update on letters from AH in prison
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Darlington
Posts: 175
update on letters from AH in prison
Well I have written back to AH and told him I have been seeing someone else while we were and are separated. He has written back saying he could never forgive me for kissing or being with another man. His reason is that it wasn't him and he has woke up. he also saying he wants to see my daughter and tell her he loves her but that we are no longer together.
My response was it was you and your complete utter disregard for me and my daughter left me so low that I did look for comfort elsewhere and that's as a result of the emotional abuse I suffered at his hands.
I have also said that he can't see my daughter cause I know he wants me to be the reason that we have ended and not take into account his actions that drove me to it.
I reflected we have been there for 4 years and you didn't care then so what's different now.
My counsellor said something good which may help others.
It's okay for him to hurt you over and over but your not allowed to hurt him ?
I feel I can move on now ... I think I always needed him to let me go which he has. I feel relief
My response was it was you and your complete utter disregard for me and my daughter left me so low that I did look for comfort elsewhere and that's as a result of the emotional abuse I suffered at his hands.
I have also said that he can't see my daughter cause I know he wants me to be the reason that we have ended and not take into account his actions that drove me to it.
I reflected we have been there for 4 years and you didn't care then so what's different now.
My counsellor said something good which may help others.
It's okay for him to hurt you over and over but your not allowed to hurt him ?
I feel I can move on now ... I think I always needed him to let me go which he has. I feel relief
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
What the counselor said does help.Thanks!
My son has stolen from me and I've considered stealing something from him. Except right now he has nothing to steal! Don't know if I could do it but just want him to know how it feels.
Kari
My son has stolen from me and I've considered stealing something from him. Except right now he has nothing to steal! Don't know if I could do it but just want him to know how it feels.
Kari
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Darlington
Posts: 175
Thanks hopeful.... I woke up the other morning and he was gone out of my head. I am now seeing all the appalling ways he treated me and thinking he is not the man of my dreams he is selfish and does not deserve my love or head space.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
My counselor said something good which may help others.
It's okay for him to hurt you over and over but your not allowed to hurt him ?
It's okay for him to hurt you over and over but your not allowed to hurt him ?
In my view, everything comes back to every decision we make has intended and unintended consequences. Someone in active addiction operates in a chemically induced bubble where they believe that rule does not apply. But then they're shocked -- SHOCKED!! -- when their behavior comes back to bite them in the arse.
I hope for his sake he begins the long process of recovery. And I hope for your sake that he does that as far away from you as possible.
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