Addict Will Use ANY Means to Communicate - Learning the Hard Way
 

I thought that I understood the essence of no contact and that going no contact was more for the sanity of the person disconnecting themselves from the addict than anything but I have learned that:

1. An addict will use any excuse to communicate with you once you have attempted to sever the ties
2. An addict will blatantly make up lies to try to keep the cord linked
3. An addict will viciously try to sabotage your success once you have disconnected

This is a note to say that I think I finally learned my lesson. You JUST CAN'T communicate with the addict you are trying to disconnect from. There is no playing nice, so back and forth, no normalcy - it's such a terrible disease, addiction eats away at the very core of everything that is within a 100 yard radius, not to dis-include the person on the other end of the phone. I learned. I learned the hard way, but I have finally learned.

I'm really glad to hear that.
It is terrific that you see your part in the pattern / dance and have really dropped the rope.

Now onwards to your better life and run miles from any guy who has addiction issues, right? ;)

Take heed, those who think they can be "friends" or maintain cordial relations with their ex-but-active addict. It really doesn't work.

YG...

I strongly suspect there is a character disorder with him in addition to his addiction issues, and that's what makes him incredibly dangerous at this moment in time.

I do hope that, for you, this is it. It is one thing to learn the lesson. It is another thing to apply the lessons.

Good luck.

YG, I am so happy to read this from you.

I think you are a vibrant person who is wisely moving on to a better life. We all get through this stuff a little at a time, and when you have that big epiphany of understanding it really does change your life.

I just know there are great things in your future my friend!

XXX

I guess what it boils down to is chaos. What I have noticed is that chaos has been continually generated around me and that I have to stand on the outside of the hurricane or I will just get sucked right in. If I, even for a moment, offer any consolation, advice, or even a "Hello," my XAH will take it and run with it.

Yup. There is a reason it is No Contact. Zero, zip. That is the way the addict mind works.

XXX