Please remind me again
 

Guess I am having one of those nights were everything seems so blurry and crazy. Spoke with my ex BFA mom this week. He and his " using friend" had been thrown out of his brothers house last week. His mom was terrified he was headed into a spiral.

As it turns out he showed up at her house last week and sought accommodations ,as a package deal for he and his woman. His mom has allowed them to stay but is distraught as she said he is flailing in chaos and neither of them are clean nor have any direction.

What bothers me the most is how he latched on to this person 3 days after meeting her and hasn't looked back. I know everyone says it is the addiction, but isn't there always someone to use with? It still breaks my heart and spirit that he ended our friendship, above all else, over her.

Yes, I know there is no forever in their future, but I just don't get the attraction. It makes me feel like crap!

You need to cut all contact.

Yea it hurts and it sucks like crazy..but you will only prolong the agony by keeping in touch w/his mother for the play by play.
??
Why do this to yourself?

And as far as his new woman --he's AN ADDICT. He's on brain and emotional altering substances. Who knows what he's thinking or feeling. Most likely - he's NUMBING it all out.

I'm sorry you're in pain, I also was shut out in a similar scenario and it hurt like hell... but I found it much easier to leave and cut ALL ties.

I suppose his mom and I have been supporting one another since he and I were friends for so long. She has tried to remind me that this is a a blessing for me, which I know, but the lack of reason astounds me.

She even said that unless he ever returns to his "right" mind none of us may ever have any of the answers we are seeking.

I sure wish I could numb my pain, but I just don't have the same desires as he has to seek out substances. Grrrrrrrrr....��

It's hard when you are close to the family... But maybe your contact with her is not helping you.
I also felt gutted not keeping in touch w/some of his fam - but I knew I couldn't do so w/o hearing all about him- and that just felt like worse torture.

I thought too- how unfair- he just gets to move on like nothing. Maybe I should numb out too..
But I've gone no contact for 2 mos and it honestly has gotten much easier.

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm almost obsessed with his relationship with that woman. I just want to know how he moved on so effortlessly and why. Did anyone else experience these feelings or thoughts?

Yes. Which is part of what led me to seek help for myself. I needed to focus on my role in everything and why I made the choices I did. The more you take care of you, the easier it becomes to not drive yourself crazy over someone else. I still have my moments but I process and work through them much quicker than before.