My ex AH went to rehab yesterday...

Old 01-10-2015, 12:10 PM
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My ex AH went to rehab yesterday...

...and I'm left with the fallout. I'm not sure what compelled him to go, but he mentioned to me that his employer helped facilitate him getting into a 35 day impatient program so possibly something happened at his job. I don't suppose it matters. Except I'm left with my kids. I want to tell them it's going to be ok, that they're going to get their dad back. But I know the statistics. I want to explain to my 15 year old why her dad flew hundreds of miles away without even a phone call to tell her he was leaving. She's devastated


I'm trying to stay strong for them while not allowing myself to panic about how I'm going to pay all that needs paid (college tuition, braces etc) on my salary alone for at least the next few months

Appreciate any thoughts on how to help my 3 girls (they're 12, 15 and 19) through this. Thanks!
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:57 PM
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Ann
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VelmaMae, this must be very hard for you to work full time and raise 3 children...my mother did the same when my father died when I was 6 and I appreciate today how hard that was for her too.

If you have family that you can reach out to for help, maybe they can help you through the rough spots. Or tighten the budget until it squeaks and try to make it through. My mother always said "If I do my part, God will do the rest" and He always did.

I will keep you and your kids in my prayers, that somehow you will all stay close and get through these hard times.

Hugs
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Old 01-10-2015, 07:40 PM
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Hugs Velma!

One issue at a time armed with truth.
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Old 01-11-2015, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by VelmaMae View Post
...and I'm left with the fallout. I'm not sure what compelled him to go, but he mentioned to me that his employer helped facilitate him getting into a 35 day impatient program so possibly something happened at his job. I don't suppose it matters. Except I'm left with my kids. I want to tell them it's going to be ok, that they're going to get their dad back. But I know the statistics. I want to explain to my 15 year old why her dad flew hundreds of miles away without even a phone call to tell her he was leaving. She's devastated


I'm trying to stay strong for them while not allowing myself to panic about how I'm going to pay all that needs paid (college tuition, braces etc) on my salary alone for at least the next few months

Appreciate any thoughts on how to help my 3 girls (they're 12, 15 and 19) through this. Thanks!
Big (hugs) to you VelmaMae. He left so quick it must be a shock to you, and will be to your kids too. But the happiest news is hes getting help and maybe you can somehow use this positive to help ease the confusion for your kids. Its awesome his employer helped him! My husbands employer provided "encouragement" and support for him to enter rehab too. I will pray its a good one and he will get the help he needs to recover.
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Old 01-12-2015, 07:33 AM
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I want to explain to my 15 year old why her dad flew hundreds of miles away without even a phone call to tell her he was leaving. She's devastated
Velma...

Ugh. I'm really sorry you're left with dealing with the fallout. Regarding your 15 year old daughter, here's what I think.

I would simply tell her that her father is sick. And the reasons why he left without so much as a phone call have nothing to do with her. It's part of his condition, and I would encourage her to not personalize what he's done.

Of course, this is easier said than done. But it's also the truth.

I would also encourage her to attend Alateen, if she's ready to make that leap. It may be a comfort to know that many boys and girls her age have gone through something similar to what she's going through right now.

So, be there for her. Be strong for her. But be honest with her, too.
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