atalose

At some point it has to stop being about them. About what they are doing, saying, acting and trying to second guess the thoughts of someone who is not firmly on recovery ground.

Rather then ask what he is trying to do, ask yourself:

What are your expectations with this guy?

What about your recovery on your codependency?

How do you feel about being de-classified to "friend"?

Do you want to be that woman sitting and waiting on the back burner for him to maybe want a real mature mutually loving relationship with you? Or will the very real reality of the relationship you had with him these past 8 years be the crystal ball of what your future will hold?

It's not about what he wants or what he says or does this is YOUR life and it's about what YOU want.

Chino

Since he started using in his teens, and it doesn't sound like he's had any significant and successful periods of recovery, he has the emotional maturity of a teenager. Let that sink in for a bit then ask yourself if that's what you want in a relationship.