Watching your family crash and burn
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2
Watching your family crash and burn
I'm watching my brothe-n-law crash and taking my sweet sister-n-law with him! His gambling and using (?) who knows really meth I know at times! She has decided to stick by him he's been out of work and she has job but, recently injured herself so she is out of work! I have paid their water bill to keep from getting turned off! Given gro money to her.
I know I should stop all financial help! He has been in and out of hospital due to various things! I had major confrontation with him on phone few weeks ago about if he needed a safe person to call me I would come get him. He step over a line with one of her family members hurt her deeply. But, she will see him through 33 years together and 3 kids all out of school now. Why is it so hard to stand by and do tuff love! I know to do it just breaking my heart!
I know I should stop all financial help! He has been in and out of hospital due to various things! I had major confrontation with him on phone few weeks ago about if he needed a safe person to call me I would come get him. He step over a line with one of her family members hurt her deeply. But, she will see him through 33 years together and 3 kids all out of school now. Why is it so hard to stand by and do tuff love! I know to do it just breaking my heart!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello Watching,
I think in your post above you are doing a good job limiting your financial support.
It really is painful to watch a family in crisis. Reaching out to her and letting her know you are available to come and get her is very kind. (I think this is what you mean in your post) When I finally called home for help, my father did not understand the depth of what was going on and blew me off. So letting her know you are there in her corner might someday be her escape.
Peace,
I think in your post above you are doing a good job limiting your financial support.
It really is painful to watch a family in crisis. Reaching out to her and letting her know you are available to come and get her is very kind. (I think this is what you mean in your post) When I finally called home for help, my father did not understand the depth of what was going on and blew me off. So letting her know you are there in her corner might someday be her escape.
Peace,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2
Thank you, this is an awesome place I've learned a lot because I also have Adult son! Coming home soon from work release and I think I'm stressing some what. Watching others in the depths of additive behavior is painful! But, I've learned to love the person but, not the behavior.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Tuff love is hard. You view her as the innocent victim in this so you want to help her out yet she also has to be accountable for her choices. At this point in time she is choosing to go down with the ship. You providing her comfort on her way down isn’t going to want to make her jump off to save herself.
Maybe see if there are any al-anon meeting in your area and see if you can get her to go with you.
Maybe see if there are any al-anon meeting in your area and see if you can get her to go with you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
I dispense advice a hell of a lot better than I take it.
Suffice to say it is terribly, terribly difficult to watch
someone throw away the gains of generations.
We want to scream at them. Do you think this is a joke?
Do you think you get a do-over? Do you think that cratering
out of the middle class is going to be fun?
But alas. As loud as we care to scream, there is nobody listening..
Suffice to say it is terribly, terribly difficult to watch
someone throw away the gains of generations.
We want to scream at them. Do you think this is a joke?
Do you think you get a do-over? Do you think that cratering
out of the middle class is going to be fun?
But alas. As loud as we care to scream, there is nobody listening..
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
