I'm Ready To Divorce And Yet Don't Know Where To Start
 

So I decided today. I am done done.

I am ready to divorce.

However I do not currently have the £400 odd it costs here in the UK. I've read around a bit and it looks as though you cannot get legal aid anymore.

I also need to order a copy of the marriage certificate. I have a feeling he removed it from my stuff before I collected it.

Our situation is relatively simple compared to some, there are no children or no real assets to speak of. He currently has the car, however he can keep it if it means I can be released from this easily.

I am unsure whether to do a DIT Divorce and apply to the courts myself. The petition looks relatively simple.

The only complication might be his denial that he is using (my reason for divorcing him). The marriage has broken down irretrievably. I also suspect adultery (however how could I prove that??).

There is a record of him being admitted to hospital in October when he attempted detox from H, and there is also a fairly long medical record of him using a methadone substitute (he slipped through the net somehow and they forgot to take him off it!). However I do not know the details of exactly when they stopped prescribing that.

I have NO experience of this kind of thing and feel unsure about where to start.

In the US we have irreconcilable differences. Just covers the whole gambit of why you are getting a divorce.

When I got divorced it was because of adultery, and the ex probably would have fessed up to it, but that's the route I went as to prevent any shenanigans.

Hope this helps a little :) be strong!

Carmenlove ... where there's a will, there's a way!

You can do this on your own. Hopefully he will not respond and the divorce will automatically be signed.

I am sorry for you :( it is a painful thing to go through.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

Thank you JOIE,

That means a lot. x

Carmen love, sometimes making the decision is much harder than making it happen. You have made the decision , the rest will fall into place. Remember you don't have to have everything happen today, be proud that you have decided what you want and need. My strength to you today .

In the states, the filing for divorce starts the legal separation period. This period affects your taxes, what support is paid, and (most important) is the official beginning of your re-defining yourself outside of the marriage.
As this is very important to you, explore any source that can get you the 400 pounds. It's a lot right now. In the rest of your life, not so much.
Be well.

Horsegirl,

Thank you. This helps. I really needed that strength yesterday. Today I am feeling stronger again.

Thanks for the reality check. It is true. :You_Rock_

Dear CarmenLove, I'm not sure how this works either, and I'm certainly not a lawyer. However upon some reading it seems that you could file on the ground of unreasonable behaviours (including physical/verbal abuse and drug taking...)

You might want to check your work benefits to see if they offer assistance with legal issues. Look up local organizations who provide help to emotionally/physically abused people (most of us who live with substance abusers at least fall into the emotionally abused category.) They should at least be able to give you some guidance on where to look for more information if not actual legal help with the case. In rare occasions you might be able to get a lawyer to take your case pro bono.

In the mean time, just gather any pieces of evidence you have, document everything you know about his behaviours - the more detailed the better. Whether you file for the divorce on your own or get some legal help elsewhere, the more information you can provide, the more it's going to help your case.

Good luck and big hugs to you.

Here in the states, or at least in the state I live in, they actually put the entire procedure of doing it yourself, along w/the appropriate forms that will need to be filled out, online. It's pretty great.

Good luck to you!!! XXX