Intervention after 1 week in rehab
happy, joyous an free!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 693
when i read your original post this was my first thought;
i think that it is a healthy thing to do for you and there is always the hope it will help him in his choices.
i must say it sounds like you have a realistic perspective on the whole situation. detached, as in living your own life, but loving without getting trapped in his stuff. inspirational truly. wishing you and yours all the best. good thoughts heading your way.
Originally Posted by Kimmilynn 
And I do think this is more for us than him, I've never truly told him how this impacts me and I want him to hear it before it's too late and Im identifying his body in a morgue.
i must say it sounds like you have a realistic perspective on the whole situation. detached, as in living your own life, but loving without getting trapped in his stuff. inspirational truly. wishing you and yours all the best. good thoughts heading your way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Kimmilynn,
During my daughters deepest days of using/abusing drugs, NOTHING I said would
get thru to either one of them. They either couldn't or wouldn't listen to any family
member, even as my own father lay in the ICU, critically ill, we couldn't reach them.
All they knew was how to manipulate to get what they needed. They were 19 & 21.
Today, we call that time in their lives "the lost years".
What helped them and myself was to go No Contact. They hit their rock bottom all on
their own, and they were able to fix themselves with the tools they learned in detox
IOP and Suboxone treatment. They are in supportive treatment to this day, perhaps forever.
The lost years and wasted words falling of deaf ears...
I should of used that time and energy on fixing myself and understanding this disease.
That's just my 2 pennies worth.
Please take care, listen to the therapists and counselors.
Please know, we all care about you.
TF
During my daughters deepest days of using/abusing drugs, NOTHING I said would
get thru to either one of them. They either couldn't or wouldn't listen to any family
member, even as my own father lay in the ICU, critically ill, we couldn't reach them.
All they knew was how to manipulate to get what they needed. They were 19 & 21.
Today, we call that time in their lives "the lost years".
What helped them and myself was to go No Contact. They hit their rock bottom all on
their own, and they were able to fix themselves with the tools they learned in detox
IOP and Suboxone treatment. They are in supportive treatment to this day, perhaps forever.
The lost years and wasted words falling of deaf ears...
I should of used that time and energy on fixing myself and understanding this disease.
That's just my 2 pennies worth.
Please take care, listen to the therapists and counselors.
Please know, we all care about you.
TF
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Detroit MI
Posts: 28
Thanks all for your thoughts and advice. I went to church with ABro on Sunday and we had a nice-ish time, given the circumstances LOL.
After the service, they allow family to eat with the resident, so he got to show me around a tiny bit, but part of the tour included their schedule, the steps in each level, meet some of his roommates etc. so I got to hear what he does everyday and all about it. I still wonder how seriously he's taking it, but I also realize no addict wakes up out of a great high and says, maybe I should stop. It takes a rock bottom and a fear of some consequence it seems, so I'm going to stop caring about his motivation. As long as he's there (11 days!) he's sober and that's what matters to me. He also asked for his phone and I said no and that ended that conversation. I told him I thought it was dumb he called his old friends, and he said the roommate that snuck in the phone left willingly Friday so he couldn't if he wanted to anymore.
FF to last night when I got a voicemail from the detective investigating his thievery. At first I was so angry, why am I being involved, all I did was take him to rehab when he asked for help. But I called the cop back, answered his questions but didn't volunteer more than he asked and it was a short conversation since I legitimately don't have any information. Anything I 'know' I learned from his boss who is pressing charges, not from ABro. That part I suspect shocked the cop but whatever, not my problem.
After the service, they allow family to eat with the resident, so he got to show me around a tiny bit, but part of the tour included their schedule, the steps in each level, meet some of his roommates etc. so I got to hear what he does everyday and all about it. I still wonder how seriously he's taking it, but I also realize no addict wakes up out of a great high and says, maybe I should stop. It takes a rock bottom and a fear of some consequence it seems, so I'm going to stop caring about his motivation. As long as he's there (11 days!) he's sober and that's what matters to me. He also asked for his phone and I said no and that ended that conversation. I told him I thought it was dumb he called his old friends, and he said the roommate that snuck in the phone left willingly Friday so he couldn't if he wanted to anymore.
FF to last night when I got a voicemail from the detective investigating his thievery. At first I was so angry, why am I being involved, all I did was take him to rehab when he asked for help. But I called the cop back, answered his questions but didn't volunteer more than he asked and it was a short conversation since I legitimately don't have any information. Anything I 'know' I learned from his boss who is pressing charges, not from ABro. That part I suspect shocked the cop but whatever, not my problem.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Detroit MI
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Lovenjoy
i must say it sounds like you have a realistic perspective on the whole situation. detached, as in living your own life, but loving without getting trapped in his stuff. inspirational truly. wishing you and yours all the best. good thoughts heading your way.
And our distance, on behalf of everyone in the family, has been more of an ostrich than an intentional separation, we knew it was going on but collectively stuck our head in the sand and ignored it and now that it's here we can't anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Kimmilynn,
I so feel for you and your family. I agree with Lovenjoy, in spite of your protestations, you seem to have a good perspective on things. You protected your mom, when you had to..understandable.
I hope your brother will see the truth, and change his life. He is still young and where there is life, there is always hope.
hugs and prayers,
chicory
I so feel for you and your family. I agree with Lovenjoy, in spite of your protestations, you seem to have a good perspective on things. You protected your mom, when you had to..understandable.
I hope your brother will see the truth, and change his life. He is still young and where there is life, there is always hope.
hugs and prayers,
chicory
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