xah is REALLY angry. I can just feel it every time I see him.

I know there is nothing I can do to make him feel better. I know that his anger towards me is unfair and ridiculous. Basically I feel as though he is delusional and needs to get help. There is so much buried emotion in him...I mean his father abandoned his family and was an alcoholic. He just pushes it down. He has no self esteem. He is so unhappy and so angry. It is sad to see.

Due to having a child together and still having love for him (not wanting to get back love, but just love for him as an old friend/human) I have to see him once a week. He tries super hard to be cordial and kind, but I can just feel it. He is boiling.

Again, there is nothing I can do for him. Sadly for him, I have let go. I am in a really good mental place and am really happy. I have surrounded myself with positive happy people. People who are kind.

How do I let go even further?
What are ways to not even let his anger bother me ...ever?
In a way I'm scared of letting go to the point I forget about him, but I feel I am almost there.
I still have a need to try and help him, although I know better than to act on it.
I want to move on 100%. Unfortunately and sadly, he is a hot mess.
Has anyone ever felt they were at this point of being ready to fully let go, but still holding on a little bit...scared and sad of really saying goodbye to that relationship?

It is his life and his choices, and I have no control of it. I can only control my life ( to a certain extent) and I don't want or need negative energy. But we have a young child together...so I have to see him/deal with him. I just don't want to worry or care anymore that he is mad. That's his deal...not mine. I'm almost there...but not quite...

When I was going through this with my ex, I would picture a box in my mind. And I would take his crap, his anger and negativity, and mentally put it in that box. Then I would mentally write "Return to Sender" on the box and let it go. Sounds simplistic, but this visualization really helped me -- it became second nature.

do you "sense" that he has all this angst inside of him, or does he demonstrate his anger in outward acts? is he directly unkind to you? you said he is cordial and kind at the weekly visits. i wonder as you two drift further and further apart if you are still looking for things you can FIX in him to keep him close and to keep yourself somewhat enmeshed?

bottom line, his stuff is HIS STUFF. and he will deal with it however HE deems fit to do so. every person has the absolute right to NOT deal with stuff. and they can drag as much baggage around with them as they can haul. and they can remain complicated messes of humanity.

HE may think he is doing just fine. regardless, unless you are being treated unpoorly BY him or you fear your child is in danger, then it just isn't your problem anymore.