kj3880

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. At least he's out of your hair for now. Maybe use that time to get some clarity on what you want to do next???

beYOUtiful

I often wonder that too...WTF is wrong with me? What took me so long to see?...but, we shouldn't beat ourselves up about that. It baffles me how my AH could always twist everything around until I thought I was the crazy one. What I love about SR is that though our stories are all different, we share a common thread.My thoughts and prayers are with you! Take care of you!!!

glitterdeva

Thank you guys, you are right, he out of the house right now and I can get a bit of my sanity back. I was so stressed last night - looking through websites for statistics of how many heroin addicts recover. And then I stopped. WTF am I doing? I am sick with obsession and care over him, I need to get help FOR ME, I need to take care of myself and my children. He is in a 20k rehab right now, getting massages and radio-wave-therapy with juicing, while I am stuck here with my dark thoughts of depression.

I found naranon meeting and going tonight. I really want to get better, so sick of this insanity...

KeepinItReal

GlitterDiva - Enjoy the peace you get for the time that he is away in rehab. I know how tempting it is to check up - and how easy it is to say - recovery looks like recovery.

When I started to focus on MY recovery - and not his - I got strength.

The best thing I ever did was focus on what I needed.

Also - stop all negative self talk about yourself. You wouldn't say that about anyone else... so stop being so harsh to yourself!

Twofish

Dear Glitter,
I am so sorry you have to go thru this pain
once again...not that my pain is less or worse
but when I finally took that step and hired a
lawyer, got the "ball" rolling and saw my options,
I felt better. Sure it hurts but so did the years
(30) of his drinking and then my daughters becoming
addicts, and with no help except blaming me for
all our troubles. I was deep in codependency and
the only thing that helped was face to face support
plus meetings, church, SR and taking very
good care of myself...rest, food, exercise and letting
go of the guilt.
You have options now, plus a little peace knowing where
your AH is. He's safe and taken care of. So it's time to
take care of YOU, dear Glitter.
Hugs and prayers to you. Give your children a big
SR hug from us, ok?
TF

glitterdeva

Thank you guys! It has been very peaceful in the house. Sort of quiet, I am really enjoying it. Except for when he calls Today he called early in the morning (and he just finished detox, and transferred to inpatient. He is supposed to be on a 7 day blackout, but I guess they allow calls because of kids). So he called, said he loves me and loves the kids and said that he understands that he has hurt me so many times. Understands that I am tired of it all. So, he said that many people just stay there and transfer to sober house. It's Florida, its warm, nice, new people, new life. He said that he wants to come back after the thing is over, but if I don't want him to he can stay there. I have to be honest, it made me sad, but also, I have do what is best for me and he has to do what is best for him. So I said that its too early and its his decision. I didn't know what to say honestly. Uggh...

Twofish

Dear Glitter,
Breathe, this is a healing time for you
too. He's safe, not starving, cold or homeless.
So breathe and rest your mind.
Yes, it's too soon to make any decisions. The
rehab center will teach him the tools he can use
when he's discharged and tempted.
Try not to be pressured by your husband, a long road
ahead for him. Recovery won't happen in a week...
Take care Glitter, I will say a prayer for your
Well being and health!
TF