Please Help With Setting Boundaries

Old 06-18-2015, 08:48 PM
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Please Help With Setting Boundaries

I re-read some more of my threads and posts and I feel like I'm not quite as strong as I used to be since I haven't been getting my daily dose of SR or working on my own codie recovery in quite a while; however I am no longer agonizing over whether or not to end it all with my AH! As one person put it.....Wild horses could not drag me away from divorcing him!!!! And I DO NOT care what his family thinks of me! They can kiss my big toe for being so self-righteous and judgmental and having their double standards. Finally, I will not let AH's emotions or actions cause me to pity him. I'm done with him and them., I'd like to get moving forward and think I should begin with setting some healthy boundaries for me and my sons. This is where I need your help, please. Here's what I have so far:

I will not be manipulated by AH and therefore, will request the No Contact Order in place right now through our divorce case to remain in place even after it is finalized. (This is a big one! This is how he got me last time. Incessant texts and phone calls in the middle of the night of him crying along with him just stopping by my house at all hours of the night banging on my door)

I will not allow AH to come to my home. I will not allow anyone who is under the influence of drugs to come to my home or be around my children (I don't really know anyone else who uses but this boundary can't hurt.)

I will continue to use the Court as a resource to help keep my children safe by reporting each and every time AH and his family violate Court Orders.

I will begin to bring emotional health into my life by working on me and my co-dependent issues.

Ok, that's all I've got. I don't want to bite off more than I can chew and I don't know if I'm mixing up Boundaries with Goals, so please feel free to give me your very much coveted advice.

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Old 06-19-2015, 05:27 AM
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Good morning FaithLove,

Coming back to SR and your plan of action above with boundaries look strong to me. Go do the paperwork as needed. Good job!
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Old 06-20-2015, 09:53 AM
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be prepared to follow thru when these are broken - no excuses, or he will walk all over you again. Good luck, please keep us updated hugs to you and your children.
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Old 06-21-2015, 07:11 AM
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Sounds like an excellent plan--wishing you strength.

Your kids will benefit hugely without his negative disruptive influence.

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