Destroyed

So after not speaking for over two months the soon to be ex-AW sent me an email.

Little back story, I work over seas and we had a big fight when I found out she was cheating when I was away at work, after the fight we did not speak for two months. This is on top of all the lying, stealing, and everything else from the opiate addiction. I am getting ready to come home, which she does not know, and out of the blue she sends an email from an address I have never seen before telling me, "If u need to get in touch with me I can email me at this email. I don't have the ********* one anymore" the other email address referred to her and I and she has not used it in years, so just trying to be mean. I hate the fact she is just trying to get a reaction and be hateful to me. I have not bothered her, called, or anything...no contact the whole way.

I found out her and her new friend started talking right after her rehab where I think they met, and I guess it built up from there. I have the feeling he is enabling her and there is where the relationship must have developed.

I guess you can say it is a blow to my ego that my AW has basically left me for an addict. So as of now she is out of my house and moving on with her life, I find it hard to understand that addicts will walk through someone's life and leave a train wreck behind. In the mean time I am left with the mess of the divorce, house, and everything else....the woman even took my dogs!

zoso77

Well, as someone that was also dumped for another addict, I empathize with you. Initially, something like this is going to sting.

But with that said, there is more to her than drug addiction. What may that be?

I encourage you to pick up a copy of Stop Walking on Eggshells and I Hate You...Don't Leave Me. Read them carefully. And when you're done, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

In the meantime, take a step back and practice not taking this personally. This isn't about you, man. Trust me on this.

anxiouswife2

Although my addict didnt "leave" me for another addict, he was sleeping with one, which i found out much later...

i read something which really hit home to me. an active addict is pretty damn close to a sociopath - all emotions, empathy have been stripped and they are completely able & sometimes it seems, willing, to "walk through someones life and leave a train wreck behind." The responsibility of picking up the pieces was the parting gift i got, too.
seems like a pretty common trend here...

here's to hoping you stay solid in your commitment to no contact. its tough, but a year from now, you'll be glad you stuck it out.

atalose

Maybe she is not being hateful or trying to get a reaction out of you. But rather providing you a means of contact so that you can.............

Take care of this and move on.

I am very sorry your marriage has ended and you are hurting.