Been away for almost 2 months
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 177
Been away for almost 2 months
Hello forum. I've been away from this site for almost 2 months now. So much has transpired, I needed to let things settle before I came back. So much to do, only so many hours in a day. You will forgive me if I don't rehash my story, I believe folks can read my previous posts if they are interested.
To make a long story short, a couple of months ago, I was in fear every day for my dear 2 YO granddaughters' welfare as my AS and his GF are both H addicts. They were on the verge of eviction, my son had active warrants and they were going no where fast.
Fast forward a bit....their electricity was shut off the end of March, resulting in a phone call from my son asking us to take the baby "for a bit" as it was cold, and with no electricity there was no heat. Well, that was the start of things, and we have had her ever since. My DH ended up moving all of their things out of the apt, and into storage (basically by himself). The reason being, we are on the lease, and the landlord is a good friend of ours who gave them a chance, which they obviously blew. Our friend just wanted them gone, and my DH got everything packed up and moved out so he could have the place back to rent out to someone else who will actually pay the rent.
The Dept of Children & Family Svcs was contacted (by more than one party) and is now involved. I worried for a few days that they would try to come pick her up, but an "alert" was placed on the file, so that if they attempted to come get her, we could call police to prevent it from happening. this was a temporary measure until we could go to court to get "temporary legal custody" which we did a couple of weeks ago.
She has been with us almost 6 weeks now. It's quite an adjustment at our age, and thank god for my mom, sister, and neighbor who have stepped up to help with child care as my DH and I both work full time.
My AS was picked up on his warrant 2.5 weeks ago. He is currently held without bail until a bed in rehab is available. He is facing a possible revocation on his probation which has an underlying sentence of 3-7 years. His GF checked into rehab last Fri.
So........countless appointments, missed work, court, etc have kept me away for a bit. I am back and will try to stay active when I can...
I've missed you all and the support I received during my brief membership here. Glad to be back and I hope I didn't worry anyone with my absence........
WWD
To make a long story short, a couple of months ago, I was in fear every day for my dear 2 YO granddaughters' welfare as my AS and his GF are both H addicts. They were on the verge of eviction, my son had active warrants and they were going no where fast.
Fast forward a bit....their electricity was shut off the end of March, resulting in a phone call from my son asking us to take the baby "for a bit" as it was cold, and with no electricity there was no heat. Well, that was the start of things, and we have had her ever since. My DH ended up moving all of their things out of the apt, and into storage (basically by himself). The reason being, we are on the lease, and the landlord is a good friend of ours who gave them a chance, which they obviously blew. Our friend just wanted them gone, and my DH got everything packed up and moved out so he could have the place back to rent out to someone else who will actually pay the rent.
The Dept of Children & Family Svcs was contacted (by more than one party) and is now involved. I worried for a few days that they would try to come pick her up, but an "alert" was placed on the file, so that if they attempted to come get her, we could call police to prevent it from happening. this was a temporary measure until we could go to court to get "temporary legal custody" which we did a couple of weeks ago.
She has been with us almost 6 weeks now. It's quite an adjustment at our age, and thank god for my mom, sister, and neighbor who have stepped up to help with child care as my DH and I both work full time.
My AS was picked up on his warrant 2.5 weeks ago. He is currently held without bail until a bed in rehab is available. He is facing a possible revocation on his probation which has an underlying sentence of 3-7 years. His GF checked into rehab last Fri.
So........countless appointments, missed work, court, etc have kept me away for a bit. I am back and will try to stay active when I can...
I've missed you all and the support I received during my brief membership here. Glad to be back and I hope I didn't worry anyone with my absence........
WWD
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 177
Once the mom realized DCF had become involved, things got rather ugly. My AS, on the other hand, acknowledged his daughter was "where she needs to be right now" and begged me not to let her go into foster care. After some scathing voice mail messages from the mom, threatening that" once she got her hands on her daughter, I would never ever see her again" things have currently settled down a bit. At least for now.
My biggest fear is that if my son receives a lengthy sentence, his parental rights may be terminated, and that the mom will get her $hit together just long enough to get her daughter back, and disappear back into that dark world of addiction.
As my therapist would say "come back, come back to now..." I try to stay in the present every single day........
My biggest fear is that if my son receives a lengthy sentence, his parental rights may be terminated, and that the mom will get her $hit together just long enough to get her daughter back, and disappear back into that dark world of addiction.
As my therapist would say "come back, come back to now..." I try to stay in the present every single day........
happy, joyous an free!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 693
WWD i am so sorry for all your troubles. i've been away for a bit and just got access again. as tough as i'm sure it is i am so happy your GD is with you. and i'm very glad DCF is involved for the little one's sake and really for your peace of mind too because they will help monitor any future activities with her mom. did you have them listen to the voice mails? the more they know the more they can be of help.
i spent a few years protecting my GD from the chaos of addiction starting when she was just under two. they really need us when they are so vulnerable. not only for general care and safety but as examples of stability and consistent love and to help them have a healthy self image and world view. i had to help my little one laugh and relax and learn to sleep peacefully..... my heart is with you and yours. don't underestimate how important your little one's time with you is. i'm sooo glad she has you and all the extended family to give her a taste of real childhood before it was stolen forever.
and we do get through it. my GD is 6 now and i am still a big part of her life but both her parents are in a better place and i can relax a bit and give most of the parenting back to them. yet because of my 'interference' when things were bad there are checks and balances in place to keep her safe.
sending you hugs and hope and strength... soak up the joy from your little miracle! and thank you for being there for her.
i spent a few years protecting my GD from the chaos of addiction starting when she was just under two. they really need us when they are so vulnerable. not only for general care and safety but as examples of stability and consistent love and to help them have a healthy self image and world view. i had to help my little one laugh and relax and learn to sleep peacefully..... my heart is with you and yours. don't underestimate how important your little one's time with you is. i'm sooo glad she has you and all the extended family to give her a taste of real childhood before it was stolen forever.
and we do get through it. my GD is 6 now and i am still a big part of her life but both her parents are in a better place and i can relax a bit and give most of the parenting back to them. yet because of my 'interference' when things were bad there are checks and balances in place to keep her safe.
sending you hugs and hope and strength... soak up the joy from your little miracle! and thank you for being there for her.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 177
Thanks lovenjoy!
This is difficult. I love my gd with all my heart, but honestly this is a huge lifestyle adjustment. We will get through it one day at as time.
I have days, like yesterday, where I am quite honestly PO'd at things like having to drive my gd an hour to rehab to see her mom right in the middle of what should be naptime in what is now her very routine life. Things like this sometimes anger me. A little life disrupted because of choices her parents made. Today I'm feeling more positive, but these are the things that sometimes irritate me.
Seemingly small things in the whole bigger picture...I know...
This is difficult. I love my gd with all my heart, but honestly this is a huge lifestyle adjustment. We will get through it one day at as time.
I have days, like yesterday, where I am quite honestly PO'd at things like having to drive my gd an hour to rehab to see her mom right in the middle of what should be naptime in what is now her very routine life. Things like this sometimes anger me. A little life disrupted because of choices her parents made. Today I'm feeling more positive, but these are the things that sometimes irritate me.
Seemingly small things in the whole bigger picture...I know...
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