im so scared.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Welcome to the forum IMHSM. It sounds like your boyfriend is doing what he thinks is needed under the circumstances.
Stick around and meet some of our members who have been ( or are) where you are.
(((Hugs)))
Stick around and meet some of our members who have been ( or are) where you are.
(((Hugs)))
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by imisshimsomuch 
My boyfriend went to rehab Monday. It's a 6-9 month program. He's addicted to heroin and spice and Idk how to cope with him being gone. please help.
I bet you're really, really scared, and it's understandable why you would be. But I'd like you to consider a couple of things.
Assuming that he's serious about recovery, it's good that he's chosen to seek that sort of treatment. The status quo is no longer viable for him on many levels, and it's the status quo -- active addiction -- that prevents him from being a mature, committed, responsible romantic partner.
You now have a opportunity to do some work on yourself. I'm aware this is an opportunity you really didn't want, but at this moment, you don't really have a choice. You might as well make the best of this.
None of us know what's going to happen in the next 6-9 months. That's out of your control. The only thing you can control is your choices and your actions, and I would use this time to start taking care of you and allow your ABF the space to work on his recovery.
Read as many posts as you can and become familiar with what you're up against. You can get through this, provided you put you first.
Again, Welcome to the Board.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It is good news that he has gone to rehab, he needs to kick his addiction and this is an excellent way to do it.
I know you are scared being alone, but maybe find some support for yourself too, perhaps al-anon, nar-anon or CoDA, and give your own recovery a try so that when he is finished his program you will be healthy again as well.
You didn't say whether you use drugs too, but if you do maybe now would be a good time to find a program for yourself to address that, like NA or AA. Also, the Salvation Army has a free and very good rehab program.
Stick around, we are all here to support you and help you cope with difficult times.
Hugs
I know you are scared being alone, but maybe find some support for yourself too, perhaps al-anon, nar-anon or CoDA, and give your own recovery a try so that when he is finished his program you will be healthy again as well.
You didn't say whether you use drugs too, but if you do maybe now would be a good time to find a program for yourself to address that, like NA or AA. Also, the Salvation Army has a free and very good rehab program.
Stick around, we are all here to support you and help you cope with difficult times.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 430
Yeah, it's a big change for him to be gone, I'm sure.
My addict husband started a program on Monday, too. It's a full-day outpatient program and they said they want him to attend at least for 3 weeks. Then they'll reassess.
Currently my husband mixes pills with alcohol. Pot and mushrooms have been in the picture recently, too. He also has a long history of using many other drugs (acid, mushrooms, pot, heroin od that landed him in the hospital, 2 DUIs). Addiction lives on...
But it was a big deal for me when he went in on Monday. It was so weird to be home and him not be there. I thought I'd be able to get a lot done, but what I found was the case was that I just needed to cry and lay around and pet my cat and rest. I was EXHAUSTED from all the drama that had led to the point of him finally going into a program and all of my codependent behaviors that were super flared up.
So this whole week has kind of been a blur for me -- I didn't accomplish much of anything that I thought I might...
But!!
I did go to Al-Anon meetings.
I did rest in my bed.
I did journal.
I did breathe.
I did read posts here on the SR board.
I did make sure that I ate good food.
I did let myself cry when I needed to.
His being gone gives me even more of an opportunity to focus on helping myself feel better. As the others have said in their replies, this is a great opportunity for you to start healing the parts of you that have been hurt in your relationship with your bf. The support meetings they've suggested sound like good thing to explore.
I've been to like 6 Al-Anon meetings since xmas and I had been SO depressed. I cried at every single meeting. Until this morning!
AT this morning's meeting I was actually smiling and able to share that I'm feeling a little bit happier. A little less scared and depressed.
I totally didn't see it coming, but my efforts to take care of myself this week definitely paid off. I know things can better -- but I also know that when we're in it, it's hard to imagine. Hard to see out from under the thick cloud of BLAH that is on top of me and feels like it's weighing me down.
Hang in there, hun. It's good that you're here reaching out for support. <3
My addict husband started a program on Monday, too. It's a full-day outpatient program and they said they want him to attend at least for 3 weeks. Then they'll reassess.
Currently my husband mixes pills with alcohol. Pot and mushrooms have been in the picture recently, too. He also has a long history of using many other drugs (acid, mushrooms, pot, heroin od that landed him in the hospital, 2 DUIs). Addiction lives on...
But it was a big deal for me when he went in on Monday. It was so weird to be home and him not be there. I thought I'd be able to get a lot done, but what I found was the case was that I just needed to cry and lay around and pet my cat and rest. I was EXHAUSTED from all the drama that had led to the point of him finally going into a program and all of my codependent behaviors that were super flared up.
So this whole week has kind of been a blur for me -- I didn't accomplish much of anything that I thought I might...
But!!
I did go to Al-Anon meetings.
I did rest in my bed.
I did journal.
I did breathe.
I did read posts here on the SR board.
I did make sure that I ate good food.
I did let myself cry when I needed to.
His being gone gives me even more of an opportunity to focus on helping myself feel better. As the others have said in their replies, this is a great opportunity for you to start healing the parts of you that have been hurt in your relationship with your bf. The support meetings they've suggested sound like good thing to explore.
I've been to like 6 Al-Anon meetings since xmas and I had been SO depressed. I cried at every single meeting. Until this morning!
AT this morning's meeting I was actually smiling and able to share that I'm feeling a little bit happier. A little less scared and depressed.
I totally didn't see it coming, but my efforts to take care of myself this week definitely paid off. I know things can better -- but I also know that when we're in it, it's hard to imagine. Hard to see out from under the thick cloud of BLAH that is on top of me and feels like it's weighing me down.
Hang in there, hun. It's good that you're here reaching out for support. <3
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